Not a great person to be around..

Hey @Ugly_Trout

Hearing you about how it can be discouraging to not make connections, despite putting yourself out there and trying, like itn meetups....

I have felt like a freak and been very isolated.

Your family probably do not want for you to feel bad about being with them. If you are using it as a bit of time out and working out where you start and they finish, it is probably a good idea, but do not punish yourself by pushing them out of your life ... try and find a balance in it ...

Hey @Ugly_Trout

Hearing you about how it can be discouraging to not make connections, despite putting yourself out there and trying, like in meetups....

I have felt like a freak and been very isolated. It is important to "lose" bad labels about your self.

Your family probably do not want for you to feel bad about being with them. If you are using it as a bit of time out and working out where you start and they finish, it is probably a good idea, but do not punish yourself by pushing them out of your life ... try and find a balance in it ...

hi @Appleblossom

I'm using it as a time out I guess. I've stopped sharing so much with them over the past year. Keeping up appearances. For some reason though I started this week on the weekend letting them know I'm not well. Then I felt like I was being a self indulgent child. Especially when I think backwards to times in the past 6 years where I have been happier. I forget about tools. I am the only one who can make the changes re exercise and self care. Yet at the moment I just feel overwhelmed and like the local community is laughing/judging me. Which shouldn't matter as they don't really know me nor I them. But it does matter to me. I would like to go down to the shop and not have people start laughing for no other reason than seeing me. It's so hard to find proof they're not, I can't really question them.

I'm also awake more than I'm asleep by a large margin. So that's not helping. I'm hoping I can change my self talk to more positive things. It's just kinda set on down at the moment.

Hey @Ugly_Trout Don’t let others take the fight out of you. Your concern for your family tells me you have a lot of care and compassion for others and that’s worth a whole lot. Only people who have truly suffered understand this and I feel anyone with mental health issues are more awakened than we give ourselves credit for. To me, self love involves looking after myself physically emotionally and spiritually as best I can. Some days are harder than others but that’s okay. Noticing negative self talk and switching it to positive is the key. Stand tall and proud for having the awareness of other peoples feelings, a beautiful quality many humans lack. Breathe calmly and float by those you feel are laughing at you and just go about your day. What other people think of you is none of your business. Let your light shine and this will attract the right people into your life. I wish for you, peace of mind. 🙏

The secret to self care and love you ask, @Ugly_Trout? Oh how I wish there were a secret, a special ingredient or trick to it. Here's my take on self love, feel free to absorb only what resonates with you and discard anything that doesn't...

For many years I really struggled with showing myself love and kindness. It was a process that was very slowly hard won, largely through psychotherapy, but also a few key areas such as:

• Finding a meaningful life goal – this was a real game changer because I finally had direction and a reason to back myself
• Moving away from those who weren't able to show me love and kindness – spending time with people who, for whatever reason, weren't capable of being kind meant I was no longer subject to their pain and criticism
• Seeking professional support – finding a skilled therapist who held up the mirror each week and reflected care back to me was pivotal. I'll also add that having to front to twice weekly sessions taught me a lot about structure and routine
• Helping others – by offering care to others I'm always needing to make sure that I give that same care to myself to prevent burnout. If I don't do this, I can't help others...this one really keeps me accountable to my self-care
• Getting in touch with my emotions – giving myself permission to feel is a true demonstration of self-care

Those are just a few tips from my personal toolbox, @Ugly_Trout. I'm wondering if you can identify any of your own that you might be using at present. Would love to hear your thoughts!

Rhye ☘️

@Ugly_Trout

I used to feel paranoid about the general community or the people down at the local shops or in my street. I see it more as existential insecurity more than any of their attitudes to me. When we are isolated and see so many people moving around we can make the space between them & us bigger than it really is. Some of them are chatting and seem happy, but dont fall for the everyone is happier than me line. They are all struggling. Yes there are some bullies out there and people who mock others, but most people are just going about their business and barely aware of the people they pass by. Many of them are lonely too, or stressed like mad.

The other day I went checking out exercise stuff and bikes with my son and we had a great time. The sales staff seemed to want to talk and be real .. dont know if its post covid reaction or what ... but they were satisfying human encounters all round ...

It is a long journey from being a child to separate adult, we make some transitions quickly and others are very gradual. Then there are the benefits of being real and authentic and the benefits of keeping up appearances ... it all depends on circumstances. Maybe you are experimenting with a range of things ...

@MDT @Krishna @Former-Member @Appleblossom

Thanks for your input. I had to go down to the chemist today, so I just went. I'm writing this over an hour of being home and I can still feel 'it'. I have the 6-2-4 breathing technique and I try to think positive things when I'm doing them. Sometimes it can help. Thanks for the advice re techniques. And for the kind words. I did a check in this morning so at least I'd had a shower before I went out:
). I really need to ignore other people. Not be so hyper aware of my surroundings. I'm working on it's no business of mine. A tricky one though. Thanks.

Hey @Ugly_Trout Yep breathing helps hahaha and so does smiling as it releases feel good hormones and sometimes you might even get a smile returned. I like to smile even when I’m hurting inside and it sort of makes me realise things I’m grateful for. Doing a workshop tomorrow on meditation and sound healing so stepping out of my comfort zone spending a whole day with a bunch of total strangers. Quite anxious about it but also looking forward to the relaxation of the experience. Have a relaxing evening and take good care of yourself 🙏