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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Otter ... thank you very much for your reassurance and for your support. I very much appreciate it. Tremendous strength is not something I see in myself. I think my being here and reaching out for support is more out of a sense of fear and desperation. But your words are very kind and I thank you.

@outlander ... 💕💕🤗

@Former-Member ... I'm so grateful that you have agreed to visit me here, because your thread is one of the ones I cannot currently post to. And I really didnt want to lose touch with you. I have grown very fond of you ... Kimmy, Kimberley, Nikki and Izzy. I will certainly continue to support you when I can, even it thats only a support button. I look at my beautiful butterfly Kimmy made for me every day, I have it on my study wall. In fact I'm currently on my PC in the study, and I am looking at my butterfly right now. 🦋

Sherry 💕

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member ❤❤

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Lee82... thank you for your kind and reassuring words. It makes me feel a little less sad to think I'm perhaps not the dreadful person I sometimes think I am. I do try to speak in a kind and caring manner, and it always comes from the heart. I'm happy to think that you will visit here occasionally.

@eth... thank you Eth. Yes I think you are correct, its important to establish boundaries around involvement here on the forums. Please dont apologise for not being around a lot lately. You have been dealing with a lot offline, and as you said ... self care needs to be a priority. So glad you got that housing app in. Life will seem much less overwhelming for you now I feel sure. Your offer of a listening ear is appreciated, and I'm sure I will call on that at some point in time. Thank you.

@Peri... I'm really sorry that my post caused you to feel distressed. Yes its true that I did need to take a step back, and I'm quite proud of myself for having done that. Especially given the circumstances. Even though I suffered during my time away. You are one very lovely lady Peri ... you never say a lot, but what you do say is very meaningful and powerful. I think you're pretty special too, and I'm very grateful that you decided to stick around, rather than leaving. Thank you. 🌸

@Snowie... thank you for your support, either here or elsewhere. It means a lot to me, especially now when I'm unable to be where I want to be. I'll bet you are looking forward to going home on Monday, after such a long stay in hospital. Happy hubby, happy kids, happy dog. And hopefully happy YOU. 😊

Sherry 💕

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member ... Hugs to you too. Yes I hope it will be a workable plan for the time being. I'm hoping its temporary, but who knows. Although its more comfortable for me to avoid certain threads, its also a little cumbersome. Trying to respond to posts in other threads, over here, is not easy. But it will have to do for now. I have been able to talk to you on your new Seniors Thread though, so thats good because I get to talk to you direct that way. But I am sorry that I cant visit your other thread for the time being. Although you dont seem to be using it much right now anyway, as you seem more content with your new one. Which I think is a good thing. Yes I will tag you here any time I wish to talk to you, or else catch you on your seniors thread if appropriate. Yes its disappointing about the SI. I havent been this bad in some time, probably over 2 years. I did something stupid the last time it was bad, and ended up in hospital. Yep ... deep breaths. I flushed the offending 'means' down the toilet after that, and cant get more. So that wont happen again. More deep breaths. Sigh.

Sherry 🌺

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Awwww @Bunniekins ... how could I ever choose to leave here, and leave my glamour Pea behind? Never! Couldnt do it. Sure thing, even when I am not up to posting, I will always continue to 'support' you via your posts Pea. Because I do support you .. always. Gonna miss you being around as much when you head off to uni in a couple of weeks time. But I totally applaud what you are doing, and I wish you well. I have the greatest respect for you. 😊🌸

Sherry 💓

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member ... sorry I wasnt able to respond properly earlier. No doubt you're asleep by now.

Thank you for asking how I am tonight. I had to think about that before responding.

I think I'm doing better ... yes that would be fair to say.

I'm wondering about you though ... I see that Nikki the protector has returned. Does that mean Izzy is not coping so well tonight? Anyway ... I really hope you are all safe and calm. I will talk again when you're around next time.

Sleep well and sweet dreams.

Sherry 🦋

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hugs to you too @Shaz51 🤗💕

Not sure about pictures not working. @outlander tried to post a picture here last night too I think, and it wouldnt work. But then she tried again a little later and it worked. Not sure whats going on. I havent tried to post a pic in a while. But others have, including @Former-Member who posts the most beautiful pictures, so perhaps its an intermittent glitch in the system?

How have you been @Shaz51 ? I think last I read, you were to have more testing on Friday for future kidney transplant. Did I get that right? And if so, how did it all go? I guess you wont have any results for a while though. Now tell me ... did you get the blue around the mouth checked out by your Doc? You were going to ask about it, and I just hope you did so. Says me ... Ms Bossy Boots! It could be very serious, so its not something you should be ignoring.

