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Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before. I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent. there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.
Sorry it’s so difficult for you at the moment @Captain24 when do you leave? And how long are you away for??
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
Captain24Senior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
Just got here @Bow. We are here for a week. I live on my own so spending an entire week in the same place as my parents is going to be hard.
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
BowSenior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
I could imagine that would be really challenging @Captain24 !!
hoping you can get away to spend time on your own when you need it.
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
Captain24Senior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
Definitely challenging @Bow.
Especially since I blame the childhood trauma she caused for my MI. I’m not really ok but I have to put on the front that I’m fine. Hopefully I can work some me time into tomorrow
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
@Captain24 childhood trauma is hard. You definitely deserve some time for yourself because you deserve love and compassion ❤️. It’s amazing how far you’ve come too.
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
Captain24Senior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
It’s hard @creative_writer. whenever I spend a bit of time with them I’m still treated the same and all the trauma resurfaces.
I’m ashamed and embarrassed that I’m 45 and still receive and accept the abuse I copped as a child. I hate myself for it.
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
PaperdaisySenior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
oh @Captain24 it's not your fault. It's never your fault 💝
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
Captain24Senior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
That’s what I would tell others in my situation @Paperdaisy. But when it’s like this I always wonder if I was a better person or maybe more like my brother, would she actually love me and not constantly be so nasty. It makes me feel defective, weak and a bad person.
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
PaperdaisySenior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
It's unfair you have to pay for someone else's issues @Captain24 Be kind to yourself. You deserve kindness 💝 I have seen how kind you are to others on here.
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
Captain24Senior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
It’s all the little things that become a big thing and bring me back into the trauma
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