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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Hi Sherry, I am new here to sane, and thank you for sharing your experiences here. I hear you. I suffer with Complex PTSD, and the road is hard...but NOT impossible. Are you open to new experiences in your treatment? Try using a float tank as well as acupuncture, along with learning mindful compassion. I'll share more of my journey over time, but I really wanted you to know that what you experience is normal, considering your trauma. Keep making yourself safe, take time to quiet your racing thoughts and be gentle. Can you imagine yourself as being the leader of yourself, just able and qualified, worthy, and trusted? I'm so glad you've reached out today!!

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Oh @Former-Member, i hesitate to open threads with titles such as this for fear it will trigger my own ptsd, but today I'm strong enough. Thank you for trusting us with your heart and sharing this all consuming trauma in detail. It was hard for me to read so I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you to write, let alone go through at the time and over and over again since, with even the slightest triggers and flashbacks.

How dare he do that to you!!! And please don't beat yourself up about not thinking straight enough to not shower etc. Your gut instinct is true - the courts would have crucified you letting this 'old friend' in the door most likely ( I admire women, people who take them on) but in your case, you were in severe shock & probably concussed. I've done it myself, shower first chance, because I felt so dirty and dazed and thought it was 'my fault' for being silly enough to get in the car with a stranger.

Also, I understand the fear of dying in the middle of it, of cause we do - here they are brutalising our being, and we're trapped - surely they're gonna finish the job. But no, they are not there to be merciful, only to take what their body needs and throw the scraps away. Ba#£%£#s!!! Arrrr!!!

Its such a life threatening and degrading, dehumanising experience (sometimes I wish he finished me), its no wonder we still struggle decades later.

Not sure what else to say to help really - i think i understand a bit though and in that sense you are not alone. You probably know about ptsd treatments, mindfulness and self compassion...

This does not define the precious souls we are, but it has altered us, which we carry forever, hopefully a little lighter with every new skill.

Be gentle with yourself Sherry, you've been through a lot.

Big hug! Tawnz xox

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Ohhh @Former-Member my friend xx

Sending you tender hugs

We are here for you my friend

Hello @Former-Member, I did the same when I first joined , which I found was helpful , we are here for you

Hello @Former-Member, @Jek, @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Thank you for sharing your story. And thank you for just expressing so openly. I feel as though I still struggle to verbalise openly in a forum like this probably because I don't wish to contribute to triggering unnecessarily. I guess it depends where we're at in our treatment. I suffer wuth complex PTSD and it has been a gruelling road. I am in a much better place now thanks to so many gifts I have discovered but I've been struggling a bit with some deeper insecurities and in approaching deeper grief. I suffered sexual abuse from 4 pedophiles, horrendous physical, mental, emotional neglect, the killing of my pets, survived a house fire, was struck by a speeding bus, as well as the long term consequences of abusive relationships, self harm, addiction and so on. I am one of the lucky ones. With extraordinary work, a kind therapist over 8 years, a developing spiritual belief system and bucket loads of tears and pain, I have crossed a threshold and feel that I am over the worst. I still find change a struggle, but was told yesterday that frustration is something to welcome for it leads to deeper change. This is the short version, but I feel like identifying and sharing some of my story today. Its a part of our healing, I guess. But I am NOT my trauma. Now I reimagine myself in those moments as being a strong, lovable little boy. Now I compose beautiful music to nurture and heal myself and others. PTSD changes our brain structure and nervous systems. Look up "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel vander Kolk. Thanks for listening.

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

I'm just going to sit with you @Former-Member ..... and hold your hand ..... and breathe with you ..... and sit with you when you cry ..... and think if of you when the nights are hard and the words won't come ..... and read what you write to help heal your innermost being from this atrocity ..... and send you loving, healing thoughts ..... and through it all, walk with you, holding your hand .....

❤️ 💕 ❤️ 💕 ❤️ 💕 ❤️ 💕 ❤️ 💐

In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

I hope you don't mind, Faith and Hope, but I'd just love to say your username is so inspiring and comforting. Thank you for tnis beautiful sentiment to Sherry. If you don't mind, I'll hold onto that thought, too!!! Glad I joined SANE today. Take gentle care!!!

In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD


@Jek " PTSD changes our brain structure and nervous systems."
Absolutely. We have a whole different neurology to live with and unravel. It is a gruelling task that requires enormous strength to get through.

In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

@Former-Member @Jek @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Former-Member

Thank you all so very much. Its really important to be understood and still accepted, despite knowing the worst. You have all done that for me, and I am feeling really overwhelmed with emotion right now.

I also thank you for opening up about your own experiences here as well, as I know how difficult that is. Perhaps in some small way, I have helped some of you, by opening the door to expressing your own pain. I really hope that I havent caused anybody further harm or triggered anybody in this process.

As I mentioned, I am feeling totally spent right now - emotionally and physically. Which seems kind of silly. Perhaps thats all part of revealing so much of myself? I need to compose myself now, some calming deep breaths to try to get the heartbeat and breathing back under control.

Again I thank you, and will respond to your posts in more detail when I feel more able to make some sense.

In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

@Former-Member @Former-Member @Jek @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51

I have read all the posts here for the last few days and can only extend my heartfelt sorrow and compassion to all those who have experienced such trauma and pain I empathise and can relate with the 'experiences' and will come back to reply at another time more fully - unable to at present - too close to home and not in the right headspace! But I believe it is important that I do find some distance here and then revisit the 'subject' when I am better able to.

Just wanted to let you know @Former-Member @Former-Member @Jek that I have listened, I hear you, I am walking with you if needed, and I admire the strength and courage that you have shown to share your stories xxx

Zoe

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Absolutely @Jek ...... ❤️💕💐❣

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