I can’t cope

I did more stuff on my bedroom @Captain24 does that count? 😅

I cleared out some junk drawers to make space for all my socks and undies - they'd been in this like, felt, compartmentalised hanging drawer thingy that was just so ragged, and was taking up valuable hanging space! So I threw it away 😌

And I vacuumed! Small wins eh?

How was your remaining weekend?

Of course it counts! @Jynx

Sorting out drawers counts a lot. It’s not easy to sort through those drawers. I know. I have a few!

Yay for more hanging space!

I didn’t sleep well yesterday so I was really tired and irritable last night. I snapped at a guy over the 2 way. I got sick of being told what to do.

I can see that you are really busy tonight @Jynx. I don’t want to burden you or take any of your time.

I dont want anyone to complain about me so I’m just going to go it alone. Do my best on my own. That way no one gets upset and no one knows anything.

@Captain24 Aye - I am busy every night my darling, the forums are a happening place! But that doesn't mean that I won't respond eventually - you know I always do.

I am worried about you though hun. You know how much we care about you, that's never going to change. I'm just noticing that it can be really impactful to you when I don't respond, and that maybe in those moments you are needing more immediacy than what I am capable of providing. And that is not about you or me, but about the realities of my role and the work I do.

If I didn't care, I would just tell you to 'get used to waiting' or something like that. I like to think I am not that cruel!! But maybe we can talk about what could be helpful for you to look after yourself if myself or the other peer workers can't respond right away?

Liiiike would it be helpful to check in with other social threads? Find some soothing strats? What do you reckon? 💜

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@Captain24 wrote:

Of course it counts! @Jynx

Sorting out drawers counts a lot. It’s not easy to sort through those drawers. I know. I have a few!

Yay for more hanging space!

I didn’t sleep well yesterday so I was really tired and irritable last night. I snapped at a guy over the 2 way. I got sick of being told what to do.

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TY for the validation btw @Captain24 it means a lot 😊

If you wanted to talk about the incident with the guy over the 2 way by all means vent away!!

Hope you're feeling a bit better today, got more sleepies?

I wasn’t having a go at you. I was just giving you more time for others. @Jynx I was being courteous

I can’t do anything right.

Sorry you think I’m needy.

Sorry for being me.

@Captain24 my mistake hun! I thought you were self-isolating. It tugs at my heartstrings to see so I perhaps jumped to conclusions about your intentions.

I never thought you were having a go at me. Like I said, I was merely concerned about you feeling alone, especially because I know it's not always easy for you to be here. I would love for you to be able to utilise the forums to their full capacity! It's obviously an important source of connection for you, and I want that for you ALL the time, not just when I'm around.

Yes I’m self-isolating. But it’s better for everyone else. @Jynx

It’s not easy for me in here and now I feel that you think I’m too needy. Why would anyone else want to talk to me anyway. I do t think I’ll ever be able to use the forums so maybe it’s not the place for me then.

@Captain24 you may just be a silly goose, cos your self-isolating is what we wanna prevent! lol that's what I've been trying to say, you deserve to stay connected, all the time. That's it, end of story, you have every right to be here, to be part of this community.

I think you're about as needy as everyone else on the forums. And everyone else off the forums. Yep, you are a human being, and you have a NEED to connect. I want you to get that need fulfilled even if particular people aren't online!

The forums are a funny ol' space. Sometimes the only way to know how people will react to us is to put ourselves out there. I can tell you now that if you are as lovely to others as you are to me and tyme, you'll do just fine 😊

All members have ups n downs. Doesn't make any of em less deserving of being here. Same goes for you! If you wanna take time away that's always your choice to make, but if you wanna be here, we are always so glad to have you here 😋💜

We can always chat on it more tomorrow if it's still weighing on you hun 💜

Bye for now!

I just feel I’m taking time away from others and I don’t think that is fair @Jynx. It’s that part of me that I hate that thinks of others. I wish it wasn’t there but it is and I can’t seem to change it as much as I wish too.

I feel like I’m just too needy and I am.

Im too scared to put myself out there. Im not a nice person and I’ll stuff up. I think it’s the whole social phobia thing. Plus I don't have any confidence on here. All I do is upset people and they complain about me. I don't feel like I can say how I’m going anymore and I don’t feel like I'm worthy of general conversation. Plus I don’t know how to have a conversation. No one wants to hear from me.

I’m not sure what I want. This withdrawal is getting really hard and I still have 10 weeks to go and it’s only going to get worse. That puts me back into the too needy category.

Im so sorry. I’m so sorry for being me. It’s ok to despise me because I do so it’s understandable for others too.