I can’t cope

It’s all or nothing @AuntGlow. There is no middle ground! I have tomorrow off be in the go or my brain just goes around in negative circles. I try to be busy to distract from what’s really going on. I burn out a lot. I feel burnt out now and I think that’s why I’m struggling to regulate myself. But I’ll get up in the morning and push again. I can’t learn from my mistakes. I’m feeling really sore after everything.

What do you mean by ‘softening into action’ ?

She still has an irritation in her throat so when I was chatting to the vet the other day she thinks she wants to cray her so I need to make an appointment to see her. I trust whatever she says. She is the one that saved her life!

I don’t know what I can do to enjoy a moment. I just feel to wired all the time. I feel like I constantly have to be in the go or I get bored and just ruminate or get agitated. Then it all feels too much and I repeat it over and over and then it spirals downwards. I’ve been working so hard to distract myself from everything.

Im at the point where I can’t push myself. Thats not healthy.

I hope the performance was good and you enjoyed yourself.

I knew it’d be brief. You ran out of time! It’s ok as I know my response takes up a fair chunk of time and you have many others that you are talking to. @Jynx

I do do a bit in my own. It’s not a confidence thing it’s if I want to do something I only have me.

Yeah.. explanations could be good at times 😂

I know you will forget but that’s ok. I get it and understand completely. If I don’t respond now I’ll forget!

I hope you have a good week and have some downtime as well. We all need that. I only have today to rest and then I’m back at it until next Monday. 😔

Talk soon.

Just found this in my backyard. I thought it was a baby snake until I saw it had legs! I’m guessing there is a mummy one around somewhere!

@Captain24 just saw your resin work!! even though they didn't turn out the way you wanted, i reckon they look cool 😍 i love the tie-dye effect and colours on that second one!!

It’s not what I want but still looks good @rav3n. I’m taking Pix to the vet shortly and I’m going to have another go when I get back. Different colours and different dye. That dye was opaque this one will be translucent. See what happens!

How was your weekend?

The weather has been awesome today, it’s been 35 degrees and a beautiful sun shiny day. Could really use some rain though just no lightning, it’s started enough fires. The fire warnings are only going to get worse.

Ive completed my huge job list that I wrote yesterday for these two days. I’ve even had another go at resin but I’m not happy with it at all. I’ll see how it turns out in a couple of days when I unmould them.

Pix passed her vet visit so that’s a good thing.

Im feeling really burnt out. Really out of sorts. I just don’t have the energy or motivation for anything. Just sitting on the lounge and haven’t even turned the tv on. I’m kinda feeling too much but nothing at the same time.

I go back to work tomorrow but only for a training day so it’s only 8 hours and I just sit in a room with the whole crew for the day. It’s a lot! Being around so many people all at once, I feel overwhelmed already. Plus I don’t know how to take my adhd meds with me and how to actually take them. I’m not taking my work bag and can’t just do as I want. I’m also worried as it’ll be 35 again tomorrow but there will be about 60 of us in a small room. I think it could get really stuffy in there. I love the heat but being in a full room with it being stuffy is a massive sensory overload.

I return to my actual job on Wednesday. I have been at work since my surgery. I’m concerned as to how it will go. I’m in a little pain after pushing so much in the last two days. How is a seatbelt across my lap over roads with bumps so big they throw you out of the seat and it’s the seatbelt that catches you, how much is it going to hurt.

Anyway… I know no one is around but just wanted to get that out.

glad Pix's appt went ok!! @Captain24 what'd you try make with resin this time?

it's quite hot on your end hey! it's 24 here, perfect level of warmth in my opinion. i hope you do get some rain soon, fire warnings are anxiety-provoking.

great work on completing your list!!! hopefully you get a chance to rest up now. do you like training days, aside from the crowd part? got my fingers crossed that the transition back to work goes smoothly. 60 ppl in a small room does sound quite stuffy though, are you able to take breaks and step outside whenever you like? with your meds, would putting them in a ziplock bag or cling wrap help, and putting it in your pocket help?

It’s a relief. We have to keep an eye on her and if she shows signs of deteriorating we take her straight back and do the next step. @rav3n

I made the same two things just with different resin colours. I really don’t like what they look like and I don’t think I like the transparent dye!

I love it hot! The hotter the better. I do so much better in the heat than in the cold!

The training days are so boring. We talk about how the mine is travelling over all sections. I really don’t care what underground is doing. All I care is that they pay me! Apparently there is a section on mental health with the people that they get in, so that might be interesting. Oh and we are going to learn how to use a fire extinguisher! For about the 8th time in 8 years…

Im hopefully going to sit near the door, maybe I can escape for some fresh air and a break. We do get a morning tea break and a lunch break. There really isn’t much in the way of facilities in that area so I guess it’ll be in the room. Hopefully they put some stuff outside so we can get out. I hate the feeling of being trapped. It causes anxiety and a lot of it. Ziplock bag sounds like a great idea! I’m pretty stupid!!!

Legitimate question. But are you able to basically write anything as long as there is a trigger box?

@Captain24 Depends