Help

Thanks so much for your support. Unfortunately even though the convictions were back in 1989, even when I went to court about traffic infringements all of my convictions were bought up by police prosecutor. She also reported me to a helpline a lot of years back saying she was in fear for her life. I have never threatened her in any way let alone physically. Her mental issues go back to her family who used to sit her down and lecture her till she broke down in tears. Would love to chat some time. Thank you so much!!

What goes down in intimate relationships and problems with Domestic violence physical or emotional is complicated. Its very sad there are so many battles of the sexes. The older I get, it seems evryone faces mental health issues. Pity the support has not been there re mensline etc

Hello @Rodriguez

Welcome to the forums. It certainly sounds like you are the one being abused. I understand about the end of times thing. My best friend is always talking about it too. I think she is a bit crazy so I just listen and don’t take it too seriously. She is crazy but harmless. I don’t have any advice for you. 30 years is a long time together and I am sure that you care for your wife and don’t really want to walk away. If she is abusing you though you may not have a choice in the long run. You have to think about whether you want your daughter’s to think that this is a normal way to treat a husband. Do you want them to treat their husbands the way your wife is treating you?

As you say the situation is complicated especially with your old convictions. It’s a pity that your past follows you so long afterwards. I am sorry that you are in this difficult situation and I hope that you come to some sort of resolution soon.

Meggle

Thank you xo

Thanks for sharing

Hi Rodriguez,

Sorry to hear that this is happening to you.

Has your wife always been stressed, or is this something new?

It certainly doesn't excuse abusive behaviour on her behalf and the impact that this can have on your mental health- as well as the kid's needs to be taken very seriously.

I know from experience that I was in an abusive relationship for 5 years, and it left me completely broken.

In the end, there was absolutely nothing I could to to save the relationship as my partner wouldn't take any responsibility for his actions.. it was always 'me' that was the problem. It was very pathological.. cohesive control, manipulation, gaslighting, narcissistic. I'm not a professional, but i have learned an incredible amount about toxic relationships and abuse. I suggest you consider looking up narcissistic abuse.

If you believe that's what you could be experiencing, you need to seriously get out, as fast as you can- not just for your sake, but for the children's sake.

If you need to talk, you're welcome to message any time.

All the best.

Hi @Rodriguez and sorry to hear of your situation.

It is tough and I have been living through a similar situation for almost 15 years.

Perhaps the key lesson that I have learned, which may help you too, is to accept that it is primarily your wife's problem. No doubt, this is hard for her.

I was accepting the truth in my wife's accusations and often blamed myself for not doing the right things for my wife. I beat myself up and it affected my health - physical and mental.

This forum will assist in providing you a safe haven for you to get perspective and vent.

It may also help if you can remember to take care of you as well as your wife.

Hi. I am unsure how objective I can be, but maybe a little empathic and supportive.

I have been married to my wife for 21 years & we have 1 daughter who is 20.

My wife has Asperger's Syndrome. It has not been an easy ride. For most of our marriage we have rented. Everywhere we have been she has got in trouble with neighbors. This is because she has no idea what is appropriate behaviour or inappropriate behaviour. I won't go into these details. We are now in our own home which I inherited from my parents.

Since moving here I have not been happy and very depressed . My wife has got worse. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I am hardly allowed to do anything. I own a home and have the smallest part of it. Recently she has been doing what I call, " Throwing hand grenades at me. " Without me doing anything wrong, she will have a go at me. She is also very controlling. Everything has to be her way. I was quite I annoyed a few weeks back when' a report was shown on the News of a booklet about Women being treated Subversive by Men. Whilst this is undeniably true, there does not seem to be any consideration that the opposite applies at all. Which it does. Not as much perhaps, but it does happen.

I have finally got onto a Psychologist after mine passed away last year. My appointments are are only phone calls, but do last an hour. Only 1 so far but she seems okay. She says I am definitely subject to Subversive behaviour and worse.