First post

Welcome to the forums @alwk .

I am sorry to hear how tough things are for you at the moment.

It is so brave of you to reach out. I hope you will find connection and insight into your circumstances as the community shares their experiences with you.

All the best,

tyme

I really appreciate the support.
The fear I am experiencing for the people I love is so difficult and not knowing how to help or react.

Welcome to the Carer's forum @alwk

Wish it did not have to be so hard.

I know the fear for loved ones, and endless self questioning, about when to STEP UP and take action and when to step back. In some ways things are probably more clear as to how to be for your husband.

Your son really needed you and you were there.

For me, I find I have to calm myself down from my fears about my son, more often than swing into action. Its hard, am learning about boundaries and really bad at it, but they need them too.

Working out when they are well enough for light duties, and to up the expectations, or let go.

I hope the hospital can help your son and give him ongoing support and some outlet as he probably has feelings about dealing with cancer in the family.

Caring aint for sissies.

Thank you

your reply really resinated with me especially the calming my fears more then stepping into action.

I am seeking help with some counselling to support my feelings as well.

Welcome to the forums @alwk

I'm glad you are seeking counselling for yourself. It sounds like there is so much on your plate at the moment and it's important to look. after your own mental health. Reach out to us whenever you need. I'll also link Carer Gateway here that you might find of some help.

sending hugs

hanami 💮

Thank you for recommending carer gateway. It’s funny I work in aged care and recommend carer gateway to people most days of the week but I didn’t look at myself as a carer. I think because I’m not having to give the physical support but more emotional. I have tried to take care of my own mental health but have struggled at times. I take on the family’s problems and put myself last. I am trying to change this view of myself but I get busy and forget about myself a lot.
I have set up an rdo at work and use this day to pamper myself not used to help family.

Hi @alwk

From what other 'carers' have told me, they also often don't consider themselves as carers, particularly when it's not physical support but emotional. Setting up an RDO to practice self-care is an amazing idea!

hanami 😘

Thanks I have just changed jobs and I did has this set up in my past role but unfortunately this is g possible in my new role but I can take time anytime I need. Work life balance so much better.