I can’t cope

Thanks @MissGremlin

Im not sure what I did wrong but my post has been deleted. I guess I’m not allowed to talk about getting help.

I hope the doctors appointment goes ok for you.

If I’m not allowed to post then there is no point of me being here.

Hope all goes well.

@Captain24 i think the reason it might have got taken down was as you didn't mention you were safe, so it's probably just waiting to be edited sweet.

My doctors appointment was ok, but emotionally draining. I just got home so I'm going to make myself an iced coffee and try to relax.

How are you feeling now?

I edited it. @MissGremlin. Took a heap of stuff out.

I hear the exhausting. An iced coffee sounds good.

Im not really ok, between my appointment and my post it’s a bit hard. I AM SAFE

@Captain24 i hear you sweet, has your friend come to visit yet?

Did you build some more of your 3D puzzle?

This is my puzzle @MissGremlin @AlwaysMyself @Flutterbug9 I don’t really like it but it’s done

She won’t be here until around 6 @MissGremlin.

Im not really up for visitors. I don’t know how to fake it.

@Captain24 maybe having her visit will be a good distraction sweet, i know you might not feel up for it but sometimes just having someone around can help to lift our mood.

@MissGremlin - thank you for your perfect words to @Captain24 😍. I want to echo them, Cap!

I don't have time now to respond to the longer past post (but I will! it's just that I have to log off in 30min and there is a few others I want to read & also let know I am here but just delayed in responding, including you @MissGremlin !)

But I want to say that you were so brave talking to your pscyh, and I am so glad you did. I am also so glad you have shared here how it went. Obs I don't know what you removed from your post, but I do know how things have been and the thoughts you have been having, so I can kinda take an educated guess.

I am glad your psych is concerned and speaking with you GP about it and trying to get you an appt with him. This shows she really cares about you and wants to ensure you get as much support as possible to help you through this, because it is incredibly hard. BIIIGGGG hugs if you would like them.

I know it can be hard to put on a social expression when you are not feeling great with mood. I wonder if it would be OK to not mask it quite so much, even if just for today? Or is this the friend who does not cope with seeing/knowing people are depressed? (Sorry, I have forgotten which friend you are seeing tonight).

Either way, as D said, I hope it can be a good distraction for you and maybe even unexpected lift out from the funk for a short period of time. But it's also OK and not your fault if it doesn't.

PS - I reckon you did really well with experimenting on a self-care day, even though it unfortunately didn't lift the mood at all. It does not mean you have failed! (otherwise it would also mean I fail every day now lol, which I know is not the case. It's our brains and biology and so much more complex; its not within our control sometimes - such as when we are "doing what we are told to do" as you said)

@Captain24 that puzzle is amazing 😍. I actually almost brought it myself when I saw it the other day 😂

Maybe it will @MissGremlin @AlwaysMyself

All good about not responding. Our posts are getting quite long. My hands had gone numb by the time I finished it as I do it all on my phone.

I have to mask as this is the one that doesn’t cope.

Mu psych is pretty good. She cares. It’ll be interesting what happens with the Dr, whether I can get an appointment or not. It was so hard to tell her. But she could see it in my face anyway.

She said it was ok that I tried. But we have decided that I need to do something everyday and then go into self care. Just so I have accomplished some things. That works better in my mind.

I also have to do monotonous stuff when I’m feeling really bad like I have been of a night. Trying to shift my focus. Just a trail and error and see if that works.

I have finished the 3D puzzle (I posted a pic above @MissGremlin ) and I’m doing something everyday mini blocks. Waiting until my friend arrives. Then I have to cook dinner so I hope she doesn’t stay long.