I can’t cope

Thanks @Ru-bee

My afternoon is going ok at the moment but I have just sat down for the first time today. I’m about to do some diamond art so hopefully that will help me wind down.

I didn’t get through the whole list but we got somethings sorted. I don’t see him for 2 months now but I see a new GP in a month.

Glad I motivated you. It does feel good but it was a necessity as I had grass in it from mowing the lawn!

Heya @Jynx

Undisturbed sleep is the best. I usually wake up a couple of times with the dogs moving or me rolling over and them getting in the way! I have trouble with what day it is when I wake up after a good sleep! Then to remember what I have in that day.

We talked about the cramps in my legs and he suggested magnesium. I’m a little scared as we are going away next week and will be doing a lot of walking. We also did a new MHCP so I can claim my psych visits.

Im feeling good at the moment but I’m just sitting down to some diamond art. I’m thinking I may go and change my sheets since I washed my hair. Love the feeling of everything clean!

How has your day been?

@Captain24 I swear if I didn't have all this time-dependent adulting to do, I feel like the feeling of forgetting what day it is would be really pleasant!! Ahhh.... to not be beholden to structured time and all the responsibilities it carries.... one can dream 😂

Oh thanks for the reminder on magnesium!! I hope it does help you, cos it was what was recommended to me as being the best thing to combat restless legs syndrome! Do you get that at all, is that why you're taking magnesium? It's so annoying smh 😵

Oh yesssss clean Cap in clean sheets, sounds positively lush!!

My day has been chill so far. I do love being asked that cos like... I have that delayed sleep phase 'disorder' (pfft) so I usually wake up around midday-1pm. So like, all I've done so far is drunk coffee and reheated some leftover pizza, then logged on here! It's actually really nice to start so late in the arvo, means I never have to be wrenched from sleep by an alarm, I just wake up naturally!

Maybe you're similar to me? Don't you work lots of night shifts?

I think it would be great to just take each day as it comes with zero commitment @Jynx. I agree, adulting is too much pressure!

I didn’t know that it helped with restless legs! I would have been taking it ages ago. I get them often and it drives me insane. When I was away, all the walking that I did caused extreme pain in my calves and then sent my feet numb. No one knows why. It got worse the more I did it not better. So my GP said to try magnesium as it may help. He had no other ideas.

I changed my sheets and my doona cover! It was a bit difficult with Jett constantly jumping on the bed to play. It’s one less thing to do tomorrow. So tomorrow I can bath the dogs and start packing to go away.

I didn’t know that sleep disorder was a thing. You are a night owl though aren’t you? Is that because of the disorder or is that you? Lucky you work nights! Yeah I do a lot of nightshifts so it does mess with my sleep patterns. Now I have meds to help with that so that’s good. But I also have a strict routine that I try and stick too.

@Captain24 yep, it would be oh so nice wouldn't it!! Ach, gotta stop myself going on a rant about how dumb adulting is - I know you get it tho!!

Oh wow, that sounds sooooo painful!! I hope magnesium does the trick for you hun! Are you experiencing ongoing calf pain or is it more associated with like, rigorous exercise?

Hahaha I'm just picturing a very smooth sheet across a bed, except there's a lump in the middle and the lump's tail is wiggling under the sheet. Very funny mental image, I love it!! Cheeky boy Jett hehe

Ooh where you heading away to? Wait a beach trip wasn't it?

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@Captain24 wrote:

I didn’t know that sleep disorder was a thing. You are a night owl though aren’t you? Is that because of the disorder or is that you?

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Both I guess, haha! I have always struggled waking up early, like all through high school I was always useless first thing in the morning, and it hasn't gone away in adulthood at all. Like even when I have a really regular routine and go to bed at a 'reasonable hour' in order to wake up early, it still just makes me miserable! I haven't got any 'official' diagnosis for the sleep disorder dealio but when I read it was often related to ADHD I was like OH....it me lol. Found an article if you're curious.

