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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member I hear and understand. I too wish you had someone in real life to be with who understands.

Its hard going through it alone. Wishing I could be there for you. We could be there for each other.

All we have is on here. Not the same at all, but at least it’s something.

I too like/need my time alone.

But really am feeling lately that I need friends.

I hope you find some comfort that, myself and others are here sitting with you.

It’s sounds so difficult for you that you can’t share your feelings with your husband.

I’ve been thinking for a while now. Where do I go to find new friends.

Ive googled heaps, but as yet, haven’t found my answer.

I hope you can find an answer to finding someone to be with to share your feelings etc.

Sending love and hugs to you @Sherr 💜💖😘

☕️

🌸🌷🌺

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member

I know what you mean about changing psychs after a long relationship. It is deeply disturbing and very hard, but dont lose hope, I had a good experience recently with a new one.

I found your posting about PTSD due to sexual abuse or rape being 2nd class to war trauma, sad, not justifiable, but probably realistic. The difficult this is the repeatedness and living in close quarters to the cause of stress ... I had the "war" thing put on me in various ways, in the end I started to feel, but WWII lasted less than 6 years ... then of course feeling shocked at my sacrilege.

Take Care Bella.

I think it was a lovely thing the GP said about you doing counselling. Only when you feel free, as you dont want more burdens, but when you are ready, you would be very good at it.

Gentle Recovery hugz

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hey again @Former-Member I felt that I needed to respond to your post with the same care that you wrote it so here goes...

I believe that part of PTSD is the shame and guilt that we feel - it shouldn't be that way - the shame and guilt should be on the perpetrators but we know that for the most part they don't feel any of that and in so many cases they think they have done nothing wrong - yet we live with it our whole lives. Such things destroy part of us but it also makes us who we are - and that is something that is also difficult to come to terms with. I believe that going through such life alteriing events does make us more empathetic and caring towards others but we would change what happened in a heartbeat if we could. It is a dichotomy because so much of who we are is determined by these 'events' but without them we wouldn't be who we are - hard to reconcile any of that.

Part of us wants to have others in our lives that we can talk to but part of us also doesn't want to impose our grief onto others - and couple with that we don't know how others will take these things and infact will they feel sorry for us rather than empathise and will that then be the end of that relationship. I have learned over the years that the 'hard stuff' people really don't want to know - so I simply don't say anything about me at all - that makes me a very closed off and isolated person - one whose privacy is paramount and the thought of letting anyone in fills me with fear.

We don't just go through these traumatic 'events' once but they are repeated again and again - sometimes in our minds and sometimes physically - both are debilitating and that is the essence of PTSD. I do agree that PTSD seems to be viewed as 'ok' for Vets and front-line workers but when you start talking about the effects of assault that people often do not equate that with ongoing trauma - yet that is what it is. It is treated more as something to 'get over' yet those people that think that way have certainly not be assaulted in sucha violent and violated way. I do believe that there is a wider movement happening that recognises these 'events' as traumatic and also the longer lasting imact they have on survivors ...but there is still a lng way to go.

I also think you would be a good counsellor but we also need to have self-care in place before we even consider something like that. It would give you a sense of purpose but it would need to be something you felt strongly for in order to protect yourself as well. I think we all here would agree that you have the empathy and knowledge to undertake such a role if that is what you chose to do. It is something worth considering Hon.

I know you have a lot happening with your husband, brother and parents all pulling you in different directions and for different reasons. No-ones health is at all good and that is why you need to look to yourself first and have things in place that will help you. You cannot be everything to everyone - it is a physical impossibility - so try to be there for yourself first and that will help you be there for others. I also know your psych selling the practice is a major deal for you but hopefully she will remain as an employee and you can continue seeing her long term. That is one thing you can't control but you both can put things in place for the transtion if there is any. I remember you saying that she said nothing would change so for now maybe taking her at her word is the best way to go. I remember when my GP changed practices it was a real shock for me but her care has not altered and I suspect that will be the case with your psych too.

I do wish you had friends that you could catch up with just for some timeout of your 'normal' life if nothing else. I am a bit the same - my friends I talk to are on here and that is okay because real life is scary and I have been hurt many, many times - it becomes even harder to trust people ...but we trust here so why isn't it that we can ransfer that into the real world? I think the answer to that is that on here we get to know each other really well with no barriers and everyone is looking for the same things - compassion, care and support - 3 things that are also essential in order to trust.

Many hugs and a whole lot of love for you opening your heart and writing such a moving post - you inspire me @Former-Member with your honesty and depth of thinking as well as how brave and strong you are.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thank you @CheerBear @Zoe7 @Former-Member @Appleblossom, I very much appreciate all your posts, and the time taken to reply to me. I will reply in more detail when I feel less emotional. Lots of tears right now. 😢 But happy to know I at least have understanding support here. 😇
Sherry 🤗💕

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Sorry you’re feeling so sad @Former-Member Tears can be healing.

Still not easy at all.

💜

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hello @Former-Member...

Im still here hun....The reason I was transferred to the acute ward was because my psychiatrists didn’t want me home on my own...My son came to visit me and I was given a 3 day pass..I’m going back tomorrow...I’m keeping my 👀 on you sweetheart, but it’s hard to reply atm..a few triggers when reading...please don’t think I’ve left you...I’m just a little quiet atm, and will be until I’m released from hospital...I’m listening to you honey and holding on to you tightly.....please be safe and okay....thinking of you...

love and hugs.. sherry...💜💜🤗🤗..

Starta..

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Starta 🌺 😭 👀👂💜

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hoping you’re ok @Former-Member 💜💖

Wanted to say Nighty night and I hope you can sleep ok.

I might come back on if I can’t get to sleep.

Feeling uptight again. Was hoping to have early night.

Just things going on here with D.

Wish life was easier for you and others on here, for all of us.

Take care. Try and find something nice for yourself to do tomorrow.

Tonight try deep breathing and try and relax, if you can. ❤️

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Dear @Former-Member

I hear you and wanted to say how difficult it must be for you. I really truly feel for you.

I know you don’t have anymore in real life to talk to but remember you will always have us on here to love support snd care for you so much.

Sending you my love hugs and friendship ❤️❤️😘

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member,

nice to see your post. I too am a very private person and an introvert. I have several good friends but only one I confide in about how bad things are at the moment and I don’t want to over burden her, sometimes I think that I do.

Things between my my son and I are at an all time low and I can’t take much more of it but don’t see a way out. I am sick of being yelled at and then asked for something . I am sick of being abused.

I know something of what happened on the other forum and was very distressed by it and had several of my posts taken down and was ticked off.

but I am Glad I have found you here.

sometimes I wonder if being on these forums is good for me I wonder if it accentuates my anxiety in some way.

having a good gp is a godsend. But I dontSet so much store by psychologists. After a while it all just gets repetitive.

I have to stop, my thoughts are all jumbled. I am sorry.

Peri

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