I can’t cope

All my expensive ones are squares!! @MissGremlin @tyme. The only circles I have done are the cheap ones from Kmart that I got to take to hospital with me

Square diamond art drives me bonkers @Captain24 ! I don't know how you manage!

Arghhh... @Captain24 , work tomorrow. I hope the shift goes okay. I wonder if there are certain phrases you can start re-training your mind with, as a way to help you reframe? A thought for the psychologist I guess.

When I sit back and reflect, I lost so many years of my life because of how negtive my brain was. It's honestly such a miracle how we can retrain our brains to think differently.

If I had the energy, I'd probably do some research on it!

But yes @Captain24 , you're right. It doesn't make the current any less painful.

I hope you have the best day tomorrow!

Maybe that’s why they take me so long @tyme. The one I’m doing is 30x40 full squares. So the entire thing has dots. It’s a photo of Pix and Angel. Their last photo together.

She is slowly trying to change my mindset. I’m suppose to find 3 things I’m grateful for each day. Today is too hard. I don’t think there is anything. I know it needs to change and sometimes I can see a change but right now I can’t even see a better life. It’s just like I’m going to be stuck here for ever. I have lost all hope. Nothing is changing. And then I still have to have the same surgery again in 4 weeks with all the same hormones!

Im about to go to bed. I need to forget about everything, today, Pix’s diabetes, my life just everything. The only way to do that is to sleep. Plus I still have to get through tomorrow. Then I have half a day break, sleep in the afternoon and start nightshifts.

That's a really good start re sharing 3 things you are grateful for. It's actually impossible for the brain to be filled with gratiude and negative thoughts at the same time. @Captain24

Thank you for sharing that strategy so I can remember it too. I forget to do it too when there is a lot of darkness around.

I really appreciate the reminder!

As for my sticky notes, I've been doing okay with them. However, the more I tick off, the more I'm adding to the page! So now, I have two A4 sheets with a whole list of things to do!

But honestly, this week, I've been too tired to really do much.

I'm certain you will not be stuck in that frame of mind forever. You are always so open to feedback and trying new things. It would be impossible not to see shifts! I know your surgery is coming up and it's scary. I totally acknowledge that.

We are with you. I'm going to bed soon too.

Take care and have a GREAT shift tomorrow!

I hope your shift isn't too rough today @Captain24 🤞

It's good to hear that your psych is attuned to your behaviours, it goes a long way, hey!!

How long till the surgery now? Glad you've got some meds to help support the healing process 😊

Green dino, that's cuddly to boot? Soooo awesome!! I'll have to scope em out, love me a cuddly dino pal hehe 😍

Do you have a favourite dinosaur?

How's work @Captain24 ? Thinking of you.

It wasn’t great @Jynx but better than yesterday.

I think she knows me better than I know myself. She is really good at her job. I don’t know if it’s because we met in hospital with her being my facilitator and got to know each other there, but it feels like I’m talking to a friend. Just with very helpful advice!

Surgery is in just under 4 weeks. At least I’m prepared with what may happen this time but it doesn’t make it any easier. If that makes sense.

Dinosaurs don’t interest me at all just the little cute stuff. This is really cute and I love the colour green it is. It’s like a mint green. It matches my house! Lol

I was driving home and a word popped into my head that describes how I’m feeling. That word is ‘detached’ I’m happy Pix is doing well and it’s good to see her playing again and stuff but I’m ‘detached’ from it. It’s the same with anything else that use to make me smile.

It wasn’t great @tyme but better than yesterday.

I realised a good word that describes how I feel. It’s detached! I feel detached from a lot of things. I need to write it down for my psych. She will say she already knows! 😂

Hey @MissGremlin.

I read along. You do matter. You matter to me. You are there for me and support me a lot! You matter to me just by being you. You matter to Casper. You matter to your other forum friends. The world is a better place with you in it.

Hello @Captain24 sweetheart, thankyou so much ❤️. Always remember that you matter to me aswell, you're an amazing friend here ❤️

How are you feeling tonight?