I can’t cope

@Captain24 yes I'm glad I got some sleep. I think it was just doing what i did yesterday that's made me sore.

Appointment is at 11am.

How are you doing?

I’m struggling but I have been grocery shopping and about to wash the floors and then my house is clean. I’ll go and have a shower and wash and dry my hair then wait for the dishwasher to finish and cook dinners for the next few days and other than ironing when my washing is dry I have nothing to do. My appointment is at 2 and the. Tonight I’ll cook dinner so I have lunches for work. @MissGremlin

I have found it easier to clean my house since I haven’t done it so often.

I got nearly 9 hours sleep so I feel better in that way.

What are your plans for the day?

@Captain24 sorry to hear you are struggling sweet but despite that you have done incredibly well to get things done. How are you feeling about your appointment today? Know that I'm here for you ❤️.

Glad you got a decent sleep aswell, it's always helpful.

I only have the doctors appointment and maybe a quick trip to the shops if an order is ready to pick up today. Hoping i might get some of my diamond art done being that I didn't get to yesterday.

I’m actually excited. I live talking to her and her helping me understand things better. Plus I want to tell her that I have listened and left the house everyday. I do want her opinion on my excess diamond art though. @MissGremlin I also want her thoughts on my suicidal thoughts and whether she thinks I need to make a Pdoc appointment.

I have to do everything today as I go back to work tomorrow. I should be finished in well under 2 hours and then back to diamond art.

I hope you get to get to it just to chill for a while. Just to distract. Are you going to tell your GP everything about the black outs and headaches? If you cant can you write it down and hand it to them?

@Captain24 I'm glad it's something you can look forward to. It's so good that she helps with things too. Definitely make sure you bring up the suicidal thoughts, better to err on the side of caution and have things in place for support just in case.

Ahhh yes back to work again, I do miss our chats when your are at work 😂. Hope all the chores go smoothly and you get to relax with the diamond art until your appointment.

Hoping I can at least do some. I do plan on telling him everything and about my thoughts too though he does already know about them but it's the worry that it's more than just thoughts if you know what i mean (I'm safe).

I miss you when I’m at work too. @MissGremlin. I do think of you while I’m driving around and wondering how you are. I also feel guilty that I’m not there for you and pretty much come home just before 8 and then in bed by 8:35. But since my alarm goes off at 4:30 it’s pretty hard to stay up.

Im glad you are going to tell him. I get what you mean about the thoughts. That’s what she is going to ask me and I’m always honest but a little scared to be. But I will tell her when she asks. Then following that is the safety question!

It sounds like it’ll be a rough appointment but I’m hoping they listen and not dismiss you. I’m really worried about your headaches and black outs. Oh and obviously your thoughts.

Im getting there with my jobs. I just have to dry my hair and start cooking! The dishwasher should be finished in under an hour so I can get the bowls out!

@Captain24 awww you're so sweet. I find it gives me something to look forward to though cos I focus on when you you've finished your block of work and we get to catch up for chats ☺️. Please dont ever feel guilty though, I know you care and you're here for me as much as you can be just like I am for you ❤️.

Yes it's not an easy thing to talk about but if we aren't honest then they can't help. Unfortunately with what's going on here at the moment my appointment isn't going to be focused on me now (I'm safe).

You're doing so well with your jobs sweet. I'm going to get ready for the appointment now so I shall chat to you a bit later.

Please tell him about the blackouts and headaches even with what is going on @MissGremlin. It’s important.

I’ll chat to you soon.

Im thinking of you.

How did your appointment go? @MissGremlin

@Captain24 i accomplished nothing for myself at my appointment 😞.

How are you going sweet?