FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Social space

Jude’s Jungle

Jude’s Jungle

Hi there forumite friends! Welcome to the thread I’ve titled Jude’s Jungle which is basically a personal discussion thread whereby I can come and post things that are on my mind and as a safe space for me to connect and belong to. I’m a Community Guide here and have been for 2 years but this is my first time having a personal page here in the forums related specifically to me and my mental health illnesses and recovery journey.


I’ve called this area a jungle as I feel that there are parts of my mental health recovery journey and subsequent 3 mental illnesses - depression, schizophrenia and Borderline Personality Disorder- that can be scary at times and have weird yet wonderful things happen to me, kinda like animals appearing out of nowhere in a jungle of sorts and having to deal with them. There are many different things that I experience in the form of episodes and I’d line to think that by having this area, I can safely get the thoughts out and maybe feel less scared or concerned about what’s going on in my life.

Feel free to comment if you like on anything I mention here. Like I said, it’s a personal page but any comments are welcome and I appreciate your views and thoughts to things I may post.

To start things off with, I’ve included a photo of the Lego critters I made from a Lego kit I purchased yesterday afternoon after having a dream of wanting to play with and build with Lego. I was never really interested in Lego as a kid and therefore never had any Lego to play with as a child (I’m more crafty and love knitting and crochet with the occasional bit of cross stitch added for good measure although I also like drawing abstract designs and colouring them in as well to help me relax) so to buy some Lego yesterday was a real treat. I had at least an hour reading the instructions and putting together the bricks to make the creatures and was amazed at how bricks can make different creatures with cute looks! I think Lego will become part of my coping strategies tool kit selection from now on. Maybe you like using and playing with Lego yourself? Lego definitely isn’t just for kids as I discovered yesterday afternoon with the fun I had with it!

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this discussion thread!

Take care and stay safe!

Judi9877☺️💐🍀🌻

265 replies

141 - 150 of 265
1...141516...27

In response to: Jude’s Jungle

Re: Jude’s Jungle

😀👋 @Former-Member

We wrote at the same time 💖

In response to: Re: Jude’s Jungle

Re: Jude’s Jungle

heheh we did @Shaz51!! ❤️

In response to: Re: Jude’s Jungle

Re: Jude’s Jungle

Sending love @Judi9877

please be patient with yourself!

It will take time to get reacquainted with life.

All the best.

love,

Meggle

In response to: Re: Jude’s Jungle

Re: Jude’s Jungle

Sending love @Judi9877

please be patient with yourself!

It will take time to get reacquainted with life.

All the best.

love,

Meggle

In response to: Jude’s Jungle

Re: Jude’s Jungle

Hi @Judi9877

How are you today?

Thanks so much for including me & sharing your updates on life.

I'm sorry things feel a little out of place at the moment. In my observational experience this is very normal reaction when released from hospital. I hope you find that each day will become a little easier as you readjust.

How is your fluff ball Mitz? Bet they are over the moon that you are back!

Go slow & happy knitting! (I have started crocheting a curtain! Sounds odd, it is fun though)

Kind regards,

maddison

In response to: Re: Jude’s Jungle

Re: Jude’s Jungle

Good evening @maddison @Oaktree @Former-Member @Shaz51 @FloatingFeather @Appleblossom @Snowie @MDT @TAB @Jacques @Jynx @Former-Member @tyme @Former-Member @Daisydreamer @Former-Member @OscarJones @BPDSurvivor @hanami and all forumites joining me here in the jungle tonight. Welcome and thank you!

Well, it’s been a week since I’ve been discharged from hospital and whilst it’s taken some time for me to getting used to being back home, I’m pleased to say that my knitting has been a wonderful coping mechanism and has helped me immensely with readjusting to my past and current life. I’ve been working on 2 knitted blankets plus a crochet blanket as well and it’s helped to keep me focused with something to do and keep me feeling grounded with a sense of purpose as well if that’s possible. I feel calm when knitting and I like to set myself some goals when knitting the 2 blankets, namely the strip crazy blanket whereby I set myself a goal of knitting a certain amount of rows in the wool I’m knitting with such as 40 rows to make 10cm of knitting for example to make the final strip 120cm in length. As for the other blanket, which has 170 stitches on the 5mm needle, I like to set myself a goal of just knitting 5 or so rows and then go from there according to how I feel. The blanket is currently 105cm long with 55cms to be knitted to make an adult blanket and 2 strips to be attached to each side to make the blanket 120cm wide for an adult blanket for the charity I’m knitting for. See below for the photos.

