I can’t cope

Brut has a lot of purple but the first little section seems ok. I’ll just have to see but there is no way that the white dog will work. @MissGremlin I did complete a whole section! It was only 15 rows high and 40cm wide. The next one I’ll do more rows higher. But my hand is really hurting from holding the pen all day!

When I do it I’ll take a photo and put it up so you can see it.

Do they just not want to go to bed?

I’ve just cooked 2 minute noodles for dinner.

@Captain24 wow getting a whole section done is amazing. Maybe it's the way the shadowing is, but it's definitely strange. Can relate to getting a sore hand from holding the pen all day.

They do but it just gets really full on. I'm just glad to be sitting in bed now.

Glad you cooked some noodles for dinner. I can't wait to make Sheppard's pie tomorrow 😋.

I’ll email them and see. I’m really disappointed in it and after all the customs I’ve ordered this is the only one that won’t work. I’m not sure Brut will but I’ll try and trust it. I’m going to send through photos to them. Hopefully they can fix it. @MissGremlin

I can imagine. Just sitting with Casper in a comfy space sounds good.

Im really sorry but I am so tired that I need to go to bed. I thought I’d try staying up but I just can’t. I need this sleeping thing fixed too. We’re one extreme to the other! I wish I could give you some of my sleep so that I don’t need to sleep so much. I go to bed now and have an alarm set for 7:30! Yes I get interrupted sleep but I still shouldn’t need so much. Then you get none!

Sheppard a pie sounds good. I haven’t made it in absolute years.

This time 15 years ago I was in Madrid to see the Pope! That was an amazing time of my life. Very wholesome and spiritual.

@Captain24 definitely contact them and I hope they can fix it for you. They cost alot of money so I can understand the disappointment. I'm a bit worried about how laylahs face looks in the custom one but I haven't started it yet.

It's completely ok sweet, you need to get sleep. Maybe one day we'll both get the sleep we need, we can only hope.

I haven't made it for a while myself but it's always yummy.

Oh wow, that would have been an amazing experience. So glad that you got to do that.

Night night sweetheart, chat to you tomorrow. Lots of love and hugs ❤️.

So it's 2am and I've not been able to sleep, questioning how I'm not actually tired. But it's so frustrating that I'm stuck awake especially cos I need to be up early and won't have a chance to rest today.

There's alot going through my head, not only was yesterday 5 months since both my uncle and my niece passed away in March but Saturday will be 8 months since my other niece was laid to rest in December. It's so much to be sitting with and brings up so many memories. I'm feeling so much guilt that I'm still here and they aren't, the day I found out about my niece taking her life in December I'd made an attempt myself earlier that day, I still feel that it should have been me and not her. She didn't deserve this, none of them did, it tears me apart cos I feel so unworthy of still being here 😞.

Everything feels so heavy tonight and I've struggled to sit with it alone, I've talked to a service earlier which helped to have someone listen but it didn't change how painful things are. I'm safe, laying in bed with Casper snuggled up to me. I just needed to get how I'm feeling and what's going through my head out.

Sorry about another night @MissGremlin

I woke up at 6:30 so instead of laying there and dozing I just got straight up. See if that helps at all.

Im about to have breakfast and cut the dogs food up. Then have a shower and start my day.

Have you had your coffee yet?

Morning @Captain24 sweet, it was really such a bad night. I hope that it helps you to be up as soon as you woke up.

That sounds like a good plan.

I have had my coffee.

I hope so. Will see how I go. @MissGremlin I feel bad for being so tired all the time even though I have slept so long. When you can’t sleep at all.

About to feed the dogs and then I’ll have a shower. I have run out of time.

How hectic is your morning routine? Just think it’s Friday! Are you alone on the weekend?

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At least I know that there is a reason for it now. Plus whatever has come up in my bloods. Being less tried would be so helpful. Same for you. It’s also not depression as that has lifted somewhat. @MissGremlin

I’ll keep checking and like it when I see it. ASL if you are comfortable can you share your diamond art. Have you talked about this friend?