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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

381 - 390 of 2,344

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi Sherry

lola here, one of the moderators.

I have sent you and email on how to have the post re-instated.

regards

lola

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thanks @lola, I got an email from Nik yesterday asking me to copy the email she sent me, remove the highlighted bits and repost my post. But that would put the post after a lot of replies to it, thus out of order and out of context. So I asked if Nik could make the changes she suggested and slot it back where it was once the changes were made. I'm sorry I'm so dumb when it comes to all this technical stuff.

Sherry

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Ah Sherry, the technical difficulties tht challenge so many of us!

My suggestion is make the the changes and add a comment at the start, then post it. You don't want to delay posting it any longer

Cheers

lola

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I think it won’t bother any of us that it is out of sequence @Former-Member, especially following on from this commentary .....

I too believe there is no excuse for throwing the breakfast at you ..... coming from someone who has been fielding abusive behaviour akin to this from her own husband ..... and yes, I would have walked out of the room too. In my mr’s state, expressing verbally that that sort of behaviour is not on just got an adversary reaction from him. Walking out on it, and keeping to myself in a state of distress is what has reached him, removing the adversary (perceived) threat ..... and now the wheel has turned somewhat, I even receive the occasional apology with an opening to discuss it in hindsight.

You are both dealing with so much, but you are his rock, and he will need to remember this ongoing ....

What can you do today to take care of yourself ? Can you take yourself out for coffee somewhere quiet and lovely ?

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member ..... 🌷💕

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member

Glad to read you are feeling a bit better. I agree with @Faith-and-Hope and @Bunniekins - there is no excuse for what your husband did full stop. And to try and suggest you were to blame for the assault is the same as saying a wife deserved to be beaten - and all abusive men who do this say the same - "it was her fault, she provoked me, she deserved this". What if you reacted at that time - what would of happened? The problem here is with no admittance that he was in the wrong together with no apology, he is justifying his bad behaviour and will most likely do it again, continue the controlling behaviour, which is also abusive, and sometimes violent. This concerns me for your mental and physical ongoing welfare.

"If he was really sorry my friend, "he would admit fault, apologise and not repeat any controling or violent behaviour" And anyone who stands by knowing what is happening and says nothing is also party to that abuse. A lot of woman will blame themselves through lack of self esteem from having being controlled and treated with no respect for so long.

Throwing something at someone and yelling through snapping in rage is physical and verbally assault. No way is "his lack of control your fault". There is no excuse to assault a woman ever. This concerns me for your welfare. I will leave it at that as the rest is now up to you. I just want you to be happy, respected as you deserve to be and safe as I consider you a friend. There is an organisation called respect if you need to talk to anyone or need further clarification.

I hope today you have some time to yourself, do something for you that you enjoy such as getting out for a coffee a d a beachwalk etc, and nurture your deserving self. You are the priority now and treat yourself well. ❤️ Sending a big warm hugs xxx

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member Thanks for letting us know how you are. I think @Faith-and-Hope has a good suggestion there, can you get out somewhere for a coffee, a run along the beach with Holly????? Sending warm thoughts 💜💕💜

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member Just in case you don't feel up to visiting other threads. Happy New Year.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hello to @Maggie @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Bunniekins or anyone else interested.

Life is so hard right now, I'm really not sure I'm even meant to be here. As I sit trying to figure out what I want to say, I am intermittently wiping away tears to try to see the computer screen, and trying to breath calmly to slow the rapid heart beat and get some air into my lungs. So hard .. so incredibly hard.

Its a week before the anniversary of my trauma. I know this is always a difficult time for me. But I guess I'd hoped things may have been improving over the past couple of years. But it seems I was wrong. Its only becoming harder.

Why did I go through the rigors of exposure therapy and EMDR if I'm no better afterwards? Am I just treatment resistant, or did I suffer with PTSD too long before seeking help with it? Is that a valid question? Or is my husbands terminal illness diagnosis towards the end of last year, making everything seem worse? The thought of him no longer being here is a trigger in itself. It will leave me feeling very vulnerable, alone and unprotected. I think of him as my protector, and yet his temper tantrums, aggression and general narcissistic treatment of me adds to my trauma.

I feel completely mixed up, overwrought and defeated right now. I no longer know where to turn.

Sherry

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member Sweetheart you are going through so much ... 😞 I am so glad that you have written to us it is very important not to close yourself off from expressing your feelings. You also have your nephew I remember ... so much burden for one person. Lean on my shoulder anytime you want I will be hear just sitting with you if you like. I can be a quiet pea if you want love the pea xxx

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