Welcome to the Friends, Family and Carers Group Hub! Introduce yourself here 🙂

@MedicinalGypsy oh totally fair you want to protect your husband from potential collateral damage hun.

Oh I totally know the feeling - I can have a hundred amazing coping tools but when we're outside our window of tolerance it can seem like it's all gone! I know it may not help you right now, but writing out a list or having a 'coping plan' of some sort can be handy - so you don't have to do the work of trying to think of or remember anything in the moment!

I am going to be logging off soon, but I will tag the next @moderator and hopefully they can stop by and check in with you.

Remember your breath too - it's very basic, yes, and I know it's also very tiring to hear it all the time, but for me it is my very first tool for regulation. Our inhale speeds up our heart rate and our exhale slows it down, so by making our exhale much longer than our inhale for a minute or so, it actually works to slow our heart rate - which can help us to feel calmer, and signal to our brain that we're not in danger. In for four counts, hold for five, out for eight - that's my fav breath tool to slow me right down from panic, rage, and overwhelm.

Calling a support line is also always an option!

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

If in immediate danger: 000

Night hun, catch you next time, please be gentle with yourself - you will get through this, I believe in you 💜

Hi. I am seeking understanding and any advice from others who are carers. I am a carer for my 21 year old daughter. We have been home before, and we now face homelessness again. We don’t have the income needed to pay the high rents, even if they were available. I feel such a failure. I can’t keep her safe.

Have you been able to reach out to local housing agencies, eg Salvation Army, etc? @IluvRosie

I'm sorry to hear this is so tough for you at the moment.

Everyone deserves to have a roof over their head and feel safe.

Hi, I guess I'm looking to connect with those who care for a spouse with OCD. I'd like to hear how others deal with the day to day situations that keep arising, from changing meds to understandjng & handling obsessions & compulsions

I want to as helpful as possible but it's so draining.

We've been together for a very long time but only had a diagnosis in the last year.

Thank you

Welcome to the forums @Bluewren57

Thanks for sharing. There are certainly others who can relate to what you are sharing. I hope you find the support and connection on the forums that you are looking for.

I hear how exhausting things must be for you.

Please take time to look after yourself.

Tagging others @Shaz51 @NatureLover

Hello @Bluewren57 and welcome

It can be very exhausting and I have found looking after myself is very important to be able to look after others

I have learnt not to remove or move things so my husband has his routine

Anxiety and changes makes his ocd worse

And to except and to expect him to fix anything that I have done

Please ask me anything

Hey @Bluewren57 just a lil tip - if you want someone to be notified that you've replied, you can tag them with the @ symbol - choose (or type then choose) their name from the drop down so it shows up in blue, like this: @Shaz51 @tyme

Hoarding and OCD, what a combo! Would definitely have a big impact. I'm glad to hear that having that diagnostic label has helped you to make sense of things.

One of my friends has OCD, and he spoke of it being a response to undiagnosed ADHD and unresolved trauma. From what I've read, OCD is not just the external stuff like compulsions and repetitive behaviours, it's also how intense the intrusive thoughts are. Do you know much about your partner's experiences of stuff like intrusive thoughts, or if they have a history of trauma?

Not sure if you've already come across it yet, but we do have some info about OCD here.