I can’t cope

Hi @Captain24,

How are you today? 😊

I'm just catching up on posts after being away for a few days. It sounds like you've been putting so much effort into working with your psych and trying different strategies. I really liked reading how supportive she is and how she celebrates those wins with you

I'm also so glad to hear Pix is doing so much better now. It sounds like she's very lucky to have you and your mum looking after her 💛

Some days are hard when I don't sleep well, but I try to keep my energy up by making sure I eat well, stay productive and ... coffee haha

A diamond art of your own sunset photo sounds so special! The photo is beautiful!

Hi @MissGremlin

I'm sorry I missed this while I was away from the forums

Your chicken burger sounded really yummy!

I hope you were able to get through to the chat service in the end, or at least spend some time doing your diamond art

Haha, Casper doing parkour off the lounge gave me a laugh 😂. He certainly knows how to keep you entertained!

How are you today?

Hello @Nala2022, it's all good. How are you doing sweet?

The chicken burger was a simple thing to make but it was yummy 😋.

I've been doing bits and pieces of my diamond art when I can.

Casper is definitely great entertainment, he's always doing something silly.

Today's feeling very heavy, I've not had much sleep but I also woke up with my jaw being locked so that was very painful to deal with. Things are very touch and go at the moment with where things are currently sitting with my thoughts, they've become more than just thoughts. I'm safe for now, laying in bed with Casper curled up in between my legs.

I'm glad it was! I love a good chicken burger too 😋

I'm really glad you've been able to keep doing bits and pieces of your diamond art. Casper really does sound like such an entertaining little companion. I can't wait to have a dog again one day too

I'm so sorry things are feeling so heavy today @MissGremlin. Waking up with your jaw locked sounds incredibly painful on top of everything else you're carrying

I also hear you when you say things have shifted for you, and I'm really appreciate you letting us know where you're at. Thank you for telling us you're safe. If at any point that changes or you're worried you might not be able to keep yourself safe, please reach out to a crisis service or someone you trust so you don't have to carry this on your own

I'm really glad you've got Casper there with you. Be as gentle with yourself as you can today 💛

@Nala2022 it's been really nice to do diamond art with captain while she's been off of work. We've also had fun surprising each other with not showing or saying what we're working on until it's finished and we share the picture. I'd be lost without Casper, he's a constant in my life and I know he's always there when I need him.

Waking up with my jaw locked sucks, especially if i don't realise it until I go to yawn or talk and then it clicks really loudly as it unlocks itself. Sometimes it takes several times of having to force it open and closed for it to be ok but it aches after.

Lately I've not been able to get through to the crisis service or my chat gets ended before it starts without them even saying a thing. It's brought up alot of feelings if rejection and I don't feel like they want to talk to or try to support me. I'm truly alone with everything and feel it's only a matter of time before the inevitable happens. I've distanced myself from the people I'd normally talk to so that I don't cause them more hurt than I already have. I'm exhausted in every way possible and at the moment have no fight left in me, this isn't a battle that I can fight alone.

I'm safe for now, not sure whether to make a cuppa or try to close my eyes for a bit.

Hey @Nala2022

Ive tried some of the things she suggested. I can’t watch the tv show as I don’t have that streaming service. I haven’t tried the kids yoga yet either! But I made the playlists she wanted. So that’s a start.

its a bit of a relief she has to be monitored so closely. I didn’t panic I just tried one of the medications I have and that seemed to have worked so she must have just had an upset stomach or it could have been her bladder stones playing up.

I’ve ordered a few diamond arts. 5 different pets and the sunset. Mum is giving me 2 for Christmas and I’m doing 2 of them for her for Christmas. 2 of her favourite dogs that have passed.

Im glad you look after yourself. You know what works for you. I don’t like coffee but any caffeine doesn’t work for me with my adhd which is hard. Especially on nightshifts!! I how you have been sleeping a little better.

I’ve got some good news. I have had 2 good days. Not just okish really good! Good as in this is where I want my recovery to lead too. It’s my end goal. Most of my thoughts are just ‘can it be like this tomorrow’ not I wish I was dead. Such a change. So I’m going to try and keep doing what I have been doing. I didn’t sleep well last night as I had to do a sleep study and I had this pad stuck to my forehead and it was really annoying. But I can get through the day anyway! Power of positive talk!

Hey @MissGremlin

Sorry I didn’t respond, when I set up the app I couldn’t switch my phone back. Having a thing stuck to my forehead all night was horrible. I didn’t sleep well. So I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing for the test!

Thanks for yesterday as well. It was really good.

How are you going?

Hello @Captain24 sweet, it's ok.

I bet it was horrible having something stuck to your forehead all night, not sure many people would get a good sleep with that. You'll just have to wait and see what the results say and go from there.

Things are feeling heavy today, I'm not sure whether to make a cuppa or close my eyes to see if I can get some more sleep.

How are you doing sweet?

Close your eyes and try @MissGremlin you don’t have your morning routine today and if you can get a little more rest that would be good.

Im sorry it’s heavy for you.

I'm glad you and Captain have each other and can share something you both enjoy. I love the idea of surprising each other with your finished diamond art 😊

You're right, our furry companions really do become such a constant source of comfort. Casper sounds like such a special boy

Ouch that sounds really painful. Has your jaw been locking for a long time?

I'm really sorry to hear you've had those experiences with the crisis service. I can understand why that would leave you feeling rejected and make it even harder to reach out again

Thank you for letting us know you're safe. If making a cuppa or resting for a little while feels manageable, I'd encourage whichever feels kindest for you in this moment. And please keep checking in with us here when you can, we care about how you're doing @MissGremlin 💛