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averagecrowContributor
I've been diagnosed with BPD since 2016 but I'm still struggling with it like I've just been diagnosed.
I've behaved in ways that would prove the stigma about BPD.
I'm finally trying to get better, but I've hurt a lot of people and it feels like my life is already over. It feels like I'm drowning in shame. It feels like the kindness and goodness I try to do today is overshadowed by all the bad I've done in my past. So tired of feeling so low all the time.
In response to: BPD shame
WhiteRoseDurgaCasual Contributor
Hey! I don't know you but here is a joke to cheer you up: https://www.redbubble.com/i/greeting-card/Eeyore-Quote-by-unhingedheather/99932849.5MT14 (/sarcasm)
Nothing is too major that a group of compassionate minds can't solve! Also, consider watching some comedy videos on YouTube/Netflix (if you have a subscription) or create a cheerful music playlist. These are some of the things I do to uplift myself.
It's almost my bedtime so I'll head off but looking forward to reading any new comments in the morning. I can share with you some music in the morning if you would like. No pressure but I really like my music taste so I am happy to share it.
In response to: BPD shame
oceangirlSenior Contributor
Welcome to the forum @averagecrow
If you type @ drop box will appear and you can tag them and they will notification of the post or alternatively you can type the member and they will also appear in the drop box.
You're not alone in how you feel and I hope you start to have more good days. We have all made mistakes and done things we are not proud of - it just shows we are human. I applaud you for reaching out here and I hope to get to know you more. Hope to see you in the forum
In response to: BPD shame
WillySenior Contributor
Hello averagecrow,
When I read stories like yours it turns me inside out even though my own life story with schizophrenia has certainly been no picnic. The guilt, anxiety despair etc can very easily end up becoming more of a problem than the original diagnosed symptoms. I wish there was an easy answer I could give you but as far as I know there isn't other than to say just keep on trying.
Underneath all this shit there is a unique, valuable and worthwhile person. It may help to think of your life purpose as finding and liberating that person.
Looking back on my own journey of mental illness, the thing that probably helped me the most was a good support network consisting mostly of other people with serious MH issues. They have been the people who stuck by me the most over the years and kept me going through the really bad times. I posted a detailed response to someone else's post yesterday about support groups and my experiences with them. It may be something worth looking at or at least keeping in mind.
Here is a link to that post it if you are interested.
Support Groups
All the best
Willy
In response to: BPD shame
NatureLoverSenior Contributor
Hi and welcome, @averagecrow , it's good you've joined.
I'm sorry you feel so low. I'm going to tag @BPDSurvivor who has great insight.
Welcome also, @WhiteRoseDurga !
In response to: Re: BPD shame
WhiteRoseDurgaCasual Contributor
Thank you, @NatureLover!
In response to: Re: BPD shame
WhiteRoseDurgaCasual Contributor
@averagecrow These are some of my Guruji's albums. 🙂
I find them beautiful, soothing and uplifting. They're available on the iTunes music store but I don't know where else. You can Google it if you're interested.
In response to: BPD shame
tymeModerator
Hi @averagecrow ,
Thank you for your post. I acknowledge how difficult it may be living with a BPD diagnosis.
I, too, like with a BPD diagnosis. Although very much in the recovery phase now, looking back, I can see how the stigma of BPD affected me.
One important thing I'd like to share is that when I was going through the BPD shame (having hurt many people), I saw a psychologist to tackle the challenges I was having rather than the BPD. This lifted the focus off BPD (and that it is a BAD thing). Rather, therapy was about looking at the elements in my life that were affecting my functioning e.g. my sudden rages, my limited ability to communicate, my anxiety of social situations. With a treating team, we focus on each 'difficulty'.
This gave me the tools and strategies to manage each. As opposed to "I have BPD. How can I be fixed?"
As a starting point, look at one element/behaviour you'd like to focus on changing. What is this behaviour looking like now? How would you like the ideal you to behave? Then go from there.
As much as your life is affected by BPD, you are NOT your BPD diagnosis. You are a unique individual with your owns strengths and challenges.
Feel free to visit some of our BPD threads such as:
1) Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script
2) Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT
3) LIVE CHAT: BPD for Friends, Family and Carers - This Sunday 3rd October 7:00-8:30pm AEDT
These threads may give you some insight into overcoming BPD challenges.
Looking to hear from you soon,
tyme
In response to: BPD shame
petrichorSenior Contributor
Hello @averagecrow
I tried to write a post but deleted in. I just want to tell you that I’m here. I can’t understand your experience and I don’t want to make assumption but I’m here and I hear you, BPD shouldn’t make a difference to people who value you. It’s just like physical illness where people have to educate themselves and be there for you. Full stop, there is no difference between a chronic mental and physical illness. I still don’t know if this comment comes out right, I would just like to let you know that your kindness and goodness do matter and that it is brave that you’re trying to live with your diagnosis.
In response to: Re: BPD shame
tymeModerator
Hey @averagecrow ,
How are things for you at the moment?
Thinking of you. Looking forward to hearing from you,
tyme
In response to: BPD shame
Judi9877Senior Contributor
Hi there @averagecrow and welcome to the forums👋! I’m a Community Guide here who has lived experience of BPD along with schizophrenia and depression so I can resonate with your story of feeling shame towards your BPD diagnosis. To be honest, I’m still trying to understand my BPD diagnosis after having it for 15 years at least but do know that I’m not just my BPD. I know there are many other things that make me special and feel good about myself such as my knitting for charity for example and that’s why I try to remember when the BPD tries to ruin my day. I can understand the shame element of the diagnosis because I often feel that way myself but you have to remember that there are many good points about you as well. BPD may think you’re a bad person but you’re not and you have to remember this. I’ve spoken to my psychologist about this and he’s told me time and time again that BPD is just a diagnosis and nothing more. It’s part of you but not all of you. I believe you have many good points to offer people and I’ve seen one of those good points in you deciding to join the forums and ask for some advice which is a great thing so well done ⭐️!
I’m going to tag @BPDSurvivor in here as I know they can provide you with some good advice on BPD like they have offered me in the past and continue to do so to myself and others. Like @tyme has also said, there’s a section on the forums called Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script where forum members with BPD often visit to discuss things related to BPD that you might be interested in looking at.
I wish you all the best and hope to see you on the forums soon!
Take care!
Judi9877☺️💐
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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