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A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

I have had a rough week

I have had to come to terms with trauma from my teens. I don't think I have come to terms with it just yet. But I feel that I have started to accept it. For a long time I had denied it. I had also been conscious of over medicalising it.

But I don't believe it is medical to call things trauma. It just is what it is. Trauma doesn't need to be medical.

I must not invalidate my own experience. I must be compassionate to myself. I must ground my compassion in the reality of my own experience. I can't lie to myself and I can't cherry pick or manipulate the truth.

Content/trigger warning
trigger warning

I was emotionally manipulated as a teen by religious people and in particular one man in his 60s who i confided in with regard to very personal things.

This started because of my sister's illness when I was a kid and I had to grow up pretty quickly. I turned into a religious zealot at such a young age and it manipulated my self worth and my self value.

This is something I have come to terms with as I have gotten older.

Healing is always always possible. But having an understanding of what the thing is that has caused me grief or trauma in the past is key. I believe I now have.

I have heard it said that we only really come to terms with things from the past at a later stage - for me it looks like almost 10 years.

I've always been a high functioning person but what I haven't been is high performing. I guess I have answer now - the thing holding me back was never clearly articulated. I booked in to see my psych earlier than i had anticipated since last session.

Its a complex beast and I believe the more i work at understanding it the more i will be able to tame it.

The sun still rises and it sets just the same.

Last week working at the election was interesting because everyone i spoke to there was struggling at some level and had put an end to the things that bought them grief or trouble. I was the same.

I must learn to stop comparing myself to those around me now of a similar age or experience level or whatever. We all have our trauma and our history. It's just that some are more capable of hiding it. OR maybe some are fortunate enough to not have it. I mean its life isn't it? It is what it is.

Compare myself to who i was. That is when true growth begins

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In response to: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

Re: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

@MDT I've never heard of Christopher Hitchens, will look him up.


@MDT wrote:
Be free 🙂

Thanks, I like this very much 🙂

Thinking of you as you deal with your religious trauma and wishing you all the best...

In response to: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

Re: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

I've realised just how much baggage there is

I was out and I couldn't handle it anymore.

Just at my old uni now chilling in the night here. It's a bit of piece and quiet but I can hear noise in the background

I feel so much right now


In response to: Re: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

Re: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

@oceangirl over here these days

In response to: Re: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

Re: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

Still going.
Still finding answers.
Doing alright.
Just gotta be better to myself

In response to: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

Re: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

Update on where I am at now

- Still working on my applications to go overseas and study. It's really taking it out of me but I have a good letter to write to them. Had been getting help from the team.
- I have looked at my options if that doesn't eventuate and have some ideas written down but i can't do any of them til i find an answer for the above option
- in the mean time i need to try and live my life but there is so much pressure to
- i feel a huge sense of regret for the past number of years, regardless of the fact that I know I don't need to be. CBT is hard at that point.
- I have really got a hold of the things that have made me addicted or fixated and i've realised just how many coping mechanisms I have had
- i feel depressed but have no one really to talk to irl because everyone around me is either too immature or has their own issues or whatever..

There is a bit of anger I think, but way less than what was once there.

Maybe the gods are teaching me patience in this time of my life

But also to take ownership.

I have been broadening my horizons socially despite not having work and maybe in the end things will pay off.

I need to learn to be better to myself in both deed and thought.

Hopefully I can see the girl I was hanging out with a week or so ago. I was honest about my intentions and have not been shunned.

I wrote this the other day and it could be one of the best things I've ever written

"Regrets and fantasies are equally dangerous, for they are both taken from the same vine - the vine that wants what it can't have and what has already gone."

Something I must medidate on

@TAB @Former-Member @Former-Member @Appleblossom @NatureLover @Jessie21 @tyme @Former-Member @BlueBay @chibam @Gwynn @AussieRecharger @Clawde @Eve7 @Historylover

Tagging some forumites I haven't spoke to for a while

In response to: Re: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

Re: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

My friend in her early 20s was telling me just the other day that there's so much pressure on your 20s to be the best years of your life, but you have no idea what you're doing most of the time and you're trying to do it all - all this with insecure work, no real path to secure housing, and having stable relationships??? Don't make me laugh!

When my grandmother was 21, she had two kids already!

@MDT, you're not alone in finding your 20s not all they're cracked up to be. I may have cracked a bad joke about body parts sagging but confidence going up as you age, but it caught her by surprise and she had a good laugh about it.

Sounds like you've got a plan. 🙂

In response to: Re: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

Re: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

Thank you for sharing @MDT,

You seem to have a very balanced view.

Good on you @MDT . I think it's great to leave your options open, and know that if one option falls through, there's always another - it's okay. It's a part of life.

All the best with your applications.

Take care,

tyme

In response to: Re: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

Re: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

Thank you @tyme @Gwynn for your wisdom and support

Onwards we go hey

In response to: Re: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

Re: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

Over here these days @StuF

In response to: Re: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

Re: A rough week - coming to terms with the past trauma

Hey @MDT

I always do this to you it seems- I'm off to bed, sorry.

I'll read through this thread tomorrow and respond after 🙂

(I'll be sitting around all morning so will have plenty of time then)

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