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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member

I was just thinking about you this morning wondering how you were getting on as you hadn't posted here for awhile and were sounding good on the other threads. But these thoughts about if you were truly okay or not wouldn't leave me. Such a coincidence you posted here.

With what your brother is going through with his son we went through for roughly 5 years with our daughter (from age 16 to 21). With the difference that she was sexually assaulted when out of our care. She smoked cannabis, associated with the wrong people (was in an abusive relationships) and last year took heavier drugs for awhile. She had a near fatal attempt. She also for a very short while became involved in some criminal activities - that is when I asked her to move out. She would not get any help for herself except some occasional mood stabilisers her GP gave her.

Our daughter was diagnosed with bi-polar and BPD but cannot be wholly used as an excuse for the bad choices she was personally choosing to make - she now sees this finally with a push from us and has taken back control back of her life making better healthier choices (no more drugs), and dumping the people who were not good for her, who were using and abusing her. Her life has turned around dramatically as a result, she respects us more and her mental health and disorders vastly improved having stabilised to normal. She still has issues from past abuses but is now dealing with it the right way and is much stronger to deal with it now. This all came about through us enacting tough love as she was not open to help.

Whom our teenage children choose to associate with is a big part of this problem. The drug taking triggers and accelerates MI. So apart from psychiatric help which is good, they need to stay away from such associates whom could drag them back down. With your nephew wanting to be free from drugs and to get help is a good thing - wonderful he is open to help. This will assist him to turn his life around, to mature and things then should settle as it did with my daughter - please put your mind at ease there as it sounds like it is heading in a positive direction. You have enough to deal with at home.

What your husband did to you is unacceptable and is abusive. I can imagine your distress. I know he is sick and you do not want things to escalate but he needs to know that this cannot happen again without consequences. There is no excuse. I could imagine your whole self worth would be zero through such treatment and this would be escalating your mental health issues that could see you in a dangerous situation (SI). You deserve to be treated with respect my friend and this has to stop for your well being and health which is just as important. Respect has to be a two way street. No improvement can happen as any efforts to get better would be undermined through such bad treatment. I say this as a friend who cares. You are a good, intelligent woman who deserves better and who deserves a life.

Sitting here with you. Others will also join in and post soon. Sending a huge warm squishy hug your way especially today - I could well imagine how shaken you would be and why my thoughts were consumed about you this morning. 🤗🌹xxx

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Are you ok @Former-Member. ❤️
How would your husband react if you said you won’t put up with abuse?
I hate to think that he treats you so bad
Hugs to you. 🌷

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member well I had to delete what I previously wrote as it was hipocritical, I stayed with an abusive husband for 17 years, I know you know that, it makes me angry how you are treated, you are so good to him, you deserve so much better, do you know that??? As far as bringing in the paper...somebody stop me!!!!!

I'll have to change subjects.... Sorry to read about your nephew, something you nor your family needs right now. Thank goodness he's receiving help. I do hope he gets the right help, very important.

You know you can say whatever you want to on my thread, whenever you want to. Just do what comes comfortably for you. You must be low if the rain isn't dragging you outside. I'm sorry to hear that. Remember I used to say we could green up the Sahara with our tears, yea, still doing it, together. You are not alone dear lady. Sending a shower your way, and a fav. Pic. 💕💜🐾

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Just for you today @Former-Member.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member - we will weather this storm together until we reach the rainbows edge..

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member I'm bringing the rain to you.

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Oh @Former-Member 🙁

Hugs n hugs ...... 🌸🌼🌷🌻🌹🌺💐💕

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member Just sneaking in to say hi. Hope you are sleeping.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Morning everyone. I just want to briefly post this morning to thank you all for responding to my post yesterday. It meant a lot. I will respond more fully when I'm feeling more up to it. But I wanted you all to know that I am okay. Yesterday was tough, and tears seemed to flow all day and all night. Hubby says I provoked him into doing what he did. Not sure how, but I have to accept that I did. I think he regrets what he did.

You may have noticed that my post from yesterday was temporarily removed. And so far it still hasnt gone back live, perhaps the @Former-Member could check to see what's become of it. I apologise to all of you for saying something which may have caused distress yesterday. I'm afraid I wasnt thinking too clearly at the time.

@Maggie @Former-Member @Former-Member @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Bunniekins. Did I miss anyone? Again I apologise, not thinking very clearly right now.

Sherry

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member /Dear Sherry I read your original post and to be honest I couldnt reply other than a tick at the time ... it was so raw and full of emotion. I am so sorry that you are going through this ... my father once through a glass of wine at my face when I was in my 20s ... I am sorry it is not on, no one deserves that treatment regardless of so called provocation. Nope ... definately not ... you deserve a huge apology and more.

Your nephew(?) he is in big trouble ... I dont know what to say about that ... I have to give it more thought but as for you you did nothing to deserve breakfast thrown at you period.

xxxxxxx

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