 

The knitted strip below is one I completed on Monday night and it took me nearly a week to complete as I started it last Wednesday whilst waiting to be discharged from hospital. I have felt slightly disappointed in this strip for taking me so long as I was completing 2 strips in a week when I was in hospital on the psych ward as it was basically the only knitting I had to do but I also realise that I didn’t have a lot of things to do when I was in hospital in regards to wool choice and knitting needles either. Also, I was restricted to knitting between 8am and 10pm when I had to hand back my knitting each night to the night nurse as they didn’t want me staying up all night knitting. I also now realise that I was isolated to my room when I was in hospital as part of the risk and safety requirements of being in a psych ward and that made me feel lonely at times as I couldn’t associate with other patients and make connections with them because it was either knitting or socialising and I usually chose to knit. I also had periods without my phone when it was being charged at the nurses station so I had trouble with time and understanding how long I spent knitting which was confusing at times with me relying on hourly checks and asking the nurses for the time as I didn’t have a clock in my room.

When I look back on the past 3 weeks, I can see that my knitting helped me get through these weeks and I’m proud to be able to use this hobby as a coping mechanism in my mental health tool kit. I’m happy to be home and not have the knitting restrictions on me which I didn’t like but had to accept as part of being on a psych ward and unwell. Even now, I find it hard at times to be knitting past 10pm and not having meds delivered to me and to hand over my knitting. I feel like my knitting is part of who I am and I’m proud to be able to use this skill to be able to knit things like blankets for people less fortunate than myself as it gives me something to do and I get to be creative as well. Besides, I don’t have kids or relatives to knit for who appreciate my talent so knitting for charity is great that way as I know the person who receives my article will need, use and appreciate the item as they may not have received a blanket for example to keep them warm otherwise and that’s what keeps me motivated and happy and inspired to keep on going with my knitting and my crochet as well. Listening to the Lee Kernaghan audio book ‘Boy from the Bush’ has also kept me entertained as I knit whilst listening to it on my iPhone via a library service I’m a member of which I started listening to when I was in hospital as a change from listening to music and I’ve really enjoyed it.

As for other things in my life, it’s my birthday on Tuesday and I’ve purchased some new crochet hooks as a present to myself which I need so that’s a positive thing. I’m still trying to get into a leisure and health course online to do so that’s a little annoying when people don’t get back in contact with me. I know I’m better off out of hospital as I’ve got my freedoms and can’t see the need to return to hospital or even PARCS anytime soon as I’m happy being at home. I’ve got a trip planned to Echuca at the start of September with my housemate for a week which I’m looking forward to as she hasn’t been to Echuca and I haven’t been there since I was a teenager over 30 years ago so it should be a good break away. My sister is due back in Melbourne tomorrow after going on a 10 day cruise and I’m looking forward to catching up with her after not being able to contact her when she was at sea which was challenging at times but I got through it and I was able to survive not being in contact with her at times. There was a small scare when she contacted me from a Queensland island and said she had to do a rat test as there had been several cases of Covid-19 onboard to happen early today but she did the test and came back negative which was good news as several members of the cruise she got to know had contracted the illness and she was anxious about contracting it. All good though and she’s due home tomorrow sometime.

It’s time for me to go and relax with some lavender spray and my knitting - the 170 stitches blanket- so I’ll say goodnight and thanks for reading this entry.

Take care and stay safe!

Judi9877☺️💐🧶

In response to: Re: Jude’s Jungle

Re: Jude’s Jungle

Thank you for sharing your incredible story of bravery, resilience, and recovery. @Judi9877 . it melts my heart to see how far you have come.

Hugs, tyme

In response to: Re: Jude’s Jungle

Re: Jude’s Jungle

Well done with the knitting @Judi9877 you've been through a lot. You're very strong.

In response to: Re: Jude’s Jungle

Re: Jude’s Jungle

Hey there @Judi9877 thank you for always sharing your story with us.

I'm so glad you're proud of yourself for using knitting as a coping. Being able to step back and recognise this is so important and special ❤️ Are there other ways you've been coping with the change? I'm sure others would love to hear them for their own journey!

Can't wait to hear about how your trip to Echuca goes!

