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Something’s not right

I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

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In response to: I can’t cope

tymeModerator

Re: I can’t cope

OMG. I'm smiling from ear to ear. How cute!!!!! @Captain24 . Dog with a bone eh? Was the other dog jealous?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator

Re: I can’t cope

I'm so glad they are considerate of your back.... IF perchance you opened up about your MH, do you think they'd also be considerate? Just a thought.

@Captain24

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

I gave the Pix the bone at our place. @tyme. Angel had doggy chocolate at her place.

If my parents were like this all the time, I would consider it. I do have moments where I think I could tell them but the only thing I can guarantee is the negative judgment.

I would love to be able to ask for their support. But I can and will do this essentially alone! I have you guys and my team

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator

Re: I can’t cope

Fair enough @Captain24 . I'm not sure I'd want to tell my parents either. I think they'd interfere too much. I wanted to make the journey without people imposing on me. Because I knew if I had an inner desire to get better, I would. I didn't want to 'get better' for other people's sake. It had to be for my own sake.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

I’m doing it for me @tyme. I will get better. I know I fail a lot but I’m hoping that as I move along in recovery I will fail less and less. Tonight is an ok one even through the extreme pain. Tonight I’m not a failure.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator

Re: I can’t cope

I agree you are not a failure... tonight, or any night @Captain24 . And I'm sure Pix agrees! Pix is on top of the world with that treat! You are a godsend in Pix's eyes!

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator

Re: I can’t cope

I really hope your back gets better soon! @Captain24

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

The rest of my life, however long or short it is, is going to be hard work. @tyme. I will work to be strong enough to deal with the manic and depressive episodes. I have to stop seeing it as failing. I just struggle with that right now.

I just need to focus on the line from the movie last night. ‘I have an illness, I am not the illness!’

That movie was amazing! ‘Words on bathroom walls’

Im guessing you are heading off now. Thank you for today. I hope you sleep well and that your headache has eased. Enjoy tomorrow.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator

Re: I can’t cope

Goodnight. Speak to you sometime during the week @Captain24 . Hope your back is 100% by the time I speak to you next, and you can then do gymnastics lol!

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

Oh @tyme that picture is absolutely gorgeous.

I hope you got some sleep last night and today is a bit of a pain free or at least less pain free day. 😊

@tyme hope your day goes well too 🤗

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