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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member ..... 💜💕

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Oh @Former-Member

What a horrible shock and reminder.....I am not sure if anyone can put a definite time limit on when the mind will settle after such acute symptoms. If you are also under other acute stressors, worry and grief - this could be all related and involved; (the incident at the hotel being the nail on the head so to speak, the last straw that tips us over). My concern is that perhaps the PTSD/depression/trauma symptoms you are suffering now could be the result of an accumulation of many stressors that have been happening over a long period of time - not just this one incident?

I am very concerned by your stated symptoms. I suffered similar when I had a breakdown. Not being able to eat and losing weight is a symptom of acute distress - are you taking any medication presently @Former-Member? If not I think in your case something like the right AD and dosage would offer you much relief in time (once absorbed in your system). It will help ease the extreme anxiety/distress and help you to gain an appetite again which is very important for long term healing; - for me the anxiety/distress/despair was the worst part.

I think this is now the necessary next step having experienced similar in the past. As well as grief and sexual assault counselling. Real life support groups also may help a lot. If you are already on something I think it may help you to revisit this treatment with your psychiatrist. You need sleep and to eat adequately. You can't keep going on like this my friend as it could take its toll.

Feeling for you and we are here for you to see you through. Sending you a big, warm hug xxxx

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

hi @Former-Member im sorry to hear about all this. im glad to see you back though. ive missed talking to you.

i hope things get better for you soon. im currently going through what you went through myself

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Oh @Sherry ...... I am so sorry to hear it , sending you tender hugs , sitting with you xx

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member
I'm glad to see you back as well though i wish it were under better circumstances for you. I am sorry that you came face to face with that reminder and that it has caused such a reaction 😞 I can relate as reminders to my past send me into similar states and it is so hard. here with you

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thanks @Former-Member @Former-Member @Former-Member @Determined @Faith-and-Hope @outlander @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Maggie for your messages of understanding and support.

I will just elaborate a little because what Enigma said is very true. There are a number of other stressors affecting me at present, and they have been around for several months.

A couple of months ago my Mum was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer and had a full mastectomy. She is now home and recovering slowly after having got the flu when in hospital for her surgery, which later developed into pneumonia. So she had several stints in hospital. I was down there as much as I could for her, including once she came home from hospital. But as she lives some 7 hrs drive from me, its not possible to be there as much as I'd like. She is now refusing further post operative treatment which has been recommended. She is 80 though, and says she knows what she's doing.

The same week my Mum was diagnosed with cancer, my Husband was also diagnosed with metastatic cancer on his lungs. Although a PET scan confirmed cancer, they didnt know whether it had metastisized from the Renal cancer he had 6 years ago (had a kidney removed), or from the melanoma he'd had removed early last year. Either way the nodules were numerous and scattered through both lungs.

The only way they could determine where the cancer originated, and thus know the best treatment, was to get a sample for pathology. So a major operation (a lung wedge resection) was performed 2.5 weeks ago in our nearest City hospital by a cardio thoracic surgeon. Hubby has been most unwell since then, and still remains in the City hospital now. 18 days in hospital, and still counting, is a long time. We are hoping he can be transferred to our local hospital this week, but so far nobody is prepared to release him. His recovery from the operation should speed up once he's back in familiar surroundings and where his friends can call in and visit him.

Anyway all that has meant I have had to travel to the City and spend numerous nights there on my own. For me, being in a City alone is a trigger for my PTSD and I have been suffering as a result. Coming on top of the episode overseas, thats probably been enough to keep me in the acute stages of ptsd I suppose.

And the bad news from the pathology results last week is that hubby has Stage IV (metastatic) Melanoma. No cure for that, its simply a matter of time. Further tests are being done to see if some of the new immunotherapy treatments are likely to be beneficial, but even they dont cure or prolong life. It may help reduce the size and prevent further spread, plus keep him symptom free for a little longer than otherwise. But there really is no cure.

Just before my hubby went into hospital for his operation almost 3 weeks ago, my Dad was diagnosed with heart failure. So he is waiting to get in to see a cardiologist to see what can be done to help him. Meanwhile he is on blood thinners to make it easier for his heart to pump blood through his body. It is so far helping to keep him stable, and he is not having so much trouble breathing. So thats good. Its now just a matter of waiting for an appointment through the public health system.

My brother who lost his little girl 2 years ago in a car accident continues to be a big concern for me as I try to support him as much as I can from afar. He has PTSD, is suicidal and has lifelong physical injuries as a result of the accident and is still unable to return to work. With him its very much a day to day thing, with many ups and downs. I do my best as his primary contact on his safety plan, but sometimes the long phone calls are more than I can manage.

So I seem to be getting hit from all angles lately. Definitely an accumulation of things as Enigma suggested. I also recently experienced the loss of a support network through which I had been seeking some support for myself. That hurt deeply, and I feel very let down and unsupported as a result.

Which is why the support and understanding you people have shown me, means so much. Thankyou.

Sherry

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Wow! @Former-Member I am so sorry to hear all that you are going through. To see and watch people you love go through such painful, traumatic experiences is very hard. You must feel absolutely exhausted.

I am the same with big cities. Do you have to drive there, or catch public transport? Either way, both sound stressful. Do you have anyone to keep you company when you have to travel there? I hate to think of you doing it alone.

Feel for you deeply and am sad that you are alone. I wish I could be there is person.

I am going to have to go and do the school run now, but just wanted to quickly say that I read your message and am sending love to you and I am glad that you feel that you can reach out on here. It is so important to feel that we are understood and that people care.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member It's a very bad day for me, but I just wanted to drop by and let you know I'm here with you, listening, caring as best I can. There are just no words to express what I would like to say regarding the battle you are in right now, being hit from every angle. You need support for you right now and you have it. I don't have words of wisdom @Former-Member but my heart does reach out to you. I can sit and listen and let you know you are heard, and I hear you. I'm sending you a warm hug. 💗💗💗

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member

Agree with @Maggie, no words can express what I am thinking/ feeling for you at the moment.
Please just know you are in my thoughts and here to listen.

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