I can’t cope

I’m so glad to hear from you. I’ve been stressing. I know what it is like to have them rock up at the door. @MissGremlin

Those stars are cool!

Im sorry it came to that. I hope you are ok? Pain relief and snuggling with Casper sounds like a good idea. What about something little to eat?

Im here to wait with you.

@Captain24 I'm sorry that you've been stressing. It happened the other day that they rocked up, only it was completely unwarranted as the chat disconnected but there was nothing concerning that was discussed. Thankfully the 2 ambos that came out were incredibly understanding and compassionate, they were shocked to hear that I've but been able to get support.

The stars are fun to make, not sure i could go smaller with them though 😂.

I'm ok but not ok if that makes sense (I'm safe). I've still yet to get pain relief as I was trying to let my body settle a bit first before getting up. Casper is laying on my feet too so I'm stuck. Not sure if I'm feeling hungry at the moment but I should try to eat something.

Thankyou for being here sweet ❤️.

How's things feeling for you?

It’s all good. The police and ambos come quick here, I forget that it takes a while everywhere else. @MissGremlin

I’m glad that they were understanding. It’s nice to be able to talk and feel safe.

They look like fun.

That makes sense to me. That makes sense to settle first you don’t want to get up too soon and you can’t disturb Casper! Just something to settle your tummy.

I’ve just been sitting here doing diamond art. I don’t feel like cooking so I’m just going to have packet rice and tuna. I’ve got 2 lots of meals to cook that I got today but just don’t feel like the mess.

Im doing it pretty tough but it’s ok.

@MissGremlin I'm sorry to hear that's what you're sitting with hun. Those stars are very cool though!!

Is there some way you could show yourself some self-compassion tonight?

@Captain24 you are going through hell but it's like going from the frozen part through the burning part, onward towards getting out. You ought to be super proud of yourself for holding on and keeping on.

Oh frustrating about the lack of results!! I guess that could be a good thing, like no one is 'putting a rush on it'? Maybe.

Aww hope your puppers calm down soon 🤞

Yes I do enjoy that my work 'uniform' is mostly PJs 😋 Cosy-maxing!!

@Captain24 it all depends on how busy they are here, but usually for MH related things they can take hours.

It helped to have people that were caring, it's not always been the case.

I'm not overly hungry but I've put some pasta on and I took pain relief while I was up.

I'm sitting down doing more of my diamond art. Cooking feels like so much effort sometimes and the cleaning up can be exhausting. Some rice and tuna sounds perfect ☺️.

I'm here for you sweet just like you've been here for me ❤️.

@Jynx it's been such a long day and I've kept myself awake so that I can hopefully sleep tonight. Thoughts are really sitting heavy today/tonight, I just haven't been able to shake them (I'm safe for now).

As for self compassion, does staying connected here count cos I feel that's all I've got right now.

I just feel like I’ll never get out @Jynx I never seem to find it, something else goes wrong and it never lifts.

I am reaching out more than I ever have. I think I really need to to get through this safely. It’s costing me a shit load of money but I’m trying to keep supported. My next GP appointment is a month away but he said to call and get the receptionists to call him so I can get an appointment if I need to. I’m safe at the moment but there are times where I really think about it and it’s only going to get worse

I only have to wait until Friday morning but then I have to try and sleep for nightshift after the call. If I have to have the surgery there is so much to plan and that’ll be going around in my head.

I’m trying to just keep distracted but it’s hard as it’s only diamond art that I can do where I don’t think. I don’t have the capacity to have to think and look for stuff. I’m running out of diamond art though. I did order more today but they will be 6 weeks away if I’m lucky. I got pictures of the dogs.

They are both inside now, it’s really cold out there.

PJ’s are so comfy. The whole not having to shower and get dressed for work is really appealing! I don’t think my work would be happy with that! 😜

Have you got any plans?

Oh so you won’t know for a long time! @MissGremlin. That sucks, it’ll be in the back of your mind.

Im glad you are having something. What will you have with the pasta? If I can’t be bothered I just put cheese on it.

It was savoury chicken flavoured rice and tuna with jalapeños so it was good. 90 seconds and it was done and just a bowl and fork that I put straight into the dishwasher.

How are you going with the diamond art? I’m stressing as I only have one more here and the ones I ordered will take 6 weeks or more

@Captain24 I'm hoping that I'm in the clear by now but yes it will still linger in my mind.

I found a pasta sauce in the cupboard and I grated up some cheese to put on top 😋.

Your dinner sounds very yummy and bonus that it was so quick.

I did a tiny bit but had to keep an eye on dinner cooking and now I'm eating but I'll do some more after. Oh that's tough, it's always a worry when you know you're down to the last one especially with how fast we can get through them.

That’s good @MissGremlin. Less stress.

Sounds good. Simple and easy plus tasty.

It’s so easy. A lot of us at work take it for lunches and dinners. It’s easy and simple but really good. There is at least one person having it every meal break. I’ve got quite a few in the cupboard. It’s good for when you run out of money and my dietitian is happy with it so that’s a bonus.

I have tomorrow and then really can’t do much until I’m on days off again. So hopefully it’ll keep me going. But if all else fails I’ll go online and look. I’ve ordered from Temu before so I’m sure they will have something. I won’t frame it or anything but I can do it. Or I can look in spotlight as I need to do an order anyway.

Are you feeling more settled now you are having dinner?