I can’t cope

It’s ok. It was stupid if me to ask @Jynx. It was the spicy one but I guess it’s really not my business anymore.

OH @Captain24

Haha I forgot I told you about that....

Tomorrow 😉

Spent another morning in bed. This time though it was because I was so tried. These last 2 weeks have worn me out so much. I’m exhausted. I’m drained. I’m weak. I’m lazy

I had things to do this morning but I just couldn’t do anything. I still need to go and buy Pix some toys for her birthday but the thought of leaving the house is too much. What if I see people?

Hey @Captain24 sounds like you've been needing the time to rest and recharge

When's Pix's birthday? How old is the cutie turning?

Yes @Ru-bee. I really need some rest. It’s been a really hard slog.

While I don’t feel safe and I’m still having really dark thoughts of what I should do and dark thoughts about myself, I can finally say that I’m safe.

Pix is 6 on Wednesday. We are having a little birthday party tomorrow because I’ll be at work Wednesday and I have appointments on Tuesday so don’t have time. I’ve got to get her a couple of toys, some cupcakes, a card and a candle. We kinda go all out! Plus we have lunch and it’ll be hot chips cause they are her favourite! My dogs are a little bit spoilt!

You're not usually here on a Sunday?

I'm glad that you're able to be safe right now, even with those thoughts @Captain24

What a lucky girl Pix is! That sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun!

Yes, this is the first weekend shift I've done so far! I've switched a few shifts around just for this weekend and next to cover the forums 😊

It’s nice to not have to fight for safety even though my thoughts aren't saying so. It’s the first time since Tuesday 2 weeks ago. @Ru-bee

I just travelled 20 minutes away to buy toys for Pix’s birthday. I’m I bit silly. It is a lot of fun. All 3 dogs enjoy the cupcakes. I just buy the ones from the supermarket.

It’s good to see you around.

It's nice to be here 😊 @Captain24

I love it. I usually do something for my cats birthday like get them a new toy and their favourite treats, but I forgot Momo's birthday this year! It was in June and I'd even set a calendar reminder, I don't know how I missed it! Anyway I've been feeling guilty about it since even though I know she didn't notice 😂

I get the guilty feeling @Ru-bee. I was looking at my calendar to see what appointments I had and when and Pix’s birthday came up. If I hadn’t have looked I would have missed it too!

I nearly missed the anniversary of my old dogs death and I still feel guilty that I only thought of it that night.

I’m back in bed.. 😞 I’m just so tired.

Im having trouble with some thoughts..

I feel like everyone is going to leave me. On here and in life. Not that there is many in life anyway. I kinda feel disconnected and inevitably alone. Isolated even.