@Historylover
I'm not doing too well myself at the moment. I went to the gym today and some guy who was much bigger and younger than me started threatening and bullying me when I asked him to respect my desire for social distancing. When I was younger I would have stood up to him but I am way too old to do that anymore and seem to experience a lot of bullying and discrimination these days just as a result of being old. I complained to the (young) gym staff who were less than helpful. All this triggered a PE which I dread and my head is still swimming around in a haze of "stinking thinking". Please excuse me if I say something stupid or irrelevant.
I even ask myself if my ancestors did something wrong
That's one way some people look at it. I just think life is a game of cards and some of us got dealt a bad hand.
why I can't change it
Well you can but usually only a little at a time and not when your wacked out like you seem to be at the moment so I would suggest that you forget about that one for the time being. Put it in the back of your mind for a latter date when you have built up your resources and resilience a bit .
My new GP has me attending nearly every day. He doesn't bulk bill, doesn't prescribe generic medication
My view of doctors including psychiatrists and psychologists are that they are just like everybody else. You get some very good ones, some very bad ones and quite a few so so ones. Sounds like you might have a very bad one who apart from anything else is telling you a load of bullshit. Generic is fine. The pharmacist is right.
I just changed my GP a few weeks ago after he caused me no end of grief and my daughter and a friend literally ordered me to dump him. I can now see what an incompetent idiot he was but at the time I just kept making excuses for his incompetence. No idea why. Perhaps the idea of change was too unsettling. My new doctor is a young female and seems to be much more switched on and attuned to my MH issues. It was a bit of a hassle finding a decent GP but worth the effort.
My last GP told me to write to my estranged daughter and I got an IVO for my trouble
That's a really hard one. My 40 year old daughter and I went through a very bad patch a couple of years ago. I guess she was having a mid life crisis or something and started paying out something terrible on me. It ripped me to pieces. Things have somehow resolved themselves. I am not sure how.
So what is the point of anything
I feel like that from time to time. I have decided that I have got through this much of my life (74 years) so I might as well see it out to the natural end if possible. There have been a lot of pretty rough patches and to be honest not all that many good ones but there have been some. My daughter is one of the good ones which is why it hurt so much when she turned on me.
I had always tried to hide my MH issues from her and from nearly everyone else for that matter. It was probably one of the more stupid things I have tried to do in my life. Everyone sees that something is wrong so what is the point in trying to hide it. I think I have been hiding it mostly from myself as some sort of deluded way to try and keep going. There have been hundreds of PE's over the years. Some of them have escalated into pretty serious situations because the world at large often doesn't deal very well with madness. These days I probably manage things a bit better but it can still be pretty difficult at times. Like today.
Regards
Willy
