I can’t cope

I have had a shower, self care. I have walked the dogs, exercise. I have chatted on the phone to mum for an hour, connection. I sat on the grass in the sun while chatting, self care. I have tried to do some of the things on my safety plan. I have opened the blinds and front door so I have natural light.

I still don’t feel any better.

I have written a small job list to clean the kitchen. Everything step by step. Not just ‘clean kitchen’

Im trying really hard here.

@Nala2022 @MissGremlin 

@Captain24 you're doing amazing sweet. I'm sorry that you're not feeling any better yet but I'm hoping things shift for you soon. We're here with you ❤️.

I just cleaned my kitchen and did the dishes and I cleaned my shower while I was in there. I'm having to rest in between doing things so I don't end up passing out from the giddiness (I'm safe).

You’re doing well @MissGremlin.

Im going to start my list and see how far I can get.

Do you have to go out this afternoon?

are you doing Lego with nightfury?

@Captain24 Thankyou sweet ❤️.

Hoping you can get a much done as you'd like to.

I've chosen to do shopping tomorrow as I'm not up for going out today.

Don't have any plans to do Lego with nightfury today. Think it's more of a diamond art day.

Shopping can definitely wait @MissGremlin

Im getting there with the kitchen. It is a little easier with step by step notes.

Would you be able to do some diamond art with me today? I should be finished in 30-45 minutes? Only if you want to if you don’t then that’s ok.

@Captain24 you're doing so well, I'm glad the step by step notes help.

Absolutely i would, I'll be ready and waiting for you ☺️.

I'm glad you still took that step @MissGremlin. Even though it didn't settle things the way you'd hoped, you still gave it a go. I hope the giddiness passes soon so you can get comfy in the loungeroom and enjoy some diamond art 😊

I'm about to have some lunch too, I’m starting to get hungry.

Sometimes it's okay to lean on the things that help, especially on the harder days.

I can definitely see what you mean about those sudden shifts. That must be so frustrating, especially when it feels like nothing has changed and it just comes out of nowhere. I'm really glad you're recognising that today is one of those days were taking it one small step at a time is enough 💛

@Nala2022 i ended up cleaning the shower while I was in there and then did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. I've just finished making my bacon and egg muffins so I'm eating them now, Casper is watching very closely 😂.

What's on the menu for you today sweet?

It is frustrating and hard cos it hits so suddenly, it's not a slight drop it's a massive one where things get intense in an instant. I'm looking forward to doing some diamond art with @Captain24 soon☺️.

Thankyou for being here today and for being so gentle and supportive ❤️.

@Captain24 you really are trying so hard, and I hope you can give yourself some credit for everything you've done today, that's a lot especially on a day where you're feeling so low

I know it can be really disheartening when you do all the things that are meant to help and you still don't feel any better. But none of those efforts are wasted, they're all ways of looking after yourself, even if the relief doesn't come straight away

One step at a time is more than enough today. We're here with you 💛

I feel like crying… I have finally done it. It’s been done for the first time in over a week. I even dried and packed the dishes away. All that is left is to unpack the dishwasher. I even chucked in a load of washing.

I did it!

Jetts diamond art is still on the bench to be sealed but I’ll do that when I have finished the one that I’m doing.

I can’t actually believe it. It feels a little better knowing that it’s not disgusting anymore.

I’ve tried to everything right today. It’s not helping with the thoughts or the extreme urge but at least I have given it my best.

@Nala2022 @MissGremlin

Im ready to be distracted by diamond art if you are?