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Hey all

Newbie here and I’m not even sure what I’m looking for.
My partner of 2 years has been struggling with addiction, he’s been actually dealing with it for 10 years - when I first met him, he hid it from me, since I found out - the last 2 years have been very extremely challenging for us, himself and me - while I do my best to learn about addiction and how I can support him.
he’s currently in his first rehab - which is amazing…but I guess I’m seeking some support around my feelings. A lot of the time the focus is obviously on him, but no one talks about or recognises the toll it takes on the partner of the person with an addiction and the toll it takes on them.
I feel like I’ve lost my personality, my happiness and I’m constantly in fight or flight mode. I don’t even know if this message it making sense, I guess I just want to know if this is normal and maybe find comfort in other people going through the same thing

X

Hello @Gbaav

Sending you lots of understanding hugs my friend

Hope your partner goes well with rehab

Your message makes a lot of sense

My husband has lots of mental health problems and I have physical health problems

Please tag me and ask me anything

@Healandlove , @tyme , @RiverSeal , @Jynx

Hello @Charlotte30 , @mgt_1987 😊

How are you going my friends

Plenty going through similar here @Gbaav and we will totally be here for you as you work through it all! 💜 You are not alone 😊

Hey @Gbaav, thanks for sharing your experiences with the community!

It sounds like you are going through a lot with your partner and their addictions. Sorry to hear that they hid them from you, and you are now having challenges of your own. You are demonstrating your resilience by reaching out to your peers and being vulnerable.

It's great that your partner is going through rehab and they have recognised they have addictions. It can be really beneficial to get some support of your own too. There are plenty of supports available to you, and it can be really helpful to have conversations about what is going on for you with people who get it.

I will pop a few here for you to take a look at and see what you think:

• 1800RESPECT
• Relationships Australia
• Alcohol and Other Drugs Information Service

Hi Shaz,

Doing ok. Feeling frustrated that the mental health hospital where my family member is so poor with communication. It makes me feel disempowered. But otherwise I am ok, aiming to stay warm and stay connected. Sending kindness

Ohh sorry to hear that @Charlotte30

Please take care and I am sitting with you

And if you like to chat we are here

Are you at home or hospital

A little tip to put a @ In front of members names so they can receive your message

@Jynx , @tyme

Hello everyone.

I have joined this group to access shared wisdom about dealing with PTSD in a later life re-kindled relationship.

My background is ADF however I only served 7 years before leaving for another career. After 30 yrs apart I reconnected with an old flame from ADF days a few years ago. Timing seemed great. I had divorced, my kids were both grown and he was widowed and retired after a long and very active 25 years of service. He had found me and it just felt very serendipitous really. The spark was immediate and we decided to give it another crack. I was never under any illusion this would be easy, I even sought my own psychological advice as to what to expect and how to prepare for that. But two years in, and after what feels like a false start that lasted 12 months, its not just feeling 'hard', it's more like mission impossible. At first he'd come and join me for weekends before retreating back to the bush to recalibrate. He really tried hard to stay longer, and I understood from the outset that going back to his own space with controlled circumstances was vital to manage his anxiety. I am aware of that he regularly experiences disassociation and PTSD is obviously the enemy in our lives now. He is currently in the midst of six months spiral which has seen him almost completely withdraw from our shared existence. My family think he is just too far gone, but I can't stop feeling he is trapped inside an iceberg and if I remain patient and loyal the ice will melt and he will return to me... At Xmas I begged him to get help, and he has accessed counselling now for approx 3 months now. It's slow going. He says I am part of his life and future, but he can't communicate by text at the moment so an authentically shared life seems like a fairytale notion ATM. We have no intimacy and he can't respond to any gestures of affection or distress.

Just wondering if any spouses out there have any advice please?

My 20 year old daughter was diagnosed with BPD traits when she was about 16. She's been struggling pretty hard since she was 14. We are very close and have a good relationship.

It's hard to watch her struggle and scary to have to regularly talk her off the ledge. I'm the only person she trusts and opens up to. Relationships are very challenging for her so I'm pretty much it.

I was recently diagnosed myself with ME/CFS (all the stress I guess) so now my daughter supports me too. The Blind leading the blind!

Between myself & her I've exhausted our treatment funds having used them trying everything under the sun. I am receiving some support from available organisations (NDIS rejected my application) it's very helpful but not nearly enough.

I wish my daughter & I weren't so alone in this & that more support or support groups were available.

Hence... here I am reaching out.

Fun fact: we live on a hill in our Tiny homes and have two beautiful cats.

hey again @EchoGirl! and welcome @LunaLoo lovely to have you both here.

sounds like you're both trying your best to support loved ones. you're not alone here 💜