PaperdaisySenior Contributor
Caring for someone with an eating disorder
“Creating a safe space is so important in recovery; where you don’t talk about diets and exercise, where food isn’t labelled as good or bad, where you don’t talk about your own body insecurities.”- Bow 🦋
Talking about an eating disorder is difficult. Some people don’t know what to look out for and feel helpless. We have put together this post in collaboration with @Bow who has lived experience of an ED, as well as through the resources provided online via the Butterfly Foundation to help support people with ED and their carers. @Bow Thank you for your invaluable input.
There are many reasons why people develop an eating disorder, and it is likely to involve a combination of psychological, sociocultural and genetic factors. It is important to remember it is not a diet gone too far, it is a complex mental health condition. Background information as well as the explanations of different types of ED can be found here .
Some signs you may want to look out for 🦋
- Dieting or refusing particular food groups
- Continually thinking about calories, their body, weight or image
- Changes in eating habits- a focus on good/bad foods
- Anxiety around meal times- rigidity and ritualistic behaviours around food and eating
- More food than usual disappearing, which may be a sign of binge eating
- Replacing meals with fluids
- Obsessively exercising
- Social isolation and withdrawal
- Fatigue, fainting, dizziness
“I have found through my somewhat short journey so far, that eating disorders are really not understood very much. Of all the mental health conditions, it has one of the highest mortality rates, yet it feels like it’s the least understood. It’s such a specialised area!”- Bow
Supporting someone with an eating disorder 🦋
According to the butterfly foundation, family and a support network play a crucial role in the care and recovery of individuals with eating disorders. For adolescents, Family based treatment and supportive family therapy are the strongest treatments currently being used.
The impact of an eating disorder is not only felt by the person experiencing it, but also their support network. Family members and friends often feel distressed about what is happening. They may feel helpless, confused, anxious, fearful about mealtimes and wondering what to prepare. It is important to remember all these feelings are valid and normal. Caring for someone with an eating disorder is incredibly stressful. There are support groups available and when caring for anyone it’s important to practice self-care and to take time away from the carer role when possible. Connecting with people who have a shared experience is helpful and stories of recovery instil a sense of hope.
“Recovery is really hard. We relapse. We will be resistant and even deny there is a problem. Recovery is not linear. Still love us. Remind us why we want recovery. That change is possible. That help is available. And when we fail, remind us that there is always tomorrow.”- Bow
Steps you can take to be supportive 🦋
- Educate yourself- learn as much as you can about understanding the eating disorder
- Take notice. Even in the small details. All eating disorders are different and no 2 sufferers are the same. Ask questions, try and understand the why’s.
- Attend medical appointments if able to
- Try and understand what the feelings and emotions are that are underneath the eating disorder.
- Listen without judgement.
- Role model positive body image- respect diversity
- Encourage the person you care for to take a step back from social media
- Remind yourself they are still the same person beneath the ED
- Communicate openly and try to be compassionate and empathetic
- Take away the pressure at mealtimes
- Ask how you can help and support them specifically.
- Give choices and control. For some, an eating disorder is very closely linked to control.
- Help prepare for the meal; this can involve doing some grounding exercises before.
- Help with distraction during and after meals.
Support and further reading for carers 🦋
Butterfly online support groups
Caring for someone with an eating disorder
Carers and lived experience perspective
“Often, we don’t even understand why we do the things that we do and think the way that we do. It’s a really confusing and isolating journey.”- Bow
We want to hear from you, If you have lived experience or are caring for someone with an eating disorder, you are not alone. Reach out to us here or over at The butterfly room ED support so the wonderful SANE community can support you.
Please ensure this is a safe space and if this discussion has been triggering for you please reach out to crisis support or Butterfly helpline 🦋
