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Something’s not right

I can’t cope

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

29384 replies

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In response to: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Hey @Captain24 ,

What time's dinner? I'm glad you were able to reach out and contact SCBS.

Did you get up to much today?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Hey @tyme

I should have contacted them last night.

I haven’t done much other than watch tv and sleep. Self inflicted though. I did go to the supermarket for some stuff for work.

Dinner is at 6 then I’ll have to go to theirs for a little while. I really do appreciate them doing it. They do care in their own way and they like to make a big fuss over it. I feel like a bitch not wanting to go but that’s just because I’m so unwell.

I did get travel calm while I was up the street so I’ve taken them to help with the feeling sick part.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Hey @Captain24 ,

Fair enough. I know they care, and you know they care... just in their own way it seems.

From what I remember, I think I did a lot of 'fake it till you make it' when I was in a bad place.

By going to dinner, I hope you get a bit of a break from your thoughts even if it doesn't feel like it.

tyme

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Hey @tyme


It’ll be good especially since I don’t have to pay for a change. 😜. Plus we will finish of with Woolies mud cake..

It will be a break because as you said I have to fake it til I make it. There will be conversation and connection which I desperately need.

I won’t be on the chat sorry.

How is Ruby doing?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

My niece taught Ruby to sit today @Captain24 It was cute.

Ruby's okay... the kids are loud and crying...

I have to agree a break away with your parents is a good change, and it will serves its purpose - for a time anyway.

What time do you think you will be back?

We will miss you on the chat tonight.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

That’s cute @tyme

That would be too much noise for me. But I’m not a big kid fan.

I think I’ll be done by 8-8:30. I have work tomorrow morning. I did get a certificate from the hospital on Sunday that covers me for tomorrow but I’d better go.

What’s been happening in your world

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Argh... @Captain24 . My world? It is what it is. A bit hectic. I still haven't made it to house sit. I'm sitting, working at my sister's place. They are going out soon so I'll be home alone with the dog. They told me to keep the dog occupied... no thanks lol.

My baby niece is cute though. Mothers Ruby a lot. She picks up all the potentially dangerous things from the floor in case Ruby eats them. She also told Ruby, "No watching!" (Ruby is not allowed to watch the ipad) lol...

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

I’m home @tyme.

It was really good. Dinner was nice. Mum and dad didn’t argue, mum didn’t put dad down, we all just got along well. When we went back to their place for cake it was the same. So it was good. They gave me a really nice jumper

I do feel sick after eating though. But I do feel sort of ok. It’s a nice feeling, I’m not fighting with myself.

Home alone sounds good. I hope Ruby is behaving herself for you. That’s so cute that the little one is so caring.

Hope the chat went well

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Hey my dear @Captain24 ,

I'm soooo pleased to hear the dinner went better than expected. I honestly can see your parents care a lot. They are probably so stressed themselves and they don't know how to show they care because they also know that you care no matter what.

It's like that 'untold love' that keeps people together.

It sounds like it was a good break for you.

Yes, Ruby was annoying. Whined the whole time during the chat.

Do you have anything planned for tomorrow?

In response to: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24 I completely understand I was/still am too scared to call the crisis lines when I go into crisis as I'm too scared they will send me back to Hospital and I know that isn't what I need but that is their "quick fix" when what I really need is support and therapy, not to put my life on hold in hospital just to come back to the same issues.
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