I can’t cope

Hey @Captain24

What I'm hearing is that you've been having a really shocking day where you're battling with loud intrusive thoughts, and while that's going on you've had the ability to be able to stop and think about methods that could help pull you out of this. Not only did you think about it but you went a step further and decided that you needed a self care day, and then a step forward in deciding what activities would feel like self-care today, and another step in actually doing some of those! Self-care days aren't about being perfect, they're about trying to show up for yourself in whatever way you're able to and that's what you did!

So even though I have nothing to show for my day and nothing ticked off other than grocery shopping, that’s ok? @Ru-bee. I’m beating myself up that it wasn’t good enough and that it didn’t help because I am far from ok. I could have just been productive and still felt the same but at least having done stuff?

Im looking at this all wrong aren’t I?

I'd hesitate to say you're looking at it wrong @Captain24 because I completely get where you're coming from and I think it's natural to feel frustrated, but maybe there are different ways to look at it. In my books trying like you did today deserves to be recognised. You took skills that you've picked up and were able to try some of them to see if you could turn your day around, which is awesome.

It's not so great that it didn't work today, but that happens and it has nothing to do with you failing or doing something wrong

I feel disappointed @Ru-bee I did what I’ve been told to do and kinda feel worse for it. I’ve achieved nothing and now feel like I just wasted the day. It’s hard to explain, it just feels worse.

Things have crashed really badly. It’s a real struggle at the moment. I’m safe but it’s really hard.

Hello @Captain24 my sweet, I'm here for you ❤️.

If today's approach didn't work could we think of a different one for tomorrow @Captain24?

I just want to cry but I won’t @MissGremlin.

I just had something in the backyard and it has totally scared Jett. He won’t settle. I’m hoping it was a cat and not a snake but I’m not going out there so the door is shut. Poor little darling screamed. His little heart is racing. I’m trying to calm him down. Pix didn’t see it so she is fine. I’m really hoping it was a cat!!! If it was a snake it was right at the back door. There’s heaps around here.

I think the only place for me to be able to say I’m safe is if I go to bed. I’m hoping I’ll go straight to sleep.

I have a busy morning and the a psych appointment at 1. Then an afternoon of waiting around to see if and when my friend comes. So the morning should be ok. But the afternoon will be hard especially after my psych appointment that I don’t think is going to go well. @Ru-bee. I need the afternoon to go better than today but I don’t know how to do it differently.

@Captain24 oh that's so scary sweet, poor Jett but I'm glad they are both safe inside with you.

If going to bed feels like the safest thing right now then that's ok sweet. I'm here to talk if it helps at all, hoping you can sleep soon so that you get some much needed rest ❤️.