I can’t cope

Good evening @Captain24 💛

Oops, I accidentally clicked send! haha

Back to your message @Captain24.

I completely understand what you mean. In this case... maybe one day you can acknowledge all that she has done for you and also note that you'd like to feel closer to her? If the conversation is meant to happen, you will know in the moment. 💛

What do you think makes it a little more tricky to do things differently?

I am just sitting with what you have shared here... it's so so tough to rewire our core beliefs. For what it's worth, I can see how hard you are working on understanding this pattern and part of yourself - and that speaks volumes.

Hmm, it's so tough!! On one hand, you're needing to slow down and everything feels challenging, but then on the other, I can hear it's very relieving and creates a sense of achievement too. What strategy would your psychologist suggest around cultivating balance/giving yourself permission to enjoy or slow down?

Pix and Jett love you so much, Cap. And we all appreciate your presence and care about your wellbeing immensely. 🫶

Hey @MissGremlin

Im home, had a shower and had dinner, now just waiting on my babies to come home.

How was today for you? I haven’t caught up on any thing else yet.

Hi @AlwaysMyself.

How are you today?

Work was ok at the start of the day but I really struggled badly after lunch and it only got worse. Usually it’s a distraction but not today.

I came out of work and checked my phone.. I’ve never had so many notifications and I’m a bit overwhelmed at trying to get to them all. So please don’t worry about mine. Just let them go so it’s a little easier on you!

Hello @Captain24, so lovely to hear from you. I'm glad that you're home and have had both a shower and dinner. Hope your babies are home soon.

Today has been really hard for me, I handed Stella back 😞

Well done on getting it all done @Flutterbug9. That’s a huge achievement!

They are so cute and so tiny!

I received something from Kmart today but I haven’t opened the box yet. I ordered mini Lego but can’t remember what I ordered! I’ve go another one coming. Plus 2 other parcels I don’t think they are Lego though. Waiting for my Temu order to arrive though.

I hope things have settled down a little for you. How are you going?

Oh.. no… what happened? @MissGremlin. If you’re ok to talk about it?

Hey @AuntGlow

Im scared at getting her offside so it probably won’t happen but I guess if the chance is there I will see.

I don’t know what is so challenging about changing things up unless it’s the autism. I have always had meltdowns when things don’t go to plan. People have called me self-centred but that’s not it. Well, I guess I am really but that’s not what causes the meltdowns. If someone changes something or something pops up I’m not very good at managing it. I am trying to though. I’m trying to accept that things don’t always go to plan.

My psych is supporting me in whatever i do. She isn’t pressuring me one way or the other. She is suggesting a little ‘maintenance’ in my days but just little things. She is understanding of the need to keep going and doesn’t want to break me. I told her that I just can’t stop and that’s where the little things have come in. But if I told her that I completely stopped and rested she would be happy but check in as to what the reason was and how I felt.

My babies are home now and fighting over a bone. There is two of them but they both want the same one!

Sometimes I think they would be better off without me. Lately all I have been is really distressed and it’s not fair on them. They need someone that is happy. I do love them with all my heart though.

Im struggling again tonight. I struggled at work all afternoon which doesn’t normally happen. I usually do well at work but I just wanted the day to be over. I let everything get to me. I was really upset that the two guys ignore me. I was upset that one girl is always a bitch to me, she wasn’t even on my side of the pit today so I had no interaction and have no idea where the thoughts came from.

I just don’t want to exist anymore. Because I struggled at work today I’m stressing the same will happen tomorrow. Work is my break from life. Now I’m feeling really distraught.

@Captain24 i don't want to go too much into things. But right now I just need Casper, he's my support when things are hard and with Stella here he wasn't able to just focus on me.

That’s ok @MissGremlin

You need him.. you are training him to be a therapy dog aren’t you?