Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Getting help! But now deflated

Bipolar94Contributor19 Mar 2022, 12:46 pm AEDT

Getting help! But now deflated

Ive settled in well to my new job and am loving it so far! Im loving it so much more than nursing!

Next week will be my 4th week there.

So making it to the 4th week I spoke with my GP last week about going back to see a psychologist and due to me living 30mins away from work, my GP has left it up to me to find a psychologist either closer to home or closer to work. Ive found two that have stood out for me. One within walking distance from my place and the other down near where i work.

Any tips on choosing a psychologist?

Both that i have picked out have 20+ years experience as a clinical psychologist but one is only doing phone consults for now and doesnt know when she will be going back to face to face.

Other than experience and what they specialise in, are there any other things i should be taking into consideration when choosing a psychologist?

But now after feeling great with how things are going at work, im now feeling completely deflated.

Im wanting to move out of the place im renting this year before summer. My place has stairs that i have fallen on in the past and badly damaged my foot/ankle, i was off work for 3 months due to it. It also gets extremely hot, like and oven, up stairs in summer which i cannot stand, i hate the heat. So i made it my number 1 goal to finally move out of this place and move closer to my sons school so he can start walking to/from school.

Today we started that hunt for a new rental.

I knew the rentals were getting a lot of interest but i never expected 50+ other people to be inspecting the one house we were going to look at too!

Everyone there this morning were either older couples with no kids, young couples with no kids or 2 parent families with 2-3 kids. I was the only single parent there and its really deflated me and messed my mood up for the entire day now it seems. I just want to cry!!! Theres no way we would get the place!!! Of course a landlord will prefer a double income instead of me with a single income. I dont blame them either, they would want that financial security that comes with a double income tenant. But i just know now that even though i can now afford it with my new job, i know 100% that i wont get it because im a single parent, i dont have a partner to be that second income, that security a landlord would want.

So because of that i just want to cry, all im thinking now is that ill never get out of this place im renting. Ill be searching for ages because there were so many people, so many families that are clearly a better candidate than i am with not having that second income.

Its really crushing seeing what happened there today.

When i applied for the place im in now, i was the only one to turn up to the inspection. And now there are like 50+ people applying for one house, how the hell will i be able to make myself more preferred when competing with all that!!!! :'(

4 replies

1 - 4 of 4

In response to: Getting help! But now deflated

PeregrinefalconSenior Contributor19 Mar 2022, 3:07 pm AEDT

Re: Getting help! But now deflated

Hey @Bipolar94!

I am glad to hear that you are loving your new job - yay! Those first few weeks can be tough.

I can also certainly commiserate with the difficulty in finding a place and the amount of competition that it can involve. It can be such hard work.

You mention trying to find a new psychologist. It can be a process of trial and error. Sometimes someone can look great on paper but for no particular reason, there just isn't that 'fit'.

Experience is very important. Some other things that might be worth considering are:

Do I feel heard and understood?
Do I feel safe to share what I want to - without pressure or judgment?
Do I leave the session feeling hopeful and supported?
Practical concerns (such as those that you mentioned around telehealth). Is telehealth something I am comfortable with moving forward, or would I prefer face-to-face? What kind of billing structure do they offer?

Unfortunately, many of these "gut feeling" elements cannot be known until after an initial session. If the option is available, it might be worthwhile asking to have a brief phone call with them with any questions or concerns you might have.

If applicable, it can also be interesting to read any reviews (eg: Google reviews if they are a private practitioner) to get a sense of the experiences of others.

It's a tricky one but it sounds like you have done work in narrowing it down to a few candidates so far. All the best in finding someone that is a good fit for you 💛

Kind regards

Peregrinefalcon

In response to: Getting help! But now deflated

wellwellwellnezSenior Contributor19 Mar 2022, 4:09 pm AEDT

Re: Getting help! But now deflated

When it comes to picking psychologists, I often think of the "analyst"/"behaviouralist" spectrum. Every psych is both but sometimes they lean on one side and others like to aim straight down the middle with "humanist" or "Rogerian" approach.

So it's worth seeing if someone's a "digging deep" or "getting on with it" type (or what their balance is). They're all effective approaches, but it depends on what you want to work on the most.

In response to: Getting help! But now deflated

wellwellwellnezSenior Contributor19 Mar 2022, 4:28 pm AEDT

Re: Getting help! But now deflated

......you might also want to consider attachment dynamics. It's generally best to not get "attached" because the you need the clinical factor to keep things objective. All the same, it does play out. Maybe look at things from an archetype point of view. Every sounding board has different acoustics (I hope that analogy makes sense).

In response to: Getting help! But now deflated

NatureLoverSenior Contributor21 Mar 2022, 7:11 am AEDT

Re: Getting help! But now deflated

Hi @Bipolar94 , I can really sympathise with the extreme difficulty in finding a rental.

Regarding finding a suitable therapist, you may want to read our recent Peer Group Chat on this topic: Finding the right therapist for you

Good luck with that, and also with moving house...

1 - 4 of 4