I can’t cope

It’s really good @AuntGlow but I have an extremely sweet tooth. Sweeter than anyone I know.

I hope so. I’m just so far down and out. I’m about to start on a new section of my diamond art. I actually feel scared to go to bed. Last night I kept having dreams and they woke me up. I don’t remember anything about them though.

I had chicken flavoured. They are the only ones I eat.

I sort of am being kind to myself. I allowed myself to stay in bed most of the day and say it was ok. Plus my whole financial shit fight is not my fault, that Pix needs all this and it’s for her.

I haven’t done recovery club. I don’t think it would work with my work hours and I’d miss too much. I just have to grin and bear it until I can afford to see her again.

oooh, I reckon I am not far behind (currently eating chocolate hahah). @Captain24

What does the section look like/what diamonds are you using?

I understand that fear... do you ever listen to meditations/anything in the background to help distract your mind (this can make it feel safer to sleep).

YUM. I like chicken too, but I haven't had them for ages. I am genuinely considering hunting some down now (you're giving me a lot of food inspo this week, thank you).

This is really wonderful to hear. I actually did the same. You're absolutely allowed slow, restful, nervous-system/neuro-friendly days.

100%, you are being the most incredible dog mum right now. 🥹

You can utilise your 5 sessions across the span of 6 months, and you can book them whenever feels right, so it could be helpful to have in your back pocket for when things are feeling tough financially. But no pressure, of course, just an enthusiastic suggestion! 🥰

@AuntGlow this is the one I'm working on, Not overly happy with the way the colours are looking though.

Harry potter is just a comfort show for me really, I'm not even sure what it is about it.

It's horrible when they linger, hoping your cough goes away soon. I'm not coughing much thankfully, it just hurts when I do. I've had antiseptic lozenges which numb the throat and they help.

I'm feeling so let down right now, I worked up the courage to call mental health triage as the crisis service didn't seem to take things seriously or even care, but they've completely brushed me off, just telling me to see my doctor when I can (my appointment is still a week away). Why does rejection hurt so much, why will noone help when I'm trying so hard to reach out and get support? I'm safe for now, it's not a good night though and I'm constantly assessing the situation. I've been sitting here doing diamond art and watching Harry potter, about to put number 7 on.

@Captain24 well done sweet, I've almost finished this section then I've only got 1 row of sections left to go.

The part I’m doing at the moment is grass. Jetts whole border is grass so it’s slow and time consuming but will look good when it’s done. Still a couple of weeks away. Just the standard dots but square instead of round. @AuntGlow

None of the food inspo is healthy though. I also found this chocolate ice cream I like. It’s ’Murray At’ chocolate with chocolate syrup ripple! It’s good!

I listen to rain or thunderstorms. Some times it works and others it doesn’t.

Im trying to take care of myself so that this doesn’t stay too long. Hopefully it’s just a day of bad blues. Maybe I will be my general depressed self tomorrow not this that I’m feeling. I’m safe just don’t have any energy or motivation to even think of it.

I should look into it one day and check out whether it will work for my roster.

That sounds good @MissGremlin. Almost done. I did the first colour of the next section but I think I might try and go to bed. It’s nearly 3 hours past my bedtime so hopefully I will sleep. Not feeling overly tired but see what happens after a shower and jumping into bed.

I hope sleep find you soon.

@Captain24 I really hope sleep finds you quickly sweet. I'll probably be around most of the night so if you need company at anytime feel free to tag me. Lots of love and hugs to you sweetheart ❤️.

Hey there @MissGremlin,

I just wanted to comment because I can see that you've been feeling really rejected by support services tonight 😟

You've taken all the right steps to reach out! It can take a lot of vulnerability to open up, so it's definitely understandable that you feel let down about not getting the support that you're wanting. Although it might not be easy to believe it right at this moment, I really want to share a gentle encouragement that there are people out there who are very much wanting to support you. It may not be those exact people that answered the call tonight, but it might be the next ones that pick up. You deserve to get the support you need, and you can give yourself that chance by trying again.

I know that making the decision to try again isn't easy, so I will leave it up to you to decide when you might be ready to try and reach out again 🌿 If the crisis service you called tonight didn't work out, it might be helpful to consider the other ones available (Besides Lifeline, there's Suicide Callback Service, or even Beyond Blue). If thinking about reaching out again is too much for tonight, it's okay to take things one step at time and just focus on your diamond art!

I think Harry potter is a great world to escape to! What better way to forget about our troubles temporarily, than watching a world full of magic?

I hope you have a really calm night 🌸

Hello @MindfulMango, I appreciate your kind words, thankyou ❤️.

It really took alot and was actually a last resort, I've tried everywhere else and was encouraged to try them in an attempt to hopefully get some support given that I can't from anywhere else. Unfortunately they told me not to call them back as there's nothing they can do to help me, I'm very much in crisis and I thought that was the purpose of the service. I don't understand how they didn't consider helping me given what's currently happening and what I've been doing (I'm safe for now).

As for crisis service I'm only able to reach out to lifeline, the others are not options due to previous experiences/restrictions. So I'm very much feeling stuck on what to do.

Having Harry Potter on is soothing for me, they are movies that I know well so don't require much focus, they can just be on in the background while I do my diamond art.

Hey again @MissGremlin,

It's great to hear that you're safe for now 🌼 It sounds like it would be really important to get connected to some supports again soon though. I saw you saying on the other post that you've got an appointment with your doctor sometime next week. It might be helpful to think about connecting with them tommorow, so that you can move the appointment forward and get the support you're needing 🌿

I know it can also be overwhelming to think about, but if you feel like you're in crisis, going to the nearest Emergency department, or even calling 000 might be good to consider as well.

You're doing great to self-soothe! However, it can also be isolating dealing with crisis alone. So I hope that you're able to find the right service soon!