I think I've been misdiagnosed

Hello @Okapi I could not see any faux pas in your post.

If you have been through the process, and the psychologist could not convince you of their decision, you do not have to take on the BPD diagnosis, if it does not feel like a fit. Time will tell. There are many people who do not get a diagnosis that seems right until a lengthy period of time has elapsed. Usually those assessments are fairly short in duration, so they may not really know you, beyond doing a battery of tests. BPD can be very confronting and yes is known to have stigma. Originally it was a category between neurotic and psychotic ... borderline. You probably knew that being proactive and a researcher.

Generally I am skeptical about diagnosis, despite apparent clarity in dsm criteria. I see a lot more nuance and spectrums than most people.

I know someone who paid for her Autism diagnosis and it seemed the process was just dotting the i's. Feeling for you in not getting what you thought you were paying for.

My son was diagnosed as aspie and his doctor said chances were his parents were. Now, I self identify as aspie. My current pdoc has 2 possible diagnoses for me, but not interested in aspie Dx. He is not really sure himself, and calls it a differential diagnosis, and he has seen me for a few years. He knows human beings are complicated.

You can get a 2nd opinion, but that becomes very expensive. Was the person a specialist in Autism? Are they insistent? can you leave it as ... just their opinion. Not sure what Psychological association says about such things.

Anybody else .. any experience or advice ...

In the mean time ... take care of you. You matter. Your worldview matters.

thank you @Appleblossom , your reply made me smile. Appreciate your validation.

I hadn't got to the history of bpd yet so thanks for that factoid about its origins - that's really interesting.

I feel seen by your comments on the diagnostic process. I really don't feel like I got what I paid for - and am shocked that she could make a call from just 3 hours with me on zoom and a few forms. It feels like she's slapped on a label and hasn't given me any information or care in the process.
And I actually chose her because she has lived experience as a late dx neurodivergent person so I thought she would be compassionate about the process and the hellish mental health system.

I also started looking into autism because we are having my daughter assessed currently. I can see now why there is acceptance of self-identification in the community. Diagnosis is whack. I swore off clinical psychology a loooong time ago and this experience hasn't really improved my opinion. (With absolutely no shade to anyone who has found healing in the system or with their diagnosis - i think whatever works for a person is 100% the right thing).

Morning @Okapi and welcome to the forums 😊

It's great to see the wonderful @Appleblossom was gracious in sharing some advice with you around this diagnosis, and I loved hearing that by doing so they made you feel seen and heard 💙

I'm not sure there is a bunch more I can add to this, beyond echoing the possibility of seeking a second opinion. I can also say that my treating doctor did not/would not diagnose me until she had seen me over a course of sessions. That said, I believe certain clinical psychologists, like neuropsychologists, do diagnose to a criteria and that may happen a little quicker. Either way, it certainly wouldn't hurt to hear a second opinion, if that's what you'd feel more comfortable with.

I know the cost of diagnosis can be quite prohibitive, and I was wondering whether reaching out to your GP for a referral to a psychiatrist who may not charge too prohibitively above the medicare rebate may be an idea? Or even just having an initial chat with your GP about how you feel surrounding this diagnosis and whether they can make any recommendations.

I'm sorry you've felt a bit blindsided by this experience, and that you dipped into your savings too (double sting). I also want to honour the self-respect you have by 1. reaching out for guidance and 2. honouring your feelings around receiving the diagnosis. It can be a tough road, but it sounds like you're a great advocate for yourself 😊

In terms of house keeping for new members, you can tag a moderator like this @moderator or any other members with an @ before their username. You're also more than welcome to introduce yourself here, and this post is a great one to read when you're starting out in the forums.

I'm also going to tag some of our community guides and members here who really know their way around our community:
@Shaz51 @HenryX @MDT @outlander @maddison @ShiningStar @outlander @AussieRecharger @TAB @Bunniekins @StuF @Bow @Emelia8 @petrichor @RedHorse @Clawde @Gwynn

I hope you find the SANE forums community to be a happy and supportive place!

Rhye ☘️
Peer Support Worker, Forums

Hi @Okapi ,

Welcome to the forums.

