I can’t cope

@Captain24 got a 21st tonight (one of our friends son) and then tomorrow I have to take my mum to a dance concert for most of the day and night.

Of course both are not near where we live 😏

Sounds like a busy weekend. @Snowie.

I hope it’s goes ok for you especially tomorrow.

Will be glad when it's over @Captain24 Both events require a lot of small talk with others which I'm not good at. Also (especially Sunday) won't have hubby to rely on.

If I had my choice I would be curled up on the couch, with my forum family hiding from the world. I'm really good at that!!

Have you got much planned for this weekend?

When are you back at work?

Not having hubby is hard @Snowie. I know how much he is your rock. I hate small talk too.Thats part of the reason I hate the hairdresser. I’m there for 3 hrs. That’s a lot of talk. You will get through it. I have faith in you. You have us helping you through.

Im just sitting here doing that self care bullshit. I need to find some little plastic sheets to lay down to do my arty stuff that I bought. I just need half a metre by half a metre sheets. But I need a few.

I go back to work on Wednesday but I’m going out of town on Monday for a dermatologist appointment to check on my vertiligo. It’s 2 hrs away but I can go and do more arty shopping. There’s not much here. I kinda want to try everything that I got while on holidays so I know whether it’s worth buying.

After doing a lot of the arty stuff I bought. My favourites are mosaic and resin. At least I know have something else to do that I like. Did I enjoy it? Not overly but it was ok. The polymer clay didn’t work and looks terrible. I’m just not arty enough for it. They will just go in the bin.

Hey @Captain24 keen to see your train when it’s ready. I have the stuff to do some resin but it’s packed away somewhere! I love some stuff that I’ve seen made with it. Just mixing the liquids and stuff turns me off a bit!
D and I did some mosaic ages ago, but we never finished. Never put the grout down. Got it somewhere, maybe we will get it finished some time.
what did you make with the polymer clay? I’ve done a bit of polymer clay work at various groups and also make some pieces that I sell at markets.

Hey @Bow

The resin takes 24 hrs to set and they only gave me one mould. It’s pretty basic it’s just clear resin with some gold flakes through it. I have enough resin to do a couple more but I’ll post this one tomorrow when it’s set. It needs to be in a controlled temperature environment. So I’ve set my aircon at 23 degrees.

I made a mess of the grout in the coasters that I made so I know better for the next one. It was really fiddling to do but it was good. I had to concentrate on it only.

The clay was suppose to be trinket holders. It was from Kmart and looked nothing like the picture! I’m to embarrassed to post them. I didn’t like it anyway. You do well to be able to make them.

I’ve done all I can do of doing stuff. I can’t face anymore of it. I gave it a red hot go but I feeling like I’m pushing for something that is not there. I’m now sitting in the lounge staring at a blank tv screen. I’ve got nothing. I feel like I am nothing. What else can I do? I guess I’m not deserving. It makes me feel like a failure. I’m not feeling ok at all right now.

Breath @Captain24

can you get in your pjs and put a familiar movie on? Something you’ve watched heaps of times before. I often do that. It doesn’t take much focus. Snuggle up with your doggos

Hi @Captain24, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I was very similar earlier in the year. I tried finding things to do to distract myself but it only just dulled that feeling temporarily. For me, I had to completely re-evaluate my life and what I wanted to do with it. I tired to find things that felt more important to me now, things that i qoukd have never rhought of before. It took a bit of experimentation but a lot of just purting myself out there and connecting with other people to start to get an idea of what this direction was.

My lowest point hit in December last year, and I'm only just now starting to find that way foward. While also just starting to finally work on a lot of those issues that have been haunting me my whole life.

So try to remember you're not a failure. We try to do the best we can with the hand we are dealt in life and a lot of the time, its far from easy, especially with not much support around us and a lot of time to just think while we stare off into space. For me, at that point i was my own worst enemy... the constant thoughts of how useless i was and how life just seemed to be a pointless grind.

It was atcthis point I, very slowly, started to think I needed to work out what I could change and focus on that. I still have a lot of bad days, but im in a far better place that I was earlier this year. It just started with trying so hard to stop listening to all those self doubts that dominated my thoughts for so long... inbetween all those temporary distractions.

So I feel like i do understand where you are at the moment enough to just remind you that you're not a failure, you are something,and things can get better. It just takes time and some support.