work is a massive trigger. Last night I came home and couldn’t speak. I tried singing to songs on the radio at work but it was just so hard. All I feel is pressure that I’m not good enough. I’m not, they tell me so.
Instead of going grocery shopping this morning I spent time on my bed with my dogs and was nearly late to my chiropractor appointment. I only just realised the time in time. I went and went and got ready made meals for work. I can home and fed the dogs and really don’t want to go shopping so I ordered it online. It was quicker and easier.
I’ve paid the accommodation money that I owed mum and I’ve paid my green slip for my car rego, just to get the pink slip done and pay the rego.
I’ve just sat and done a little bit of diamond art but it hasn’t really helped. I sat in the sun for a bit and that did. I now have to get myself some lunch and drop the dogs in. I’m really not feeling it as it means I’m going to work. At least I only have tonight and tomorrow night and it’s done for 5 days. Those days can’t come soon enough.
Im not real sure how I’m feeling. Maybe dysregulated? I don’t know.
Yeah.. I do feel like I will spiral and lose it all but I need to try. It is expected but it was also unexpected to find the feeling so who knows. All I can do is keep trying. Maybe I’ll be somewhere better at work tonight and that’ll change things up at work.
@AuntGlow
