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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

here for you @Former-Member , it is hard and it can be overwhelming , and when we don`t know what is going to happen next

one step at a time

if you want to chat I am here

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi everyone, and thanks for your support. @outlander @Zoe7 @Former-Member @Sam3 @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @BlueBay @Sophia1 @Maggie @Starta @Peri

Its almost a week since my last update. Its taken this long to work out whats to happen with my planned apt for this Friday. And then @outlander , you prompted my memory to update here when you asked how things were today on another thread.

Today was an appointment for hubby for scans. Difficult for him because he is claustrophobic and gets very anxious about any scans. But he managed and now the blood tests from yesterdy and the scans from today will go to his oncologist for a review next week. So a few anxious moments to come over the next week as we await results for his cancer monitoring.

Other than that, I have spoken today to my psych. She had asked me to keep her updated as to what was happening regarding what we had agreed needed to happen in order for this Fridays apt to happen.

I had a really bad night last night where my brain simply refused to shut down. My pillow was soaked from tears which could not be contained. I got no sleep at all and I've been an emotional and physical wreck all day today.

How I wish I was 'normal' with normal reactions to everyday things. Instead of this pathetic creature who falls apart over simple mundane things like a pap smear. There are times I'm really afraid of being me, and now is one of those times. I hate a fuss being made over me, I hate that attention comes my way, I'm embarrassed that I'm not just 'run of the mill' and able to cope like most others. I much prefer to be hiding in the background, where nobody notices me.

There are a number of contributing factors as to why everything is currently so hard. One of those factors is to do with Fridays planned apt for the second attempt at a pap smear. The first attempt caused a triggering of my ptsd, and my psych put together a plan of action to try to ensure the same thing didnt happen again. Or at least that it would be somewhat more muted. Unfortunately, nothing has come together over the past week as we'd hoped, and I've been fighting the urge to cancel, out of a sense of panic. My concern with doing that is that I know if I do cancel, it's way too easy to just not book another. As it is, the GP made this apt for me when my first attempt at this simple procedure failed in January. I suspect she knew I wouldn't make the apt, so she made it for me. Smart lady.

Anyway, my psych had written to my GP last week to ask him to prescribe a stronger sedative or to arrange a twilight anaesthetic for Friday's procedure. I don't know yet if he is willing to do this or not, but regardless, he has no appointments to fit me in to see him before at least 2 weeks time. And that;s way too late for my Friday hospital apt.

This morning I emailed my psychologist as she requested that I let her know how things were shaping up for Fridays apt. I told her I couldn't get in to see my GP in time, and I didn't even know if he would agree to her request for sedation anyway. She wanted to know how I was doing and if things had settled down since last week. I told her I had a dreadful night overnight, and was not doing very well at all. She replied with the following:

"For now I think it's best if you cancel Fridays appointment. It can be rescheduled for a later date when you aren't so triggered. Your trauma and hyper arousal is just too flared to go into that situation with any degree of safely. You have too much on your plate with your husband's numerous upcoming appointments and his reliance on you, to be too unwell yourself. Just let the hospital know that you will call to reschedule once you've seen your GP. Meanwhile I will send another note through to your Doctor. Please phone and make an appointment to see him as soon as possible. And let me know when you have cancelled Friday's appointment."

Her reasons for postponing are valid and sound, and I trust my psych's professional opinion. So this afternoon, after returning home from attending hubby's Scans, I rang the hospital and cancelled my appointment for Friday. She had told me last week when I last saw her that if all the ducks did not line up, she would like to see me postpone the appointment. So this was consistent with her previous advice.

I really have mixed feelings however regarding cancelling. My initial emotion was immense relief. Then I thought, well no .... it's still got to be done. All I'm really doing is prolonging the agony of waiting, all the while knowing it's still got to be done. I'm now unable to get in for another appointment at the hospital until early April. The obvious benefits in postponing until April is that February will be over and perhaps I won't be as easily triggered then as I am now. The second thing, is that I will have been able to see my GP by then and hopefully he will be willing to prescribe a stronger sedative to make the whole procedure easier and less triggering.

I guess it doesn't matter what I think now, because it's done .. decided. @Peri you stated that I should postpone when you wrote here last week. I think my explanation here explains why I was reluctant to do that. But in the end, circumstances has led me to agree with you on that, and that view was backed up by my psychologist. How are things going for you? @Starta I read that you were awake all night last night, and looking for some company. You should have posted here because I was also. I hope you are doing better today.

For the next few weeks now, I can just concentrate on getting through February's anniversary period. That is enough .....

Sherry 🤗🌸💕

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

❤️ @Former-Member ....

