I can’t cope

I just got home not long ago @Captain24 ...

I visited that elderly man this morning. He was delighted. He wanted to sing some of this childhood songs to us. He spoke of his late wife, and his days as a soldier in Europe. He also spoke about his wife being a Jew and she had to change her name and be looked after by a non-Jewish family so that she wouldn't be taken.

Then we had a bit of a walk around he retirement village. He showed us his garden, vege patch, pool, lawn bowls area, BBQ area... it's was really lovely.

After, we had lunch out. I didn't eat much. Lately, I'm find food very salty. So when I bought some Mexican food, I found it so salty so I hardly ate any of it. I then bought a boost juice instead, and had some pancakes at pancake parlour... oh, and did some shopping, but couldn't find anything I liked, so I didn't buy anything...

So that's my day! Now I'm looking forward to hanging out with all of you here.

What's for dinner tonight @Captain24 ?

Sounds like you had a good day @tyme

It must have been amazing to hear those stories and for your niece as well (I didn’t realise she was 7!).

Pancakes sound good.

I got up and went for a walk this morning and then went back to bed with Pixie. It was the only place I felt I was safe. Made a call to a helpline at lunchtime and took Pixie for another walk with mum and dad. I got the skipping rope out and used it for a very short time (I’m really unfit!) Then I just laid on the lounge and I’m still there. I just can’t do life today.

Just a small amount of leftovers from last night for me tonight.

Well done on the walks and the skipping @Captain24 ! OMG, if I tried to skip, I'd cause earthquake! Actually, is skipping good for your back?

I need to practice planking. Supposedly planking is very good because it forces you to concentrate and it utilises most muscles in the body. I'll start with 30 secs lol. Don't think I could do more than that!

And yes, my niece is 7. So hanging out with her is awesome. She's got the mouth and brain of an adult. I spoil her too much. But she was upset with me today because she wanted me to buy her a little squishmallow toy, but I refused to. Instead, I bought her 8 books! I'd rather her play with stick and stones than buy ridiculous soft toys. Anyway, I did buy her 8 of those toys last year...

By the way, do you have a pool near you? I'm thinking swimming may be the best thing for your back. I remember when I had a slipped and bruised disc, swimming was the best thing - low resistance activity.

In terms of your house being 'messy', don't stress. Mine is shocking...

What are you plans for tomorrow? @Captain24 ? I've got the picture of Pixie in her stroller in my head lol. So cute.

I’ve got no plans for tomorrow @tyme other than taking her for a walk or two.

My house is the same as my head space so it’s a complete mess. Hopefully I can find motivation to clean tomorrow even if that’s all I do. I can’t even distract myself with diamond art as I just can’t get myself off the lounge to do it.

You have wedding tomorrow don’t you?

I have one achievement from today. There is a womens work function in next week and I sent an email today confirming my attendance. I was shaking when I sent it but I sent it

Kudos to you @Captain24 - I'm sure you were shivering in your boots when you accepted that invitation! Well done! That's exactly what I mean about social events - i hate them...

Oh, and the wedding is next Friday. I thought it was tomorrow, but it's next week instead. I've got another week of self-talk to get me there. I'm freaking out that I won't be sitting next to my niece.... if I have to sit alone that evening, I'm going to freak out...

But you know what? I accept it if I have to. It's another learning opportunity in life. I can't live behind a 7 year old forever.

We will just need to talk each other up to the event. When's your work event?

It’s next Friday @tyme and I’m absolutely terrified and regretting accepting.

I hope that by then I’m in a better place. As right now I’m not really ok and I need to be able to be a little social.

I love the relationship you have with your niece.

It sounds like we are both in a similar place in terms of socialising. Looks like we will just have to do it together @Captain24 . Seeing both events are on Friday, we'll just have to march in and give it our best shot.

I went to the shops to find something to wear for this wedding. As I said, I've put on so much weight that I'm struggling with decent clothes.

Do you have to 'dress up' for your event?

Let's face it, we are both anxious, we both aren't too keen on the event, we both don't know what's going to happen, we're both going on Friday... so let's just talk it through and do it!

Then we can debrief after lol. Plan?

Sounds like a plan @tyme!

I don’t think I have to dress up. They’ll be getting me in jeans and a shirt because that’s all that fits.

I’m trying to start my weight loss journey. I know what I’m doing is wrong just hope it gets the weight off and fast. I feel like it’s something I can try and control though.

I’m not doing so well and don’t know what to do.

Sorry to hear you are not doing well @Captain24 . Do you think it is still due to the meds? You've have A LOT of med changes in a very short amount of time.

I hope you will be able to note down your ups and downs and show your treating team next time so they can see how much it fluctuates.

Did you end up eating tonight? Even if it's just leftovers?

If it's sunny tomorrow, with your encouragement, I hope to go for a walk.