Struggling

I'm struggling again. Below is just me venting.

So I made it to the GP last week and did a few bits and pieces in town and got myself a takeaway as a reward for effort.

Made a few follow up appointments, including with psychiatrist (3 hour round trip away) and felt much better for it but...

I seem to have lost heart over the weekend and am now obsessing over the routine (but oh so difficult to me) tasks required to attend the appointments I have made and second guessing the content of the appointments themselves.

I'm also really saddened by my lack of progress towards self agency and clearing up my living environment and vege garden, sorting out paperwork and just generally bringing some order to my life etc.

It feels like I'm under a huge weight and action is required if I am to get out but I continue to procrastinate and bend to the pressure.

I don't think that I can do it (attend the appointments); but I have proven that I can...

It makes no sense 🤪

RedHorse 🌹🐴

Hey there @RedHorse

Just letting you know I’m around & hearing you with those experiences you’re in right now.

I can relate with you with situation being down on myself about having not done certain things or the ‘progress’ which I’d hoped for - I’ve really been trying to practice self-compassion over the last few years, which sometimes gives me sense of relief to take the pressure off myself.

Do you feel like you can give yourself some grace with that today?

Yes, thankyou @Former-Member

I am practising self compassion starting now.

Take care,

RedHorse 🌹🐴

Self compassion really works @Former-Member

Tomorrow is another day.

Goodnight Forumites 😴

RedHorse 🌹🐴

You need to be a bit easier on yourself and realise that mental illness is effing hard. I’m a couch potato and I have a room where I just chuck things like receipts and old cards and outdated electrical shit that I’ll never use. I really don’t think the day is long enough. I get out of bed around 11am cos I’m so disfunctional and I might get stuff done in the arvo. At the moment I’m sort of doing ok but it’s only because I’m older and more accepting of how truly effed my life has been from this illness. I actually watch tv and I find myself thinking when an ad comes on that people who have real problems are not even acknowledged in mainstream tv. It’s like you must BE something and the concept that many people don’t succeed or may be alone PERMANENTLY is not even tackled. Hope your doing ok

Just think how effed Will Smith is and all the money and opportunities that DH has had in his life. I had to add this.

Just sitting on the couch with a coffee, trying to be grateful for the little things...

Coffee is good @RedHorse .

Are you planning on planting any winter vegetables? My backyard has been on the too-hard list but I should check on the grapefruit tree.

Hi all , hope we are all having an ok weekend so far. I’m not sleeping again , ..comes and goes. I love it when my psychiatrist says you must be thinking a lot to stop falling asleep. My answer is the same - I’m worried about not sleeping. So I’m really effed. It’s 10pm here I don’t feel tired just wired alas.