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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member .... it is important for you to communicate this conflict of interest to your support people - gp, therapist, any close friends .... important that you know you are not alone, even if they can't make the decisions for you ....

Is there a support service within your area - visiting nurse or other carers - who can help support your husband so you can go to your brother ? Carer's Australia may be able to advise you. While your husband is discomforted, your brother appears to be the higher priority in fact .... and it is not helping your state of mind to be under your husband's mean-spiritedness at the moment. You are entitled to care as well .... and the first rule of carers needs to be self-care.

Its okay for you to put your hand up and say, this is beyond my ability to cope with. Men like your husband and mine need to hear that sometimes .... that they can't keep dishing it out and you taking it .... that they are in fact biting the hand that feeds them.

Feeling for you @Former-Member ..... walking with you ..... 💜💐💕

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member I have been thinking about you alot lately. I really hope you are ok - I miss seeing you around...

Zoe

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi Sherry this is my first time using an online forum and I was particularly taken with your story. I am so sorry about all the tragic things that happened to you and I hope one day you reach a point where you can feel comfortable with yourself.

I to experienced being hurt by someone I knew. He came to live with us when I was very young but the hurting didn't start till I was about 4y/o. Unlike yourself I don't remember much of the abuse and the things I do just seem to condradict each other.

I wish I knew exactly what happened so I could form a proper opinion or get some answers but there's no way of knowing how things started, how they stopped, if he was gentle, or if he was even the one who enicciated it. I'm sorry if what I'm writing is wrong and if I'm suppose to be writing this stuff somewhere else I'm very new at this. Please take care of yourself and know that reading your story has been a privledge Xo

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Good morning @ellie_gone ..... and welcome to the forums .....😊

@Former-Member has been a little absent recently with family commitments, but I am sure she will respond to your post in her own time.

I am sorry to hear about your struggles and their cause, but you will find you are Amongst understanding and very compassionate friends here, who have struggles of our own, some quite similar to yours ......

Feel free to post on any thread. They don't actually "belong" to anyone ..... and as long as you stay within the guidelines, it all works very well usually. The guidelines are accessible through the Home page, but feel free to ask questions to help you find your way around.

🌷💜
F&H

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hello to all who visit this thread. @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7, thanks for your recent enquiries as to how I am doing.

@ellie_gone, welcome to the Sane Forums. Its lovely to have you join us. Although the circumstances of what brought you here is not the best, its still nice to have fellow members who understand what each of us go through on an almost daily basis. Thanks for your comments on my story, I really appreciate what you have said. It helps to know that our thoughts and feelings are validated by others.

I am so very sorry for what you have had to go through as a young child. I know what it was like going through what I did as an adult, but to imagine what a young child would have gone through is simply beyond me. Your young mind would have protected you from the worst of your trauma I expect, by dissociating to some extent. I also dissociated immediately after the worst of my trauma. Dissociation kicks in when we are unable to deal with events or memories. My psych has told me that the time I was 'gone' is unlikely to ever come back to me. So perhaps thats a good thing?

I wanted to reassure you that you have said nothing wrong in your post Ellie-gone, and like @Faith-and-Hope has said, you are very welcome to post to any existing threads that you 'connect' with. So I am very honoured that you have chosen my thread to post your first message.

I try to take good care of myself Ellie and I am still undergoing therapy with my psychologist at least monthly. I find this invaluable as it is my only support outside of the Forums.

If, by reading my story, it has helped you or provided inspiration in some way, then I am very grateful. It means that the pain experienced in expressing my story has been worthwhile.

If you feel up to it, how about opening a new thread yourself in the "Our Experience and Stories" section of the Lived Experience Forum? Or if you dont feel confident to do so just yet, then just continue to browse the many threads on the forums and contribute to any that you feel an affinity with. Just like you did with mine here.

Meanwhile I hope you are doing okay, and to see you around the Forums over the coming days and weeks. You will find some wonderfully kind and supportive people here, with loads of experience and knowledge.

Again I thank you for visiting me here on my thread. If you decide to open your own thread, please tag me so I get to read it. Meanwhile I hope you have a good Sunday.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hello @ellie_gone and welcome to the forum

Hello @Former-Member, how are you going today xx

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Well its quite some time since I last visited my thread. Its been a very difficult, distressing and eventful 4 months. Culminating in an incident last month where I was very badly triggered, and my PTSD once again became acute. Although its now about 6 weeks since that incident, I just dont seem to have recovered from it. My psych said that it can take several weeks for a flare such as that to settle back down again to a chronic level, but I feel like I am still waiting for that to happen.

Admittedly it was pretty major and really knocked me for six. It occurred at a most unexpected place. I was overseas at the time, staying in a hotel. I'd come down in the lift to the hotel lobby, hubby was in his room at the time so I was alone. As I came out of the lift there was a man waiting to get in. I didnt take much notice until he spoke to me and I had to look at thim. He seemed familiar to me somehow, he had unique features. He asked me where I was from, I said Australia. He told me he was from the ACT and I said I was from NSW. It was then that I realised why he had looked vaguely familiar. He was a friend of the man who had violently sexually assaulted me 21 years earlier. I had only met him briefly a couple of times back then, but there is no doubt it was him. He must have thought I looked familiar as well, which is why he asked me where I was from.

I immediately went into a panic. I fled to the nearby restroom, promptly vomited and then collapsed into the cubicle corner shaking violently and sobbing uncontrollably. Everything which had happened 21 years prior was brought back so vividly in my mind, it may as well have been happening all over again. Yes thats right, it was your typical flashback. I've had them before, but not quite as bad as this. It was intense, it was completely debilitating. I was there for something like half an hour before I was in a fit state to venture back out again and return to my room.

For the remaining couple of days I was overseas I was constantly on the alert in case my attacker may somehow also be there with this former friend of his. Thankfully I did not see either of them again during my stay. And I have no idea if this man had figured out who I actually was.

But like I said, its now over 6 weeks ago this happened, and I am just not improving. I have the nightmares every night still, the very high erratic pulse and heart beat, difficulting in breathing, tightness in the chest, I've stopped eating. I've lost a lot of weight in the past 6 months and have gone from a healthy weight to now being underweight. My OCD is unrelenting and plays tricks on my mind constantly.

When does it all end? I've had Exposure Therapy, CBT, EMDR. Whats left?

@Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @ellie_gone @Former-Member @outlander @Determined @Former-Member @Maggie

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member 💜💜💜

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Oh @Former-Member ...... I am so sorry to hear it ...... I am glad to see you back with us ....... please rest here awhile where we can sit with you ....... and just send you hugs and love ......

♥️💐💕

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member
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