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Something’s not right

Another day being attacked by the world.

Another day being attacked by the world.

This morning i woke up and i set my thoughts on believing in jesus christ.

I kept on thinking over and over - jesus christ, jesus christ.

However the voices in my head keep on saying other things and then i keep seeing images, water running, pictures of seeds being poured out, cars and bikes.

It seems like i'm believing in christ to the best of my ability, but whats inside me refuses to cooperate.

What is it inside me? i don't know. but i keep being harrassed by the word rich. I'm surrounded by people who believe in richmond, and it's all because of ties.

2 Days ago i threw some leftover seeds over near the school, within 16 hours some woman has left a bag in the same location. I looked in the bag, there was a police evidence bag and a police charge sheet, her name was rachel from endeavour hills. strange, because i've been buying some of the seeds from endeavour hills. There was also a tie in there with a flower motif and made by a company 'boysomething'.

Then today. I make my tea again and i'm drinking it and i see drive past a blue car with richmond stickers on it. I went out and had a look, the woman is wearing a thailand shirt.

rich and ties and stickers. it feels like it's all a work of the devil. the devil, rich, the riech, ties, thailand, buddhism, budget cars and budget insurance and the bed. it seems like hes trying to stick his name on everything, get into people, ride them.

Have you noticed how all those mel gibson movies are connected to richard. richard donner. danny glover. because i had some rubber gloves given to me by my mum and i put them on the bed. so you get danny glove-man. and of course thats where the word con-do comes from and the rubber is why budget insurance is playing ads about riding bikes with rubber tyres on peoples furniture.

gee how i'm sick of living in a sinful world. am i the only person who sees the truth, or are there others who have to put up with these sinful things being done to them all the time.

i don't believe in cons piracy theories but i'm sure it's all a setup.

all i want to do is believe in jesus christ.

but everyday i get another damned rich or rach or rice, or rio because of the bonds and the ties and tieland and his neurone bikes, because he wants to e your neurons and ride your furniture. must be why they call it motor neuron disease. Wants to get into your mnd. gaslighting, pfft.
Tomorrow morning i'll wake up again and keep on thinking about christ. Will he save me from this misery?

15 replies

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In response to: Another day being attacked by the world.

Re: Another day being attacked by the world.

Hi @MattsOpinion, seems to be a lot going through your mind at the moment. If you feel like chatting to someone about it, feel free to reach out to the SANE Help Centre on 1800 18 7263.

Warmly,

Pinemushroom

In response to: Re: Another day being attacked by the world.

Re: Another day being attacked by the world.

Thanks. Yes it's always like that, i think too much, but then it feels like it helps me understand problem. If only there was a way of solving it.

I'll call if needed, though i'm ok at the moment.

Just disappointed. Just wanted to type out whats going on.

In response to: Another day being attacked by the world.

Re: Another day being attacked by the world.

Hello @MattsOpinion. How are you? Seems like there's a lot going on for you. Funny how things seem to be so coincidental sometimes, isn't it? I'm pleased you were able to express your thoughts. That helps sometimes, but try to give yourself a break now.

Really try to relax @MattsOpinion. Sending best wishes.

In response to: Re: Another day being attacked by the world.

Re: Another day being attacked by the world.

yeh your right. i tend to worry too much, i'm always concerned about whether people are getting the kind of life they deserve, whether things are 'right' and just. But its sort of a good distraction away from hearing voices and the sleep problems. but yeh, to relax. i used to be the best at just chilling out, but now i'm wound up too tight.

Have you got any history sites you recommend or that make for interesting reading? I kind of like those "this day in history" things, but most of them i've looked at aren't in-depth enough.

In response to: Re: Another day being attacked by the world.

Re: Another day being attacked by the world.

No, unfortunately I don't have any sites to read about history @MattsOpinion. History had never been of interest to me at school, but when I was salving my isolation wounds at the library years ago, I chanced upon beautifully illustrated history books. That was what got me started learning more, and I stayed with it for a long time before moving onto other subjects. I just became 'addicted' to learning and having another go at subjects I had difficulty with at school. I found that I was a better teacher of myself than those I had at school. There's something so satisfying and rewarding about finding you can do things you would not have considered possible before. I wish I had started earlier, but I guess it's better late than never. But just have a search online. You will have much to choose from I'm sure. Youtube is a fabulous resource for widening our knowledge on any subject.

So you're into gardening? Me too. I've seen some delightful videos of Monty Don. He's such a pleasure to listen to. Gardening Australia is an excellent program too.

How are you feeling today, @MattsOpinion ? Do you have any plans? There's not much going on here, but I'm sure I will be able to find something to do. I hope you can too – or perhaps, just take it slow – and relax. Cheers, my friend. I hope today is a much better day for you.

In response to: Re: Another day being attacked by the world.

Re: Another day being attacked by the world.

