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Something’s not right

I can’t cope

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

29458 replies

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In response to: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

OMG what a day @Jynx @tyme.

I had 3 Deja vu moments! I picked a glimmer. The sunset!

The task I was doing required two people. It was full on. Normally I get angry but I’m guessing my Pdoc was right by taking the anti-depressant away. I was calm and I said to myself ‘it’s ok, I can only do what I can do’ Is that being kind to myself?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Whoah.. @Captain24

Sounds like a big day!

What happened?

Maybe it's not about the anti-depressant, but it's about you being ABLE to manage in stressful situations? Come on, don't give all the credit to meds lol.

Hugs.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Oh heck yes it is @Captain24 nice one!! That's one of my go-to affirmations whenever I'm starting to get overloaded! Big kudos to you darlin!! What a phenomenal note for me to end my evening on 😊😍 Thank you for sharing!! Catch you tomorrow hopefully 😉💜

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

It was huge. @tyme. I’m tired but I’m so proud of myself. Usually I’d have said to the truckers ‘slow the fuck down!’ But no.. I just took it in my stride. They would call me and I would just calmly say that I’d be there soon. In a nice voice! Not snappy.

I have been a lot calmer since the med change. But I didn’t let myself get angry either. I maintained control!

Sorry.. I’m just a little impressed with what I managed to do. It’s like a step forward and things are falling into place. I’m hoping it keeps going this way.

I haven’t felt like this in a really long time.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Oh and what’s with this quick exit button? I’ve hit it twice now!

 

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Wow @Captain24 ,

Good on you. I wish you could somehow see how my smile appeared as your read your last message here. I know it's in you, and hence I don't want to give all the credit to meds.

Fingers crossed this continues. Is this the med change from your GP since you left the clinic?

As for the "Quick Exit" feature, it is a common MH site feature. The purpose is to allow members to close down everything with the click of a button. The idea is that this is a safety feature for those experiencing domestic violence etc.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

This is the med change from the price in there but I also did get my GP to right out the proper scripts for my current meds. Now I have instant release and XR release. I slept a lot better last night with those being right. @tyme.

Im glad I made you smile. It’s made me smile too. A genuine smile. I know recovery is not linear but maybe I’m in the right trajectory! Fingers crossed.🤞 I even journaled my day and I’m going to put it in my notes for my psych when I see her in a month. It’s awesome to know that she will be cheering for me. I felt better after her appointment yesterday. It’s so nice to have someone that cares and is on my side. She asked the hard questions but cheered on the positives. She was stoked that I had taken the dogs for a walk. It was only once but she made me see it as a positive step.

Aaahh. That makes sense. An easy out. I just have to be more careful!

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Only too exciting! It was super sunny today here in Melb. Do you think sunshine helps too? @Captain24

I can imagine when it is wet miserable weather, you'd tell anyone to effin drive properly 🙂

Today, I took the kids out for brekkie. Then, I sorted out their bikes that needed adjusting because they've grown out of them.

I was thinking to take the kids to get their bikes serviced tomorrow, but I might go on Friday instead - who knows?

Last week of their school holidays already!

I so pleased you took the dogs out for a walk - You're a winner!

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Sunshine helps me so much @tyme. I laid out in the sun yesterday and got a little burnt. Putting a bra on hurts! lol.

You know me! 😝

That sounds nice. They would have loved that. The seat changes.. we used beg dad to change them as he wouldn’t just do it.

I didn’t know you could get bikes service. I haven’t ridden a bike in over 25 years so I guess it’s changed a little.

Are you excited that they are nearly over or disappointed?

I’m really trying.

Anyway this instant release is pretty instant. I get about 30 mins after taking it so I’m going to say good night and that I hope you get to enjoy the kids tomorrow too.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Love it @Captain24 when you can knock off after 30 mins of taking the med. I had something similar in the past, but it worked in about 20 mins because I was slurring my words and pretty much dribbling from getting so sleepy lol.

I didn't know this bike had 2 services that come with the purchase. It's a bike for my 6 year old nephew and it was about $400. The bike has been sitting in the garage for months now, and I took the receipt off the bike today (it was stuck on with sticky tape), and cut off the Bike Owner's Manual that was attached to the bike. When I looked in the manual, it had the service tickets attached. My nephew can't ride the bike because I think there is a puncture in the back tyre. Hence I'm going to take it bake to the bike store.

Anyway, I'll catch you tomorrow! Rest up 🙂

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