I can’t cope

Are you feeling at peace with it all @tyme ?

We are heading home in the morning.

I’ll miss being here but I need some space. I can barely have a conversation with my parents. I can’t be around them much longer. I’m trying to organise it that I don’t have to travel with them home. I’m trying to delay me leaving by taking the dogs to the beach one last time so that they will leave before me.

I’m sorry but I’m not real sure @Jynx All I can tell you is it didn’t have chocolate in it. I do love that Cadbury’s crap though!!

Yes that tweety bird. I love tweety and always have done. I was so excited to see a looney tunes Lego!

We are leaving in the morning. So I should really try and see what will fit!

@Captain24 have you had proper Turkish Delight before? No chocolate involved, and it's usually flavoured with rose water. It's sooooo good!

Cute! I hope you can find some tweety lego soon 😋

Hope you have a safe and relatively stress-free journey home my dear!! I shall have to bid you goodnight, maybe catch you tomorrow if you're not still on the road!! Nighty night hun 💜

No I haven’t had real Turkish delight @Jynx I’ll try it when I see it somewhere.

I’ll be home hopefully around 3 tomorrow. So I’ll catch you then.

Have a good night

I am definitely at peace with the decision I have made. But my brain is confused about how to move forward. So I'm trying to work it out - logistically @Captain24 .

But honestly, just be being on the forums here tonight and knowing people care, has been so helpful. it's actually given me clarity. I don't have answers yet, but my brain feels less foggy.

I stayed up all night and couldn't sleep.

As for your parents, I guess enough is enough. But I have to say that the photos you posted are truly amazing! Do you always go to the same place, or do you go to different places all the time? Are both your parents Indigenous?

I’m glad the forums are helping. @tyme. You deserve peace and happiness.

Im hoping you can get some sleep today. Sleep is so important. Can you take your munchie med earlier?

We always stay at the same place. It’s absolutely beautiful here.

The last few days it has been raining but I’ve still been going to the beach. I think getting out for me time has helped me make it through. I’ve been doing the best.

Sorry I forgot to say the indigenous comes from mums side @tyme

Oh! That's nice that you always go to the same place. So it is a holiday house that you book or something? It sure sounds lovely and so refreshing just to be out with nature. @Captain24

Is it hot there?

I guess it's back to the grind when you return?

Yeah, with my meds, I took them earlier. I'll try to sleep tonight. But if I don't... oh well. I've just gotta take it easy. I'm really careful at the moment with my routine and self-care to try and combat the depression that can potentially come of this.

My niece is so cute. She wrote me a letter:

Roses are red,

Violets are blue

You are the best Aunty,

I love you.

You buy me mogos (?)

You spoil me rotten...

Thank you for being a loving kind aunty.

You make my life easier by just saying a word.

Lots of love...

Yeah.. it’s a holiday rental @tyme

The last couple of days have been cool. It was 17 degrees or something when I went swimming yesterday!

I go back to work on Wednesday next week.

Apparently we have had heaps of rain at home so my lawn will probably be wild.

That is so sweet. I’m sure it’s something you needed to hear.

Do you have supports, like a psych or anything? I have to ask… does it actually work doing self care and following a routine, help stop or limit depression?

Also if I don’t respond is because I’ve fallen asleep. My meds have hit me pretty hard. I’m struggling to type and the restless legs that I have are wild.

I have access to 2 psychs and a social worker @Captain24 . I've reached out to one already.

As for keeping routine, what happens when I get depressed is that I find it really hard to get out of the house, hard to eat anything at all, and I find it so hard to have the energy to do anything. Hence, at the beginning of a possible depressive episode, I push through so that if I don't feel I want to eat, I ensure I eat, and eat healthy; if I'm on the verge of insomnia, I take extra precautions to ensure I practice sleep hygiene; if I feel like staying at home, I push myself to get out as part of a routine.

By doing the three things above, I end up being able to manage any possible depressive episode. So it's more a proactive approach.

When things were really hard last week, straight away, my appetite shut down, my energy levels were zapped and I didn't even want to see the kids. That is a red flag for me.

So I feel it's important to know your red flags and be proactive about your health.

Sorry for the mumble jumble...

Have a great rest and I'll catch you tomorrow - it'll be later though because I have a few meetings on.