Okay I will try to catch you on your thread tomorrow some time. Or I will wait until you post an update there perhaps.

Good night ...

Sherry 🌺😴

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Its hit and miss @Former-Member sometimes they work on one thread but not another but then an hour later ir might work on the thread it wouldn't work on before. Its abit annoying and frustrating. It usually works fine on my phone though so i use that instead sometimes

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Peri

I was interested to read your post here about drinking earlier today.

Its definitely true that as we get older we are less able to hold our liquor.

It sounds like you had a little too much to drink when you had Friday drinks at a neighbours.

I'm sorry you were left feeling embarrassed and ashamed. I have to say that there has only ever been once that I felt embarrassed and ashamed about my drinking. Usually when out anywhere, I am the designated driver. So I generally only have the one drink. But the one occasion I got very drunk, I really got very drunk. In fact I cannot even remember how I got home, although I was told it was via a courtesy bus. It was just our local country pub and hubby had been really horrible to me that night. So I had a couple of drinks to try to quell the hurt. Then one of hubbys mates started getting me more drinks, and before I knew it, I realised I had had too many. So I told hubby I was going to get the bus home. He refused to let me and got really angry. So I sat and waited. Meanwhile my former boss (it was the Hotel Motel I had worked at for a couple of years .. as bookkeeper, accountant, etc) started giving me some of those Shots things. So I had a couple of those. And I dont remember much after that. Only waking up the next morning confused and feeling very sick. So I still dont know what happened between when I last recall those couple of drinks, and when I woke up at home. I dont think I want to know. So yeah .. I get the embarrassment and feeling of shame around drinking too much. That would have been about 3 or 4 years ago now.

It was the shots that did it ... its not something I would normally do of course. But it was a sort of test by hubby and the boys I think, and silly me .. I got sucked right in.

So if its good for you to know that others do this ... well I guess I'm happy to be the bad example of what not to do. 😔 I thank you also for sharing that with us here too. It was nice of you to do so.

Normally I have a glass or two of wine of an evening. I usually prefer a good red, but dont mind some of the dry whites. But I also like scotch, which I have on the rocks. And when I drink to forget, to try to sleep or to lessen the pain, its the scotch I usually indulge in. I have been pretty good though the last year or so, which I'm happy about.

@Former-Member ... interesting that you say you have been drinking since a teenager, and likely due to your CPTSD. I never drank at all until I met my husband, and that wasnt until I was 36. I would have a very rare drink for special occasions, but that was about it. You could say that my husband turned me to the drink. Or its possible that my PTSD helped turn me to the drink, because my main trauma occurred only some 6 months before I met my husband. Either way Pippi, I do know that when I'm going through a particularly rough time, I do turn to the drink more. Its definitely something I need to persistently work on avoiding.

I am definitely not a social drinker, as I said if we are going out somewhere its me who is the driver. So I have my one drink and then stick with water. Its more when at home that I tend to overindulge.

@Former-Member I'm sorry to hear that you didnt get much sleep last night. A quiet day for you, until another drama struck by the sound of things. I will get to your other post soon, about your husbands accident.

Wow .. that chocolate waffle with icecream on the side ... so indulgent. Yummmmm

Sherry 🌺

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member

Oh dear .. thats awful about your hubby being in an accident and having a broken leg. If he needs an operation, I wonder why they sent him home? It sounds like a serious break. You poor thing, now having to be nurse.

When does the operation need to take place? Perhaps they need swelling to go down first or something like that.

I think its probably best to avoid the shower for the time being. Perhaps just a bit of a sponge bath if necessary, will suffice.

Hmmm yeah .. so much for your relaxing day .. thats for sure. Well that changed in a hurry didnt it?

I hope you are coping okay there right now, and with luck .. you have hubby settled and comfy, and you're able to get some well earned rest as well. Its nearly midnight , so I too should be in bed.

No you are not burdening me at all Pippi. The reason I did not respond immediately is because I was trying to get through a backlog of posts here. I have to try to stay on top of replys, as it bothers me when I havent done so. I dont want it to get out of hand for me. And everyone had written such lovely posts here and I just wanted to acknowledge that.

But if you are awake and still around now .. I will be here for a few more minutes before I head off to bed. Other wise I will catch up tomorrow, and you can tell me more about how hubbys going and what the plan is for his surgery etc.

So .. yes you should come here to the forums, if thats what helps you. I'm only sorry I wasnt here for you when you needed someone to talk to. But I'm happy that @outlander was here for you.

Good night.

Sherry 💕
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