I've noticed my most productive, creative hours of the day are between 2am-5am. Are you similar, or do you find night shift actually not so suitable for your natural hours of awakeyness?

It’s very painful @Jynx. It makes me cry in pain. I just had minor pain mowing today so I think it’s more rigorous exercise which I will be doing from next Thursday.

Yeah a beach trip. Hopefully the weather is nice and mum and dad don’t fight like last time.

That image is close! Every time I shook the sheet to put it in he jumped under it. Then when I was putting the doona cover in he was the same. He just likes to be difficult and he is a little shit but I love home and wouldn’t have him any other way.

That’s an interesting read. I have times when I’m like that so I always have to set an alarm to wake up. Sometimes I can just wake up before it but mostly not. Before the current meds I would be lying there awake until all sorts of ridiculous hours.

No.. I don’t function at that time. I struggle between 2 & 4 on nightshift. Thats why one of the guys does trivia at 3am. Sometimes I breeze through and other times I don’t. The only time I’m super active at that time (when not on nightshift) is if I’m manic. I have been known to be scrubbing my house clean at that time of the day! All the meds I’m on have reduce that greatly though. Leave me with the depressive episodes and take away the fun ones. How rude!!! 😜

@Captain24 aww hun, that's hectic!!

Aye true, and from what you've said they do tend to get stuck into it a bit. I hope you've got some top quality noise-cancelling headphones so you can drown them out if you need to!

Hahaha that's it hey, my lil kitties drive me bonkers sometimes, especially when they've perfected a 'meow' that sounds like they're DYING but actually they just want more treats. It really messes with my emotional state cos it tugs on my heart strings!! But wouldn't trade em for the world!! 😻

It's so hard to be able to do in modern life, but if you ever get the chance to have like, a couple weeks of just going to bed when you feel like it and waking up naturally, take it! I think it's been helpful for me to gain this understanding of my sleep needs so I can plan my life around it accordingly. Could be helpful for you to do the same for yourself!! Like did you know that for some people, it's completely natural to go to sleep for like 4 hours, wake up in the wee hours of the morning and like, potter around for a bit, then go back to bed for another 4 hours? Apparently it was quite normal in medieval times!! Main point being that even if society tells us the best thing is to sleep exactly 8 hours every night from 10pm to 6am, doesn't mean that it works that way for everyone!

They both drag me into it @Jynx. I’m the meat in the sandwich and it’s a rotten one. The last time I considered ending my life.

Furbabies are just the best! They give meaning to our lives.

A few weeks of nothing sounds amazing. My Pdoc in hospital said that people with MH issues usually require more than the recommended 8 hours. Our brains need the rest after struggling with day to day life. That’s why she has prescribed extensive sleep meds. She didn’t like that I was waking up after 7 hours so she gave me extended release sleep meds to help me stay asleep. I actually think it’s really helping. I’m having some really bad days but I am actually having some good days so that helps. Mostly I’m just struggling a little. But I’m hoping that by having some good days it means I’m starting to turn that corner

@Captain24 oh hun, I'm sorry it's so crappy to get caught up in their crap every time. Since you were a kid I'm guessing. I hope you're able to carve out some Captain-only time each day!! And of course, we're always here if ever you need a safe space to decompress or debrief from their BS.

Ain't they just!! Honestly hearing all your stories about your lil doggos absolutely gives me life 😍

Aww yay! I'm so stoked for you darlin, like yeah those crappy days still linger and it's still hard, but there's also enough of a shift that it has started feeling a lil different! Yay corner!

It’s been life long @Jynx. It’s just getting worse as time goes by. I will go to the beach every afternoon on my own. I’ll need the time out. Plus we have to have dinner one night with my brother and mum has nothing good to say about him except for when he is in the room and then it’s all against me.

I will need somewhere to vent!

I hope it’s a corner. I am working hard for it to be. I’m holding onto hope that I can actually make it to the other side. I’m kinda can see it.