I can’t cope

It has been a big few weeks and it just keeps getting bigger. I cried all the way through my psych appointment to the point that I was sobbing. @tyme. I think that has added to the exhaustion.

When I took him for his needle on Monday I asked about anxiety. So this one is like a prn and gets taken when required and I have an an anxiety tablet to give him daily to help him stress a little less. We are going to start him on them when we get back. I don’t want to change him though, just settle his constant anxiety slightly.

I know you mentioned in the past that crying brings a lot of shame for you. Yet as you posted, I hear that crying somewhat provides relief. It doesn't need words. @Captain24

Did you find the session helpful?

My psych knows the way I feel about crying and just told me that it meant she was doing her job properly! 😂 @tyme

She answered some questions about the hospital closing. I didn’t really ask about her job as she was upset. She also apologised for not calling me after she found out but she was struggling herself. She really wanted me to hear it from her

I told her how I’ve been going and she is getting really concerned.She wants to refer me to community mental health to try and get more support for right now. She did wish she had a button the she could push to make it all go away for me.

Yes! I've just been reading! The hospital closing down! That's devastating!

Oh no... I don't even know what to say.

What are your thoughts about Comm MH? I'm mindful of your previous experiences @Captain24

I’m not sure @tyme. I could really use the support, just someone to talk to more often.I did talk to my CM a lot but it wasn’t always useful, Well usually not. I told my psych to give me a week to think about it. I’m not sure that they would take me in anyway as I already have private support. I don’t know what to do? Just something else that’s overwhelming. I cried when she suggested that too. It goes to show how really unwell I am. She basically told me today that I’m really sick. She gave me strategies though.

Unless you just give it a go? If you get the support good, but if you don't, that's also good? @Captain24

I guess if it's not for you, then you won't get it? I don't know. As you said, if you have support already, I dont know if they will take you in...

Yeah, have a think about it.

I'd better be off, but I look forward to hearing how it goes tomorrow. Hopefully some photos?

Aww @Captain24 O Captain!

Sorry to hear about the hospital closing, I know that you felt really safe with this psych. Does this mean you won't be able to keep seeing her?

I know it's hard to decide to go back to CMH when you've had a crappy experience in the past. Maybe you could think of it as respite? Maybe it won't be monumentally life changing, but it could be a circuit-breaker, especially if you don't have to worry about meeting your basic needs or looking after a household.

I hope you are keeping your fluids up after a big cry. And I know you're off to beachland tomorrow, yay! Perhaps you'll get to spot some cool ocean critters hehe. May the only 8-legged creature you encounter be an octopus, no spiders!! Teehee! Well I mean, preferably not one with blue rings... 😅

Can't wait for pics, especially of Pix! And Jett of course, perhaps all sandy or looking dishevelled from the water... 😝

Anyway. I know things have been incredibly hard for you hun, but I hope this little holiday can fill your cup and soothe your soul - even if it's only just a little. Big hugs 💜

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Hey @Jynx

It is sad, my safe place has been taken away from me. But they are going to move it to a different one in Sydney somewhere. It’ll still be very similar program and what it was about. It’ll be a female section. But it won’t be the same, the staff won’t be the same.

My psych does private practice and rents an outpatient room off them. She is devastated that she will no longer facilitate but I still get to see her as I am seeing her privately. I wouldn’t cope if I lost her! I’m going to go down again and see her in person in a couple of weeks as I won’t be able to do it again until the end of the year when we have more daylight but I’m scared to go then as it’ll be a new place and bigger area close to the city she lives near.

Maybe that’s why I had a headache!

I hope I don’t see too many! There is a lot of sharks about and I’m going into the ocean! We did see a penguin once. There is lots of dolphins though. We saw a python one other time. Im trying to go with a positive mindset. I am concerned that my alone time on the first couple of days will be with a friend. But hopefully I can cope. It’ll be good to see her though.

I will definitely share. She is a little excited. She watched me pack the car and the pram. I told her we were going to the beach and she wags her tail! It’s a little cute.

I’m hoping it does. I need a reprieve from everything. I do get to see my psych the following week so I know I have that support with how things go and then how I go back home. But this might just fix me! Well it won’t but start to lift me out.

Jett has just had his tablet for the first time. It’s suppose to zonk him out and he should sleep. I’m hoping that it works and doesn’t send him the other way. I think he has ADHD so this could be interesting!

Im feeling a little anxious about this. But im telling myself that the beach is usually my happy place. So it should be very mindful and that’s what I need. Just a break from it all.

Today is a tough one though. Trying to get Pix there without vomiting! Trying to keep her cool! But also driving with my parents, staying the same speed as them. Plus the first 2 1/2 hours are pretty rough going with being unable to pass all the big trucks in most places! Then getting there and then going off grocery shopping but at least it’ll be a little free time. But I do get to take my babies for a walk along the beach tonight and see Pixs face when she hits the water the first time. She is going to run so fast down to the edge. That excites me to see. Something to look forward to is the joy Pix gets. Jett loves running on the sand so he has fun too. But just doesn’t really like the water!

Please don’t think I’m complaining, I do appreciate that I am able to go on holidays. I’m just trying to prepare myself.

Hey cap, we use to take our cats on some of our holidays and they would have a mild sedative and reading your post made me remember this photo… 😂

safe travels