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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member Thinking of you and wondering how you are going?

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Me too @Former-Member wondering how you are going. Haven't seen you round in the last few days.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Maggie @Former-Member @Former-Member and thanks for your recent messsages enquiring as to how I am. Hi also to @outlander @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope and @Shaz51 who have supported me for some time.

Had a nice 20th wedding anniversary on Wednesday. Hubby forgot of course, but thats okay, he never makes a fuss of our anniversaries anyway. But I made a nice dinner for him which I knew he'd like. It was a cured pork knuckle, done german style and slow cooked. And served with mashed potato and sugar snap peas. And a sauce/glaze of meat juices, red wine, tomato paste, and some herbs and spices. It was really very nice, even if I do say so myself. And he loved it too, which is the important thing. He's not been eating well at all since his operation and 3 week hospital stay, but he had a big feed on Wednesday. He is still talking about how nice it was, so I guess it was a big hit. Yay me! Finally got something right.

We finally got word from the oncologist on Wednesday that hubbys final lot of mutation pathology results were in. And we had a long appointment with him yesterday. Needless to say there was no good news, only a reinforcement of what I already knew. Which is that hubby has incurable cancer, that its inoperable and that all they can do is to try to contain it and to try to buy some extra quality time before it finally takes over.
CT Scans hubby had last week shows that the cancers have more than doubled in size since his last scans 3 months ago when he had a PET scan. So they are fast becoming large enough to have symptoms. Mutation testing shows that his cancer is BRAF negative which means some of the new and very effective targeted therapy in tablet form is not an option. So a couple of immunotherapy treatments is whats recommended. No guarantees that they will be effective of course. And the oncologist was reluctant to put a time on anything, but carefully kept bringing it back to buying time.
So we were given lots of information to go over and to make a decision over the coming few days. No rush he said to make a decision. Then he says he wants to commence treatment asap, like within the next couple of weeks. So in other words, there is a rush. We have to decide between two different single treatments or a combination of two which increases the success rate, but results in some nasty side effects. So its a trade off. Hubby has taken it all pretty well so far. But he did say that he will not be making any lifestyle changes, ie he wont be cutting back on his drinking.
The anti-cancer drugs are really only devised to 'buy time', and the oncologist was very careful to ensure he did not give any false expectations about things. He was very kind of course, but you could see it in his eyes ... there's very little he can do. He offered the option of going on an experimental drug trail, but it would mean spending a lot of time in the city, which hubby didnt want. So he said no that that straight off.
So how am I you ask? Right now I'm very tired, feel deeply sad, alone and a little lost. Numb I guess. Silly really, because we were only told what I had already found out for myself, nothing new. But I guess when its told to you directly by the oncologist, it all becomes so much more real.
I am feeling pretty overwhelmed by everything in general, the unknown even. Life is about to change very dramatically around here. I'm not sure I'm ready for that, or that I can deal with everything that I am going to be called upon to do. I'm not sure I'm up to ensuring my own safety, much less looking after someone else. Where do I fit in, in this new scheme of things? I dont know.
Sherry

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Oh @Former-Member all I can say in honestly is we are standing with you, for all its worth. So much suffering, so much pain. When is enough enough??? Dear dear lady, what else can I say, I'm feeling so very much with you right now, frustrated that a computer/iPad separates us. I'm not a touchy person at all, but I would hold you close if it would bring the smallest relief. A hig.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

One day at a time @Former-Member .... and we will walk along with you.

Be as brave as you can. Nobody can ask more of themselves than that,

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

So sorry to hear @Former-Member ❤
That is really devastating news for you.
It does sound like such a difficult time ahead for you, no wonder you are feeling so overwhelmed.
Stress like that is so exhausting.
I wish I knew what to say.
Love to you Sherry, again I'm lost for words.
💜🌸🌼🌹

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

My dear @Former-Member

This is sincerely one of those times I wanted to jump through the screen and be with someone - you. This is huge what you are facing. I have some idea as my husband has cancer. I can imagine your fear, grief and pain and how draining, tiring and overwhelming it can be - I wish I could be there, I wish someone could be there for you. This is not fair. I am really feeling for you and with you.

I particularly worry when I read that you cannot assure your own safety. @Former-Member - how you got in touch with a cancer or Carers support group? Please do consider this - I feel this is now so important after reading your update. It may be the last thing you feel like doing but I feel you will get more support there. It will help you a lot.

Your dinner sounded scrumptious - your husband is a very lucky man. You are a very special lady.

I wish I could do more, I truly do. We will be there for you my friend every step of the way. It's moment to moment now for you now, and be kind to you. Take those peaceful moments when you can and rest. Ask for particular help from agencies/organisations for assisted care if you need to. I think I remember your husband is a veteran and you would be entitled to this and DVA counselling (which I think you already have a psychologist). Do you find the counselling helpful with all you are going through?

All the love you give will come back to you to help you through this difficult time. And you do it well!! I have no doubt you made your husband feel very special on your anniversary. Never doubt yourself - you are a treasure, you are strong and you will find a way through. You will discover a strength you never knew you had. I believe in you. I just wish I could take your pain. Lean on us. Sending a warm hug 💜🌹xxx

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@outlander, as requested, I've tagged you with my latest update from Friday. I will try to post here again over the next couple of days. Will hopefully be in a better frame of mind by then.

Thanks so much also to @Former-Member @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Maggie for all your messages. You are beautiful people all of you, and your support means a lot to me.

Sherry xx

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

❤💙💚💛💜💓💕💗💟

🌷🌺🌹🌸🌻🌼

☕🍰

Will catch up another time. @Former-Member
Have to rush to get ready and out 😮😣😨
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