Today has started off an an awful day just like every other day. Sorry to let down those people who want to be supportive but i'm over it.

I wake up and lie there with my eyes closed. I keep seeing closed eye visuals. flashes of random things.

Then the voices start and this is what they say

"He hacked her, he changed her memories, he's hacked her memories, he knows he's done it, she's laughing, he hacked his gift, he knows tom, he makes le stat, he's hacked her code" and this just continues on for hours.

i consider it to be the devil. they wants to hack my cards, my wallet, my car, my bed, my teddies, etc.

and i think this stuff is playing out in the real world. it results in all these richmond people showing up, and i hate rich. it's a connection between tigers and water - tigers are bad cats. aka cat fishing.

and i see it all in the real world. https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life . the article about renae being catfished. the article about Sarma Melngailis, real lives are being ruined because of hackers. and god expects me to just sit by and watch people having their lives ruined everyday because he can't fix the problem.

The voices i hear always say "he did this" or "he did that", i keep on seeing rich and rach everywhere. even on mafs is the woman he-in-rich. the man who tried to interrupt renaes life zeidan, a derivation of aidan,nidan,brendan, etc. and aidan is in rich, that i know. otherwise it might be brad who is also suspect but i guess all this was always going to happen since the says of aids and michael jackson and live aid concert. bob geldoff, bob hawke. bobapop tea. poppy tea. the pope. its all a setup.

sorry to ramble... but there is a point to my message, information, that leads to solving the problems.

the voices he 'he knows his feet, he knows his sole'.

i gotta get the house clean, and it's the last thing i feel like doing after hearing voices all morning and knowing that as soon as i go out strange things will start happening.

really theres no hope. i thought christ would fix everything, my belief in jesus is what keeps me going and what keeps me stable and happy but he doesn't seem able to stop this problem. what pills should i order to get it over and done with god?

i'll try and post a better message later.

In response to: Re: Another day being attacked by the world.

Re: Another day being attacked by the world.

@MattsOpinion

I get the intensity and distress that can be hard to calm down when our minds are overstimulated. I also get that sometimes it can help solve things in real life. For me it seems about the level, sometimes the mental cogs are just whirling out fo control, sometimes it can creative and almost part of a rap or even poetry ... I guess biochemically its partly about cascades of hormones generated by fear or trauma ...and the Fight Fright Flight Freeze ... and all that ...

Over the years I have used different things to try and still my mind ... an image of a flame or other icons or religious images ...a mantra ... a poem ... a serenity prayer ...a decade of the rosary .. or a song ... sometimes my pesky mind is running wild ... or like a runaway freight train ... on its set tracks ....Nowadays I do not struggle too much with it, but accept where me and my mind are at.

When there are many experiences that may have been hurtful or may generate angry or vengeful thoughts in a reaction to past trauma I try and accept the anger and work with it as pure energy to get things done iin the garden.

To be honest I liked your post. It felt strangely familiar and poignant, there was wit and humour, and it was uniquely yours. It was engaged in a moral struggle and yearning for social justice.

In response to: Re: Another day being attacked by the world.

Re: Another day being attacked by the world.

Sorry @MattsOpinion I just posted before your most recent post went live.

It really is a mixed up world. I wish it were better too. That is part of the reality check tho. There is reason for concern. We all have to figure out the bits that we can actually have any control over and find a way to be philosophical about the rest.

Sorry if I interrupted your conversation with @Historylover

A bit of house cleaning can calm me down and rile me up ... lol ... it all depends ...

Take Care both of you

In response to: Re: Another day being attacked by the world.

Re: Another day being attacked by the world.

Sorry things are awful for you at the moment @MattsOpinion Do you have a good mental health professional you can talk to about this? I have sent you an email as well. You can call the SANE Help Centre on 1800 18 7263 or contact crisis support if you feel you need to. I hope things settle for you 💛

In response to: Re: Another day being attacked by the world.

Re: Another day being attacked by the world.

Gosh, @MattsOpinion, your head is in overdrive buddy. Do you have a therapist, GP, family member or friend you can turn to? Do you have medication prescribed to calm your mind? You must calm your mind so that you can do useful things with it. You have a lot to offer the world with your concern for others and the state of things generally, but you have to look after yourself first. Calm yourself @MattsOpinion. Learn ways you can do this.

Can you just sit in the sunshine and have a cup of tea, go for a gentle walk? Learn to get your thoughts in control. Don't give them free rein. Control them. Keep bringing them back under control.

I try to take medication as rarely as possible. Not at all unless I can help it. But I have been overloaded with problems lately and have resorted to taking a prescribed dose of my anti-depressant. It has lifted me from a very dark place to coping well, and when I'm coping I can handle the difficulties, rather than letting them drag me down into despair. Has your doctor prescribed medication for you?

I'm looking forward to hearing from you again, @MattsOpinion. We forumites look after each other.

You didn't interrupt us @Appleblossom, you joined us.

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