I can’t cope

PLease take care @Captain24 - I'll catchya tomorrow evening

I have become a person I don’t want to be. The only reason I got out of bed was I had an appointment. I came home and went straight back to bed. I hate that this is what I’ve become. I hate who I am.

Hi @Captain24,

I have felt like you are feeling in the past. I remember going to an appointment, work, etc .. it felt like such a chore. All I could focus on was getting what I needed to do over and done with so I could go home and go back to bed. It didn't matter what time of day or night it was, that's all I wanted to do.

As time went on things did get better and little by little I started to reengage in life and started to see some hope and joy again too. It did take time but it did get better. Please know I understand because I walked that path too.

Sending hugs my friend,

FloatingFeather

I can't understand how tough that is to feel that you've hate who you've become. At my worst, I remember thinking the same. I got angry that I had 'let myself down' by becoming this shell of a person I once was. It's not nice at all.

Has Pixie been for a walk today? I'm happy to chat this afternoon if it might take your mind of things?

Hugs

Hanami

Thank you for understanding @hanami @FloatingFeather even though I don’t understand it. There is so much more to say but I can’t really say it on here.

I had to get up. Pixie needed lunch. I might take her for a walk later if my back is ok. The physio doesn’t recommend it.

I just found out that my nurse is away next week too so I can’t see her until the second week of next year. I don’t know that I can do it.

That's no good about your nurse @Captain24. But we will all be here for you. I reckon there'll be lots of members who will look forward to seeing you around during that time.

❤️

Thanks @hanami.

I don’t really think many would care though.

I know for a fact all of us peer workers on the forums will be hoping you're around!

❤️

Sorry it’s the really bad place and can’t see anything good or worthwhile in me. I will get over it eventually. @hanami

Do you have plans for the weekend?

You can totally do it @Captain24 - you have proven many times that you are a fighter. You aren't alone, the community is here for you and I know that the peer workers care about you very much.

Is it nice weather where you are to take Pixie for a walk? Good thing about pets is even on those days when we struggle to get out of bed we know they need us for meals, walks, hugs etc. I used to have chickens and at night they would sleep in a coop. Every morning rain, hail or shine I would get up to let those chickens out at 6.30am. Sometimes it was the last thing I wanted to do but they always gave me a reason to get up everyday!