I can’t cope

I’m hoping if I ring early enough in the morning that they can deliver tomorrow other wise there is no shower and no food for work! @MissGremlin I forgot to tag you in my post about my psych appointment. I’ll do it now

I love that mars bar story @Captain24 what a lovely tradition and remembrance! I wholly support you purchasing some mars bars and having them on hand for the times when you need to feel close to your pop. 😍

I am glad you were so open and honest with your psych, and that you can keep the appointment next week too.

I don't mind anything you said in your post, but I am curious (the little cheeky part of me) as to how long before it might be edited by the team lol. But I know you are safe because I trust you when you say it. 😊 (and it's out of my control even if you weren't -- my action would be the same, to still show care and support and love either way). I think your plan for tomorrow's disposal is a good safe idea for you; I also understand that might be a really hard thing to do also which if that is the case it's OK to talk about I reckon (even if in coded non-specific language).

Running out of gas - not fun! Poor thing! I am now hoping your hot water is still hot/warm from the earlier heat of the day??? and that you have something in your fridge to eat cold or else microwave? Or maybe its a really good excuse for some takeaway lol

@Captain24 I'm really hoping they can deliver for you tomorrow sweet. I'll check out your post soon, just doing bedtime routine here.

Sometimes it’s good that no one is reading along. @AlwaysMyself

I was so open and honest. She trusts me when I say I’m safe but she is concerned with how quickly that can change and that I have to go through that step up the ladder on my way back out of this.

It’s on my bench ready to go tomorrow. It is really hard as that was my ‘safety’ blanket so to speak. I liked that it was there. It was available. It is comforting

I had some flavoured rice in the cupboard that I could microwave and put a can of tuna in. So at least it was something. I’m still hungry though as I didn’t eat lunch or breakfast.

I have a pounding headache. I think it’s from all the crying. I cried all the way through my appointment and my psych wants to see more of it.

How are you going?

My distress is climbing again. My heart’s hearting. I can’t even have a shower to try and ease it. Not that I’m sure I would anyway but the option has been taken away.

I’ve taken pain relief but my head won’t stop aching. I’m tired.

@Captain24i hear you sweet and I want you to know that I'm here with you. Are you in bed yet?

Not yet @MissGremlin. I’m watching tv but not really interested.

@Captain24 i get it sweet, I'm sitting in bed with my colouring but I just can't do it, not tonight (I'm safe for now).

What about getting yourself into bed and listening to something soothing while cuddling with Pix and Jett?

Maybe I should. @MissGremlin. Nothing good can come of staying up. My distress is just rising. It’s been another big day. Surely tomorrow will be a little easier.

Im sorry about the colouring. Is there anything else you can do?

@Captain24 i reckon bed sounds like a really good idea. It has definitely been another big day for you. I'm hoping tomorrow is easier for you sweet ❤️.

I'm hoping I can try to sleep soon.