I'm afraid I can really only echo others- get a second opinion (if you feel it might be useful and you can). I don't think it's wrong to question these things. Especially after a zoom diagnosis (which I understand might be the only current option unfortunately).

Otherwise, good on you for taking an active role in your own diagnosis and recovery.

Also, for coming in here and sharing your story and asking questions.

I hope someone else (perhaps with more experience in BPD diagnosis- or any contentious diagnosis I guess) has more to offer.

Hi @Okapi

I got a Dx of bpd from a clinical psychologist once when I was very young.

No other psych, I've seen may e 6, ever gave me that dx or agreed with it,

I think getting that dx is difficult , and complex. I do put have it o my file anywhere now and ha f e had a psychological assessment with a diff psych as well as item 291 with a bpd specialist....they didn't find I had this dx.

It doesn't have to be binding what one clinical psychologist says, and I feel for u and relate to getting a dx that u don't relate to.

I'm sorry u had that awful experience, and hope u find support that gets u and sees u

Glad I helped lighten the Dx bump. @Okapi

3 hours on zoom is not enough IMHO. Perhaps she was not sufficiently aware of her own blind spots re the aspie situation ... too personally invested to see you properly.

I am motivated to speak out about services rendered and paid for that do not hit the mark ... a bit activist about it, cos more than once bitten and seen many loved ones bitten.

I have often put in effort to select a MH professional, or waited long periods for a service and then been dealt stigma rather than any proper treatment of referral. My son put in his due diligence also, and was sadly disappointed, so now I am forewarned, but it has taken me 50 years ... weary sigh.

Nah ... dont take the BPD diagnosis to heart unless it starts to fit in 10 years ... professionals need to be very careful giving out that label nowadays. I learned that factoid ... 40 years ago ... trying to get to the bottom of the difference between neurosis and psychosis.

This is so me ... its terrible. lol

Cheers

Hi @Okapi ,

Firstly, welcome to the forums, and thank you for reaching out.

I can see how confusion can come out of diagnoses and misdiagnoses. For starters, there can be co-morbid conditions. There may be elements of ASD and BPD, and the levels of intensity of traits very day to day, making a one-day assessment sort of.... less reliable?

I too have had a misdiagnosis. I was diagnosed and medicated for one condition, and 10 years later told - "no, you've got BPD". But where it varies to you, is that I had every trait of BPD to different degrees. There were some traits of BPD i thought, "no, that's not me", but when I looked deep into the underlying factors of my behaviour, in fact, it was a different form of the trait. For example, 'fear of abandonment' is a trait of BPD. At that time, I hated being around people, so I thought "No way! I hate being with people. Why would I possibly have a fear of abandonment?" Years later, when I learnt more about myself, I realised I hated being around people because the hurt associated with being 'abandoned' by them was so great, that I preferred to be alone - hence I thought I didn't fear abandonment.

Ultimately, whatever the label or diagnosis, consider the goal of having that label. Is the purpose simply to find out you have 'something'? Is it so that you can seek therapy? is it so you can explain your challenges?

Once you understand the purpose of having a diagnosis, you can decide which label you want, or have a dual diagnoses, or have neither label.

Hope that somewhat helps!

tyme

Thanks so much to everyone for these supportive and thoughtful responses.
Im so glad I reached out and feel much less adrift about it all.

@tyme i really appreciate you sharing your experience of bpd. It's really interesting to hear different interpretations of the criteria - I've been taking that fear of abandonment one quite literally and it doesn't resonate at all for me. But could apply to a few relationships in my 20s. I'll keep asking questions I guess.

your comment about the goal of dx is really pertinent. With the Asd I felt like I was gaining an insight into how I interact with the world, how my brain works and how to look after myself better.
the bpd dx on the other hand, feels like more of the same explanations and treatments I've been had on repeat my whole life and it's been consistently miserable. Layers upon layers of trying to change my behaviour and thoughts in an effort to get "better".
not sure if that makes sense but it's a work in progress.

So appreciative of all the perspectives!

@Apples Lol at that comic. Lord the amount of research I've done on parenting! All based on neurotyoical kids which I'm pretty sure my kid isn't!

When you say you speak out about unsatisfactory services, what do you mean by that? Have you ever spoken to a clinician directly?

I'm trying to figure out if fits worth contacting that psych with my concerns...