I can’t cope

@Captain24 haha yeah that part could take a while 😂. I've got the anti nausea medication so hopefully that will help if I do have that reaction with it. Really hoping it helps as I need something.

I hope your psych appointment goes ok sweet. I'll be thinking of you.

It would be phone telehealth. I'm not sure if they will be willing to do it as they wanted me to come in for the first one but my doctor has contacted them to say its not possible and that I need support urgently.

I’m really hoping it’s a good thing g for you. Just remember it could take a while to kick in. Maybe a couple of weeks but at least there is hope in sight. @MissGremlin

Phone Telehealth sounds good as I find it easier to talk on the phone usually. But I’m finding the sessions I have on the screen are really good. I hope they accept the first to be a phone call.

My anxiety is high after that appointment. My 45 minute appointment went go an hour and a half. We talked about the horrible dream I had on Saturday. It turns out it was a nightmare. We talked a bit about what had happened in the past with my aunty and uncle that were in the dream. How close we were and how now I don’t speak to them and why. We talked about my fear of judgement telling her about my dream and that I’m judging my actual self not dream self for allowing it to happen. I feel so uneasy and scared after talking about it and ashamed. I could never tell anyone else about it.

I need to calm my anxiety down. I can’t feel my hands and feet. I have done the 3 things one. My heart is racing and so is my breathing. I feel really scared and on edge.

Sorry for dumping all of that.

I’m so scared. Really scared. It’s hard to explain. I’m safe but this fear is extreme just like the other night at work. I can’t even get my head around how scared I am. I need it to stop. I’m shaking in fear and I’m on the verge of tears. I’ve got things I need to do but can’t as I’m just too scared. I can’t face people like this.

@Captain24 I'll come back to your post later.

For now though let's try to bring things down a bit. I'm right here with you sweetheart ❤️

Hey @Captain24 I'm hearing that you are feeling quite heightened after an appt? I think that's to be expected when you're revisiting a trauma nightmare. Sounds like it's all been a pretty harrowing experience, and I think you're quite brave to have brought it up.

Hope you have the afternoon to yourself now so you can focus on regulating and self-care?

How was your doc appt @MissGremlin? No obligation to respond of course, hope you're also engaging in some self-care this arvo 💜

Oh and @Captain24 I will try to think of some songs for you! The only ones coming to my mind were mentioned in a meme I saw recently about 'white people anthems' 🤣

Mr Brightside by The Killers and Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO 😋

But do you want them to be harder to guess if it's for Trivia night?

@Jynx the appointment was hard. I'll tag you over in my thread rather than repeating everything.

Hey @Jynx

I don’t feel brave. I’ve had a bit of a sleep and then got up for half an hour but I can’t be up. I’ve gotten back into bed. I’m still all shaky and really anxious. I’m dizzy and lightheaded. Bed feels like the only safe space right now. I had things I needed to do but just couldn’t do it.

I wish I hadn’t shared it. I feel ashamed, really vulnerable and raw. I know it was just a dream but I did some bad things and I feel like sharing it has eaten into my soul. Is it a representation of who I am?

Tjise songs sound good. They don’t have to be really hard. Just stuff that people actually know. YMCA is easy but at least people will get it and know that they knew the answer.

@Captain24 coming back to your post now that I can sit for 5 minutes.

I can understand your anxiety being high after the appointment especially being vulnerable sharing your nightmare with her. I truly understand how you're feeling as I actually shared some of my nightmares with my doctor today and I've shared previously with the counsellor I had. Even though it's just a dream/nightmare those things hit so hard whether it's things we've done or things we see etc. But know that it's not a representation of who you are, not at all.

I'm sorry you're still feeling really anxious and feeling dizzy, I'm glad you're listening to your body and staying in bed and it's perfectly ok if that's what's needed right now.

I'm sending you so much love and hugs sweetheart, I'm here for you ❤️.

I’m glad you understand @MissGremlin. I don’t really. This kind of thing doesn’t happen to me. I don’t have bad dreams. I barely dream at all. Sharing it has shown me how much it has really shaken me. I’m really not ok at the moment.

How are you going?