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope for last nights message, and also @BlueBay for your support button this morning and @Appleblossom last night. @outlander I hope you're okay today? @Zoe7 Have a good day at work today, Thursdays must be familiar to you now, as this is your second? @Sam3 How are you going, you seem to have been quiet of late? Only a few more days before your new job commences. @Shaz51 I hope today is okay for you, I realise you have so much happening right now with uncle, mother, Mr Shaz and even more importantly ... yourself. Please take care. @Peri and @Starta - I havent heard from either of you in a while. I hope very much that you are both okay?

I got a bit of interrupted sleep last night, which was a long way better than absolutely none the night before. Today is hard because I remain very drained mentally and physically. I'm uptight, snappy and on edge, which is not good for either Hubby or me. He tells me I need to see a psych! Ha ha .. very funny ... though it wasnt meant to be funny ... it was said scathingly and was clearly meant as a put-down. It hurts, and makes me sad that he feels I am not good enough for him.

Meanwhile hubby is not at all well and is wanting to ditch all of his medications to see if it fixes anything. Had his breakfast this morning and I managed to convince him to continue taking all his meds for today at least. I hope he will continue to agree to do that until we next see his GP to discuss further. Then he was straight back to bed, where hopefully he will wake up feeling a little better after a couple hours sleep and a chance for meds to kick in. I will wake him up soon for a cuppa. He was meant to be seeing his exercise physiologist this morning, but he told me to ring and cancel it ... that he isnt feeling up to it. I could hardly argue could I? After all I did the same for my Pilates class on Monday. So I mutely agreed and rang them to cancel.

Not sure what my psych said in her letter to my GP yesterday, but I got a call this morning from my GP's receptionist saying he wants to see me asap. They have managed to slot me in on Monday. Shame its all too late for my (now cancelled) apt at the hospital tomorrow. I'm thinking it will be a difficult discussion, and not one I will be comfortable with. Need to try to get it all out of my mind for now though ... its still 4 days away. More pressing things to think of right now.

Sherry 🌸😟

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hello @Former-Member ,

It’s sad to hear that you are so drain and very tired, being so tired does have a big impact on your mental health, and doesn’t help with the fact that you are uptight, snappy and on edge as not sleeping enough would be contributing to feeling like that..Are you still doing meditation and then some relaxing music once you lay down to sleep?...weightless is a beautiful calming and soothing music with the little vid that goes with it is mesmerising...It doesn’t work all the time but it may help to release some built up emotions before sleep...

You are doing a really good job of taking care of your husband but it sounds like you are not doing so for yourself..Please Sherry remember that you need to look after you just as much if not more..You need to stay healthy both physically and mentally for you and to be able to care for your hubby..

Your Gp sounds like he has concern for your wellness and care for you if he wants to see you asap, it might be a hard visit for you but your GP is seeing you because he wants the best for you...Please try to breath through the next few days when your anxiety needs a rest...and maybectry to distract your thoughts from the up coming visit by doing something that you enjoy doing, maybe a book you can find that you will enjoy, or some music you like..

I hope the rest of your day is okay dearest Sherry...

sending love and hugs to you and anyone anyone else who needs them..💜🤗.

Starta..

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

hugs @Former-Member

having sleepless nights does not help when we have soo much on , I hope you can rest this afternoon if you are able xxx

soo very hot up here , we worked for the morning and then saw mum

and then lunch -- glad we are not working this afternoon

mr shaz has gone to sleep on the couch

hello @Starta , , @Faith-and-Hope , @outlander , @Zoe7

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I very much appreciate your support @Former-Member I had another good day at work with some nice things said - so that is encouraging and makes me feel even better being at the school

Those negative comments from hubby would be very hard to have to deal with Hon - you are a wonderful, caring, compassionate and supportive person to all in your life and that deserves to be recognised. Your hubby's comments are a reflection on himself and not on you dear @Former-Member It is heartbreaking that you have to deal with those comments though as they certainly are aggressive in nature.

I hope your appointment on Monday is not as bad as you think it will be. We often go directly to the negative when we don't know what is coming - I do hope it is your psych and GP wanting to help you get through what will undoubtedly be a difficult time for you. Very much thinking of you today @Former-Member It is not ideal that you cancelled your appointment for tomorrow but I do understand it - hoping your GP will help you out with meds to help you get through it when you re-schedule.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Shaz51 sending you loads of these and some cool Hobart air for your hot weather - I needed a jumper on today and it was still really cool. I have to remember to put my jacket in the car for duty when it is this cold.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

💜💖💜💖

@Former-Member 🌺🌷🌸🌷🌺🌸

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