❤️ TuxedoCat

In response to: Re: Jude’s Jungle

Re: Jude’s Jungle

Good afternoon @Former-Member @TAB @tyme @maddison @Oaktree @Shaz51 @Former-Member @hanami @FloatingFeather @Former-Member @Daisydreamer @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @Eve7 @Snowie @MDT @Former-Member @OscarJones and everyone joining here today. Thanks for popping by!

I think I may have found 1 more thing or reason to help keep my mental health safe and happy which is in the form of working on a granny square crochet blanket for myself using a 4.25mm crochet hook. I came home from food shopping around 3pm and then picked up a crochet blanket that I’d been working on for charity whilst in hospital. Whilst that was a great thing to do and I felt good working on it, I found that I wasn’t 100% happy and therefore, it impacted on how I was feeling towards the blanket - a bit negative to be honest like it was all for the charity and nothing for me. That’s when I realised that I had started a crochet blanket for myself back at my last PARCS admission in June and decided to pick that up and work

on it instead. Instantly I noticed a big change in my mood and mental state as I went from feeling negative and awful for the charity blanket to feeling happy, worthy and in a great mood mentally for the blanket I had chosen to work on just for me. This showed to me that sometimes, you have to put yourself first and do something special for yourself and not feel bad about doing so. I’d spent plenty of time over the past week working on knitted blankets for charity that I’d forgotten about myself and doing something just for me which was in turn, making me feel negative towards the charity I was knitting and crocheting for and that wasn’t a nice set of feelings that I enjoyed. I love creating blankets for the charity as I get to be creative and I know that each blanket I create is unique and different and therefore special for the recipient which is great and all but this afternoon, I found that I was missing a valuable part of the mental health wellness and recovery jigsaw puzzle and that piece happened to be taking care of who is important and that person happened to be me and my needs. In doing things for others, I’d forgotten about me and that wasn’t fair or acceptable in my eyes as it was in turn, making me miserable. See below for the photo of my crochet blanket.

I am pleased to say that I’m in a much better headspace mentally now and feel a lot happier within myself. I’m glad I found the blanket to work on and am really enjoying working on it. I’ve got some extra wool for the blanket that I found in my collection to add to the blanket so I’ve got a lot more wool to make the blanket a reasonable size just for me. I know I had a rough time at PARCS recently but I’m also glad that something good has come from the experience in the form of this blanket and has been able to help me out this afternoon.

I’ve been listening to some Lee Kernaghan country music whilst working on this blanket and there is a song that stands out which is called ‘Like Angels’. It’s basically about going through rough and tough times knowing that in the end, the times will pass and you will fly like angels as you work your way through it as the bad times don’t last. It’s sort of like the Angel vs Devil thing with the devil being the bad times and trying to drag you down and keep you down whilst the angel is there in the background cheering you on and telling you that deep down, you are tough and strong and you can win and defeat the devil - it’s just a matter of hanging in there and sticking it out knowing that you will win in the end. I have personally fallen in love with the song and have added it to my positive music playlist on my Apple Music playlist on my iPhone as a reminder to play it when I feel like things are getting hard to handle and I feel like giving up. I know that deep down, I am strong and tough because I keep on waking up each day and somehow get through it, even if there are times that the day seems never ending but yet, I somehow live through the day to make it to the end and that’s a massive achievement in itself.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been admitted to hospital and put up with life as a psych patient with knitting restrictions put on her yet I’ve come through that experience feeling a lot better within myself even if it was boring at times and that shows me that in my jungle, I let the angel win over the devil that was my sick mental state and I got through it. I’m still here and things have improved for me mentally. The sleep is still an issue but I’m dealing with it to the point of possibly accepting that I may continue to have sleep issues for sometime yet until something gets sorted out. That’s a small price to pay for being happy once again after the year I’ve had so far with my mental health.

It’s time for me to go and order in some dinner. I’m thinking of chicken and mushroom risotto from the local pasta restaurant as it always makes me feel good once I’ve eaten it. I’ve got plans with my housemate to make chicken risotto this coming weekend as it’s meant to be cold and windy down here in Melbourne. Definitely a weekend to curl up with some craft like my knitting or crochet and keep warm in bed! I’m also thinking of making tacos for dinner tomorrow night as well so plenty of good things planned in my life and that should keep my jungle happy, settled and satisfied. That’s the plans at least! Thanks once again for reading this entry.

Take care!

Judi9877☺️💐🧶🌻

141 - 150 of 265
1...141516...27