Just been reading some of your thread @creative_writer on 'Feel like I'm drowning'.
I'm sorry to see how much stress, trauma responces, the migraine and being physically wiped out you've been.
It's a tough life living with trauma.
Never mind regrets or no 'closure'. Experiences unsaid, and which possibly never can be, with the 'right' person anyway.
I hear you on that. Got a few things I'd love to work through with the 'right' people.
Have you written down how you think the conversations might go? I've done it a few times and it's either freeing or allows more feelings through.
Just do what feels safe for you.
I know I can and do shut people down by intense quick reactions. It depends on the situation. Some find it comforting.
One of my problems ( from occasional outbursts when I feel trapped or over powered by ableist people) is
I react briefly but straight away, to acknowledge them in some way. It shuts down people from saying more.
Even simple things like
How are you?
Good thanks (automatic reply)
Oh good! Or Oh yeah? (Tell me more)
They tell me more.
Especially when they can't see me nodding, and I can't see them because we're on phone or chat,
I exclaim Yes! / Yes or Oh good (on you)! Or Oh No!
That intensity can shut people down from continuing.
Just before, from reading your experiences, I just threw out some things that were valid and understandable, but came from anger, feeling unheard, fear and resentment.
I feel a bit better. Maybe visitors will notice the change?
I'm lying on my seat. I'm tiring and need to lay down.
Take care.